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Wednesday's DT

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
*sigh* I need a hug.

It is exactly two years ago today that mom had her fatal accident. She died 8 days later. I didn't think it would affect me this much today. I am definately having a 'blue' day.

What is everyone else up to? Maybe someone can get a chuckle out of me.

I didn't see another DT started. If yes, sorry!

Hope you all have a great end of day.

I have a metting in 1/2 hour and then it's off to the dentist with Steven. He's getting a tooth pulled. Can my day get any better?????
post #2 of 17
Ghyslaine! What a day! I'm sending you a big hug! ({{})) You love your mom. Of course you're sad today. Later, I have some cute trivia to post, so check it out when you get home. I hope the dentist appointment goes well for Steven. Maybe knowing that your friends care will help to put a smile on your face. I hope so.

I'm ordering from Toys R Us, trying to get in on the free shipping. I hate having to make up my mind so quickly, but it helps me to shop from home. Have a great day, everyone!
post #3 of 17
Ghys, ((((HUGS)))) The anniversary of my mother's passing is always a very sad day for me. January 24, three years this coming year. Christmas Eve is really mixed, too, since that was her favorite holiday. Happy for the holiday, but there is such an emptiness when we are exchanging gifts.

Nothing much going on for me today. Earl's auctions end today and we will find out how much we get to spend for Christmas. I really hate that, I love buying presents for everyone and finding just the perfect present, but that won't happen this year. We'll be lucky to be able to get each other something nice. I am cross stitching large ornaments for everyone in my family, and I really hope that they see the home-made presents as thoughtful and personal and not just cheap. I know Dad will, but my horrible sister probably won't. Actually, she isn't that bad, it's her husband that is horrible but he has completely changed everything about her, taken over her whole being. It's quite sad for me to see because she used to be a good friend as well as sister. Now we maybe talk twice a year and see each other that much too. She only lives 60 miles away.

Well, I'm not much for cheering up, am I? Sorry, Ghys.
post #4 of 17
I'm just hanging around the house, today. The furnace repairman was due between 9-10. He showed up at 9:58! Cool! We had a loose wire, that kept the furnace from working. The days have been nice (81 today) but the nights are a bit nippy, especially when I get out of the shower.

I made our Thanksgiving dinner reservation. My parents are going to a brother's house, Mark and Sam are going to her parents and Bill's sister and brother-in-law have to work. I'm NOT cooking for just the two of us!

Bill was a busy fellow, yesterday. First thing, after work, he baked brownies. Then, he cut up a load of mesquite wood, for our grill. After all of that, he cooked dinner. If we could afford it, I'd work and let him stay home. He makes a much better "wife" than I do.

Happy hump day y'all.
post #5 of 17

I am so sorry about your mom. This must be a very hard day for you. {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

Take care, and do something nice for yourself today. You deserve it.
post #6 of 17
I'm probably so late, Ghyslaine won't see this - but I'm sending (((((hugs))))) anyway. I haven't had to face the problem of losing a parent - and I can't imagine that pain. I have none of my grandparents, and I was very close to my grandpa. I miss him very much - and I still write him a letter each month at the same time I used to when he was alive. I just keep the stack of letters. It feels good to "talk" to him. I still feel like he's with me.

Seems like kind of a blue day all the way around. Except of course for Cindy, living the unemployed high-life! ()

I had to re-quit smoking again because I was a bbbaaaaddddd girl yesterday.

We worked our tails off this morning - then spent the last couple of hours of the "day" insulating outside. We had to get LOTS of insulation up under the wheel wells (we have eight tires and six wheel wells) and in all the extra space of the outside cabinets. Taped up the slats windows and packed insulation in the windows we're willing to not open during the winter. Then cut and taped up insulation to close all the space between the ground and the bottom of the bus. We didn't finish, and are going to have to get up with the sun tomorrow to rush - rain's coming!

Sending smiles and hugs.
post #7 of 17
Good cheer coming Ghys' way! Of course you are sad today. And, those days stay with you in my experience. My Father passed away January 7, 1999, the day after my birthday...and 2 days after my Mom's birthday. Needless to say, that used to be a big celebration time for our family with both of us having birthdays one day apart!

Now, I actually dread the time when my birthday is coming around...and so does my Mom. All I can think of is talking to my Dad the night of January 6th, they called to wish me a Happy Birthday and to firm up plans for a birthday dinner that weekend. The next day I got the call from my brother at the hospital that my Dad was gone.

Christmas day is hard...that was the last time I saw my Dad, his birthday, and of course Father's Day. But there are SO many days tht I miss him throughout the year.

