TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › how to beat extreme shyness?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

how to beat extreme shyness?

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
i basicaly have whats known as a socail phobia but somedays it realy ruins my life.like a few nights ago this atracive women was hiting on me i was so shy i looked at ground and walked away
post #2 of 25
I have the same thing you have. In order to help myself get over horrible shyness, I'd go to somewhere like a library where you're most likely going to be talked to by a stranger, if only for a few seconds. That's what I did, and eventually went on to higher things such as talking to people I don't know at school. Just try taking baby steps.
post #3 of 25
Yeah like moz said it's all in baby steps. Start out slowly with things your comfortable with, then slowly step out of your comfort zone a little at a time.
post #4 of 25
Thread Starter 
i even have trouble going to mail box somedays...
post #5 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by firsttimeowner View Post
i even have trouble going to mail box somedays...
Maybe you have agoraphobia as well?
post #6 of 25
My husband has social anxiety

Our therapist is currently working on getting him on some meds to help cope with it..Maybe see a trusted Dr?
post #7 of 25
Thread Starter 
i see a dr im on zolft and serequel both just drain my wallet lol.i usaly even have trouble makeing my appts.some days are better then others.
post #8 of 25
I used to be like this... to the point I never left the house, I sent my sisters to get things for me.
I walked, head down staring at the pavement when i did go out, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

After we moved here and my sister and i started volunteering at the rescue, I started to come out more.
once I trusted people and felt comfortable with them, then it was fine.. though I still avoided eye contact for the most part, other than a few seconds here and there.

I'm pretty much the same way, other than I can talk to strangers without a problem now.. even though I feel a bit uncomfortable.. I force myself, because usually it's at the rescue. And talking to people sometimes means a kitty getting a home!

So maybe going out with someone you feel comfortable with, and meeting new people slowly that way, and gradually work towards getting better.

Good luck.
post #9 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leto86 View Post
I used to be like this... to the point I never left the house, I sent my sisters to get things for me.
I walked, head down staring at the pavement when i did go out, avoiding eye contact with everyone.

After we moved here and my sister and i started volunteering at the rescue, I started to come out more.
once I trusted people and felt comfortable with them, then it was fine.. though I still avoided eye contact for the most part, other than a few seconds here and there.

I'm pretty much the same way, other than I can talk to strangers without a problem now.. even though I feel a bit uncomfortable.. I force myself, because usually it's at the rescue. And talking to people sometimes means a kitty getting a home!

So maybe going out with someone you feel comfortable with, and meeting new people slowly that way, and gradually work towards getting better.

Good luck.
i do same thing i look at ground when i walk which stinks cause i like to walk but we dont have side walks so im always afraid ill run into something.i just listen to my mp3 player and watch the ground and if i see another walker i do all i can to avoid em. shoping is a nightmare cause i get real nervess when people get to close to me.
post #10 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dixie_Darlin View Post
My husband has social anxiety

Our therapist is currently working on getting him on some meds to help cope with it..Maybe see a trusted Dr?

The wife says i have that or i should say social phobia. and need to smile more, and talk to people. But what she does not understand, is i can do those things but dont want to.

Doctor gave me pills and stuff also, which i just tossed in the trash.

But if you want to go out, then like other have said, go slow, go with friends. Maybe it would nto be a bad idea to visit a doc for some extra help
post #11 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by firsttimeowner View Post
i do same thing i look at ground when i walk which stinks cause i like to walk but we dont have side walks so im always afraid ill run into something.i just listen to my mp3 player and watch the ground and if i see another walker i do all i can to avoid em. shoping is a nightmare cause i get real nervess when people get to close to me.
My husband is the exact same way.. he can't look people in the eye or face when talking to them, his voice is even higher when he's around other people, and he will talk with his hands (if that makes sense), stutters and has a nervous laugh.... it must be frustrating..
post #12 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dixie_Darlin View Post
My husband is the exact same way.. he can't look people in the eye or face when talking to them, his voice is even higher when he's around other people, and he will talk with his hands (if that makes sense), stutters and has a nervous laugh.... it must be frustrating..
its a pain for sure. i miised out on a lot of relation ships in my life because of it.jobs are hard as hect to keep. i am the hardest worker most people know of but i can only work alone.and most pople will assume im a idiot because im so nervess all the time so my unclear thoughts make me seem a lot dumber then i am.
post #13 of 25
I have socail anxiety disorder and agoraphobia. I started taking paxil and klonopin a few months ago and it has helped. I have tried alot of others but none of them seemed to really help and some made the panic attacks worse. Maybe you can get on something to calm your nerves like xanax or klonopin.
post #14 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylacat View Post
I have socail anxiety disorder and agoraphobia. I started taking paxil and klonopin a few months ago and it has helped. I have tried alot of others but none of them seemed to really help and some made the panic attacks worse. Maybe you can get on something to calm your nerves like xanax or klonopin.
was on klonpine it knocked me out. i think i slept like 19 hours on it. i was relaxed though.i thank god for my cat she is so sweet .but sometimes i miss my dog he made me feel secure i kinda knew he wouldnt let no one mess with me was a chow mix and he was very protective of me
post #15 of 25
awww that must be real hard on you - I cannot begin to think how this affects your life, only the bits you´ve mentioned here

Do you know what its related to, you know, what or why you are shy ? I might be going over old ground, cos I suppose your doc. will have discussed this with you.

