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Frankie, My Angle that was called back -- Trying to cope :(

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
I got frankie 10 years ago in 1996 as a kitten. He grew up sleeping in my arms like a little baby and even threw his life whenever I would hold him in my arms he would lay there and cuddle up like a baby. Frankie saved me threw alot of low points in my life. He gave me faith when my grandmother died 4 years ago by cuddling up with me and keeping near me while I cried. He was truly an angelic cat that was so loving and forgiving. He would always cry and meow when I had my door closed at night; he couldnt stand closed doors. When our old dog was battling blindness and would fight frankie, frankie always forgave him and helped keep sugar clean. Sugar passed about 3 years ago. Friday of last week I got very worried about frankie because he was listless and had toxic breath so I took him to the Vet. The Vet ran blood tests on him and said he would call on Saturday. The Vet called us while I was at work.. when I got home I got the worst news anyone would want to hear. Frankie had Kidney Diease at the end stages and it was best to put him to sleep. Sunday morning we took him to the vet.. I refuse to put him in the cage so I carried him in the car and inside. The Vet told us his kidneys were pretty much scar tissue and that gasses were being relased into his body thats why Frankie seemed like he wasnt there at times. As the vet was telling us this frankie looked up at me for 5 min and just starred as if saying "how could you" it tore me up inside to think he might be saying that. I had to give him to the vet and as I walked out he just kept his eyes on me. I dont know why I im putting his story up on here I guess Im looking for someone to tell me that he doesnt think I left him.. doesnt think I dont love him. Im 22 and I have lost my bestfriend in the world. And I feel like his last thought of me was that I left him when he needed me the most.. when he needed me to fight for him... even though I know I couldnt put him threw all those IV's only to have the same outcome of death in the end. But I could have tried couldnt I? I could have tried to save him instead of just letting him go. I know people are saying hes in a good place now and so forth but it makes me sick thinking about all this thinking he hates me now for leaving him there to be killed by a vet that didnt love him.. with a needle that was as cold as ice.

RIP my angelic black and white cat Frankie.
Forever in my heart.. Forever memories remain.
post #2 of 20
Frankie knows that you love him and didn't abandon him. He knows it from the Rainbow Bridge and is watching over you. Forgive yourself and remember the love that you and Frankie shared.
post #3 of 20
I am so sorry for your loss. It brought tears to my eyes. Frankie is in a better place now. His kidneys were failing him and unfortunatly there isn't a cure for that. I just lost my 18 year old girl last June to kidney failure and it's a hard battle.

Frankie did not think you abandoned him. He knew you loved him with all your heart. I had a cat who was my special baby like Frankie is to you. I had to leave him at the vet also, and I felt as if I abandoned him too. I know that his spirit is watching over us. Frankie is watching over you until you meet again.

The memories of those last moments at the vet will fade, and the wonderful memories you shared with Frankie will fill your heart.

I am so sorry for your loss,

post #4 of 20
My Heart goes out to you, there is never an easy choice.
I know what it feels like but I have no idea how you are feeling. I so wish I could put my arms around you and tell you that I know you will be ok and that will be when you are ready to be OK.
Making that choice or watching your baby suffer day after day and going downhill I feel is the worst choice of the 2.
Your Frankie may have asked you to do that could he have spoken to you, We have to decide because they can't tell us they are suffering. He would not know to hate you for leaving him. I Myself had one with Kidney Disease and I made the same choice you did, why put them through all of that when in most cases it doesn't help when they are older and showing the effects of it.
I hope that you will Please not blame yourself and know that as much as we miss them they do not miss us that is my feeling they are over the Bridge Happy and Healthy chasing the other Kitties and Frankie will be waiting for you and watching over you till you see each other again.
Also having gone through it more then once I can tell you that you will still be standing when that pain you are feeling eases.
RIP Dear Sweet Frankie and know that Your Mommy Loved you enough not to put you through suffering.. and Thoughts and Prayers coming to you,,
post #5 of 20
RIP sweet Frankie.... play happily over the Rainbow Bridge
post #6 of 20
Frankie knows you did not leave him. I also have never been able to watch when they put them to sleep. I want to stop it so much. But you know your doing it for them.
you did all you could for him, and he knows that, Rest in peace Frankie, and play at the bridge ,
    • The Last Battle
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,

I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.
post #7 of 20
I am so sorry for your loss, Frankie is now playing over at the Bridge, and he is healthy once again, and I am sure that him and Sugar have found each other and are watching you.

Please don't feel guilty, Frankie knows that you loved him.