It does get a LITTLE easier as time goes by, but I am always sad and moody on those "special" days.

Today was just plain blah! Work...laundry...dinner...sleep.

Nice weather here in DE today though...but back to rain tomorrow.

Hope everyone has a pleasant Wednesday evening.
post #8 of 17
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone! I think what makes today even harder is that this is the second year that family members gather at the gravesite. I haven't gathered enough courage to go yet. I feel guilty, I feel bad and I am sooooo scared of facing her grave stone. Can't even fathom the idea of it. I almost get physically ill just thinking about going there. I have a couple friends that have offered to go with me anytime just to see if I can make it through. I just don't want to imagine her down there....I can't. I also lost me dad when I was 19. I really envy everyone who as both their parents. It really is not an easy thing to go through. I just hope, that the next one to go is me (I'm talking years and years from now). I couldn't bear another loss.

Carla, I'm so sorry about your loss. But, on the bright side, this must bring you comfort. One of the last thoughts he had was of you. What a blessing.

Again....thank you for all the hugs. I could actually almost feel them each time I read your posts.

Have a great evening everyone.

post #9 of 17
(((((Hugs))))) to all who need them.

I am blessed to have both of my parents, although I think I said that.

What I decided to write in about this time was my best friend from High School (I'm 40 in Feb and we're still close friends).

She got married to her long-time boyfriend in 1990. It was a BIG wedding, and I was part of the wedding party - it was a lot of fun. I flew to Chicago from NY and hung out with her and her best friend from college (who I'd met numerous times before) for several days before the wedding. Her parents were SO thrilled, and her dad loved John. Both Lisa (my friend) and John are VERY family oriented people. Lisa's house was where we always hung out, and her Dad always said "Hi" and hung out with us for some time. Both of her parents were professors, and were just great people. Her Dad always cracked us up - he had that disease where you fall asleep in the middle of a sentence (doesn't matter whether you're sitting down or standing up) - and sleep for several minutes to several hours. He had a great sense of humor and would always joke about it himself.

The day of her Wedding came. I popped over there first thing in the morning, and of course everything was in chaos. Lisa's mom ran up to wake up her Dad because it was "getting late" - and he had passed away. It was so so sad. The death of a parent is always so difficult - but on your wedding day? Lisa and her mom, of course, was in tears. We all were. Julie (best friend from college) and I took over. With over 300 people coming and the massive "to-do" planned, we agreed with Lisa's mom - if she could go through with it, it's what her Dad would want. Fortunately her Dad's "assistant" of many, many years was a close family friend - kind of like an older brother (it was just Lisa and her little Sister). We all decided he should give her away.

We took care of everything there that needed taking care of. Lisa and John had rented several suites at a hotel downtown in Chicago (same hotel where the reception was being held later). They went to get dressed for the wedding, etc. Julie and I turned up later.

Lisa pulled it together, and we were ready to go. Julie and I took a cab together to the church - Lisa was supposed to follow in the Limo with her Mom and John's Mom. We're at the church, and Lisa's "older brother" makes the announcement to the whole church. It was a short, beautiful speach - and avoided wails by ending by saying that the family had decided to go ahead with the wedding as they were certain it was what Lisa's Dad would have wanted. So everyone's there, everything's ready - and we see the Limo pull up. We give the go signal to start playing the wedding march. Out of the Limo comes - Lisa's mom and John's mom - but no Lisa! THEY'D FORGOTTEN HER!!!! She realized it pretty quickly, and just a few minutes later (as we're all scrambling to call the hotel, track her down, etc.) she pulls up in a cab, runs into the church and shouts - ANYBODY HAVE MONEY FOR THE CAB? She didn't have a purse or money or.... it broke the ice and provided a much needed laugh.

It was sweet, but so sad. I've never asked, but I'm sure Lisa's anniversary celebrations are tinged with sorrow.

BTW - it was a beautiful wedding. After their vows and the kiss, Lisa spoke a few words about her Dad before they walked back up the isle. Her strength was incredible - although the whole place was in tears by the time she was done.
post #10 of 17
Thread Starter 
Wow Laurie, Thank you. I think I needed that story. It makes me realize that even when you think no-one else can possibly be hurting as much as you, you realize that others go throught the same, if not worse. My hat's off to your friend and the whole family for pulling herself together enough to go on with the ceremony. Although I doubt I could have ever been as strong.
post #11 of 17
I think it's knowing that her dad loved John, and it IS what he would have wanted that carried her through.

On a different subject - Ghyslaine - your party dress sounds beautiful! I think someone (hint) should start a "Christmas Party Pic" thread with pics of self (or with others) in X-mas party duds!
I just wear plain old business suit to the office parties - but I'd LOVE to see everybody's Party Dresses - and so many people probably get special clothes - and this would be a chance to both "show them off," share with friends who aren't there - and kind of have our own X-mas party together here!

post #12 of 17
Thread Starter 
Party Dress Thread huh???? Sounds cool.

Well, for our Xmas party, I have bought disposable cameras that will be left on everyone's table. There will be close to 100 people there that night so I may be able to get a good picture or two to post (I hope) I guess it all depends on when the shot is taken: before....or after the wine!

I'll let everyone here in on a little secret. No one knows here. Okay...2 people know. I have had extensions made for my hair. I get treatments 2 times a month (I have baby fine hair - very thin) Anyways....it's actually starting to pay off. My hair looks thicker than it's ever been. My dream has always been to have long hair. I never had this because of the fact that it's so thin. So, they clipped a piece of my hair, shipped it off to the States and yesterday, I got a call that the extensions were ready. I go on saturday morning to get them put in and styled. I am pretty excited. Not only will my hair look thick, it's going to be long!!!! So, my question: Do I wear it up? Or should I really shock everyone and leave it loose? It'll probably be around half way down my back. The extensions have clips so I can wear them when I feel like. I was not a good candidate to have it weaved right onto my hair bacause of the weight that method causes.
post #13 of 17
Wow Ghys, hair extensions! That sound TOO glam!

Personally, I would wear it up, but with loosely ringletted curling tendrils handing down around your face and your neck.

That way you have impact of a glamourously (sp???) piled up hairdo with hints of the length.

Whaddya think?

Laurie - that was the most bittersweet story I think I've ever heard. Your friend sounds incredibly brave. I too miss my father (it'll be 5 years in January). I know what Ghys and Carla are both going through. It doesn't get any easier as the years go by - you just accept it and carry on, but sometimes the pain and loss catches up with you when you least expect it and you really have to take time out alone for 5 minutes to get your head together.
post #14 of 17
Thread Starter 
Thanks for the advice Yola (and especially not thinking it's tacky!!! :LOL! I think in some kind of updo would be nice but I really want the long hair feeling too. I have to find some pictures now!

BTW: I am feeling a bit better today. Had a pretty rough day yesterday and right now, at 8:14am today (2 years ago) I was just getting out of the cab at Sunnybrook hospital in Toronto. That was the day I saw my mom for the first time after her accident. It was the most difficult thing to do. A few family memebrs had to help me out of the room. Just awful. She was on life support for 9 days before passing on. Personally, it brings me more comfort to think she died instantly instead of at the hospital. I have a feeling next week will be my hardest. I honestly really miss her like crazy but, like I have mentioned a few times in the past couple months here. I have found so much comfort and support from all of you. I almost feel like she led me right to you guys somehow. Holding everything in and not talking about this has been hard. I very rarely talk about what happeded and writing about it makes the load on my shoulders much lighter.
post #15 of 17
Ghyslaine - I'm so excited for you!!! Hate to say it - but I've always had thick, long hair. As a kid, it was so thick I couldn't use those special rubberbands for hair - it didn't fit. But I've always been so uncreative with it - I guess it takes not having it to appreciate it! I cut my hair short in college - I just didn't really like the way it looked on me. But I've just never been able to be "bothered" with it. And unless I have a big important meeting, I don't even blow-dry it in the morning. Lazy? I don't know.....

Anyway, that's so cool of you to go for it! Is hubby one of the ones that knows? Or is this going to be like a total shocker for him? Either way, it really sounds like fun for you.

I agree with Yola. Up with the hint of length is very glamorous. But - I guess I think you should decide once you see it (and feel it!). If you've dreamed about having long, thick hair - maybe you should just let it all out and have fun with it flowing over your shoulders! (And not to mention the fun of impact-shocking everyone. That could be fun too!)


Glad to hear you're feeling better today. But also glad you know we're here when you need us.

post #16 of 17
Ghyslaine, I had long hair for so long, but French twists were not "in" when I had it cut. I have been wearing it much shorter now because I don't have the patience to allow it to grow thatlong. I hate the "in between" stages. You can wear it either way, can't you? French twists are so elegant.

Now could you please help me and Myste at the same time? Please read this thread. I think you can help with a poor, hungry Bengal cat that needs shelter and care. Thank you in advance. It's only advice she needs.

post #17 of 17
Ghys - I haven't really been on line for a few days, but I just wanted to add my hugs and support for you. The next week will probably be very difficult for you - I am here for you if you need to chat!
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