RIP Frankie
post #8 of 20
I'm so very sorry for your loss Nothing can take the pain away, but you gave Frankie a quality of life by letting him go, and he'll thank you for that one day when he sees you again

post #9 of 20
I just put my Simba to sleep on Friday and my first thought was I killed my cat. Then I regretted my decision. Simba was suffering eye problems in both eyes and had developed glaucoma, which is very painful. I had the option of surgery but my Simba also had heart failure and I just didn't feel that would be the right decision. I felt I would be prolonging his suffering. Heart failure and kidney failure are not fixable. Our 2 babies are playing together at Rainbow Bridge waiting for us. They are happy and healthy. But we here are crying and sad. Just know I cry with you and you are not alone in your pain and sadness.
post #10 of 20
I am very sorry for your loss, I too had to make the decision to put My Kitty Girl to sleep, one month ago today. She was only 11 months old and was
diagnosed with FIP. A very cruel disease and they go downhill very fast.
In the office the vet went to take her and as weak as she was, she found the energy to jump on me and climb up to my shoulder. I went back with her to put her down and I have to tell you it is very peaceful, fast and they do not suffer at all. I am glad I did this because I felt horrible that I did the same in October to my old dog with liver disease. I wondered if she suffered.
The pain does go away and are replaced with sweet memories. It really helps to come to "the cat site" for kind words and help getting over the pain.
Give yourself time to grieve..I still get tears in my eyes and I miss my baby terrible. Share your happy stories and believe that they are happy and healthy playing over the rainbow bridge until we meet again.
post #11 of 20
You didn't abandon your Frankie, or do anything else wrong. What you did, was to make a heartbreaking decision to end his suffering and that is the final most loving thing you could do for him. I know how much it hurts to have to let them go like that. Please don't blame yourself, because Frankie doesn't blame you. You will see him again someday. Until then, he is still in your heart and always will be.
post #12 of 20
I'm very sorry for your loss. You made the right decision, Frankie is no longer suffering. He is in a better place. He knows that you loved him.
post #13 of 20
RIP beloved Frankie.
post #14 of 20
I am really sorry about your loss. Honestly I know just how you feel a few years I also had to put my cat down that was really hard to do, maybe they meet up over the rainbow bridge and talk how much they love their mommies and hope their mommies know they know they were loved and felt loved. I believe cats know just who loves and will always been with that person in their heart.

Be strong and if it helps keep a pic of your angel closer by.
post #15 of 20
Originally Posted by katachtig View Post
Frankie knows that you love him and didn't abandon him. He knows it from the Rainbow Bridge and is watching over you. Forgive yourself and remember the love that you and Frankie shared.
you did what was best for him. to you during this painful time...
post #16 of 20
I am so very sorry to hear about Frankie, he doesn't hate you though, he will be grateful that you were strong enough to put his needs and feelings above your own, and give him that final act of love and kindness that he needed. It can be hard coming to places like this and seeing what other people did with their cats with the same illness, but every person and every cat is different, what worked for some might not have worked for you, and it does sound like you did the kindest thing for him, and that trying to fight it wouldnt' have been. He is now happy and healthy on the bridge waiting till he can see you again. RIP little one, and big hugs to you through this hard time.
post #17 of 20
I'm so sorry for your loss! I know that Frankie passing was devastating for you. He knows that you let him go with grace and love and doesn't blame you for it, but loves you all the more for allowing him to pass with dignity and end his suffering. He's happy and healthy now, and playing over the Rainbow Bridge, and dear Frankie will love forever in your heart. Don't mourn his passing, rejoice in his new existence and the fact that he isn't in pain any longer. Rest peacefully, sweet Frankie!
post #18 of 20
I am so sorry for your loss. One of the hardest things as pet parents we do is to make the loving decision to end the pain and suffering of our beloved furkids. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time and with Frankie, who is running healthy and free at the Rainbow Bridge.

post #19 of 20
Condolences on your sad loss of Frankie. Please don't be so harsh on yourself. The reality was that poor Frankie was suffering, and he didn't feel that needle - only blessed relief from his torment. (I have kidney problems, and believe me, it is so painful, really, one doesn't feel the injections at the time-even when they leave bruising and lumps). Sugar has her buddy Frankie, and they are over RB, playing happily, together again, this time forever in the land of no-goodbyes.
Please know that the rest of us here at TCS are here to support you - we willingly share your pain and the right to grieve over your sad loss of your cat. I hope that you will let us know how you are doing Susan
post #20 of 20
I'm sorry for the loss of your sweet Frankie, remember he is always with you,there are no bad thoughts in Heaven...trust me, he loves you and thanks you for taking his pain away.
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