Do you feel shy coming here ? maybe being part of a forum helps you ?

Sorry so many questions, well anything we can do here to help. I noticed you´ve started a few threads, that is cetainly a positive thing
post #16 of 25
Sorry to hear about this. Its hard to say what the right answer is, but like many have said - baby steps, and professional help.

Try a different Doctor. Seriously. Some are pharmacologists who script meds, others are Freudian and want you to talk about your intrusive thoughts and whatnot. The CBT guy has a different angle and so on and so on.

There are dozens of schools of thought regarding mental-health- and most of it is theory anyway, so just because one person didn't help you does not mean you can't get help. Of course your Dr. will tell you (or make you believe) he has the answers, but in fact he/she does not - you do. Just move on and try again.

Pets are great for that. They don't judge you. What is your skill set? You know there are some jobs that are animal-related, and another option is to figure out something that you could do from home. I'm not telling you to drop-out or anything, but maybe your strengths are not where everyone else expects them to be -

Good luck. Just don't give up.
post #17 of 25
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm kind of in the same situation as you- I do sometimes go shopping only to have to leave because I can't deal with the salespeople and I often avoid talking to other people/telling people what to do at my job because I'm just afraid of them. But I'm also a very social person who loves a good conversation, it just has to be with someone I'm used to!

Anyway, I find the problem with me is that I always think everyone is "better" than me. I'm afraid to say something because I'm sure they'll judge me, so I get all nervous and most often say something stupid, so I feel bad and get more nervous... and it's a never-ending cycle. If it's the same with you, I find that it helps to remind myself that the people I'm talking to are far from perfect and really have better things to do with their lives than concentrate on the silly things I do. And then the more I get to know other people, the more I'm able to understand I'm just like them, and that neither of us is perfect and that's okay.

Anyway, I hope that helps, though I don't know that I made too much sense there.... I do think it's an awful thing to be so shy because it does negatively affect every single part of your life and makes it so difficult to do anything. So I think it's really important as well to congratulate yourself whenever you do something positive, even if it seems small and insignifiant, because every step is important, and every time you take a step you're getting over your fear.
post #18 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by firsttimeowner View Post
i basicaly have whats known as a socail phobia but somedays it realy ruins my life.like a few nights ago this atracive women was hiting on me i was so shy i looked at ground and walked away
Hey.. I have that, plust General Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder...along with severe depression......
First off, do you go to a therapist/phsychologist/physchiatrist? If not, I strongly suggest you get to one, soon. They're a great help, and sometimes medication can help you, also.

I've gotten over my social phobia for the most part... Please, be strong, get to a therapist if you haven't already. I know you can do it - I did (I'm younger than you, too, I'll bet... as in teen years).

Best wishes to you. And just know- you're not alone, ever!!
post #19 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylacat View Post
I have socail anxiety disorder and agoraphobia. I started taking paxil and klonopin a few months ago and it has helped. I have tried alot of others but none of them seemed to really help and some made the panic attacks worse. Maybe you can get on something to calm your nerves like xanax or klonopin.
Yes, I take that, also... it helps a bunch
post #20 of 25
I am shy, but not to the point of social anxiety. There is this class you can take, its given by the Dale Carnegie place. It helps people overcome their fears about shyness and interact with people better. It works too! Its not cheap though. But worth it! And there's no meds involved.
post #21 of 25
Thread Starter 
thank you all for the kind replys..today i wanted to go to store but never made but im lucky that i always have plenty of food in the house.just had a craveing for mashed potatoes
post #22 of 25
A lot of caffiene. You'll be so hyper you'll have to move and talk to people

I use to be very shy and sometimes still have my moments. I can't socialize a lot everyday. If I see and talk to a lot of people (that are friends) 3 days in a row, I have to take a couple of days off where I don't talk to anyone unless I have to. Lately that hasn't been the case...I haven't felt overwhelmed.

Anyhoo, like everyone else has mentioned, its baby steps. There's no known cure...even medicine can help, but not all the time.

Good luck!
post #23 of 25
Thread Starter 
opps i also forgot to say thank you for the ice cream that was real kind of ya
post #24 of 25
Can you get access to a therapist as a lot of people find a short course of CBT (cognitive behavioural Therapy) very helpful
post #25 of 25
I'm very extremely shy too, but the weird thing for me I'm not with romantic interests, just EVERYONE else. Like even my family.. It's very hard for me to make and then keep platonic friendships because I'm so "backwards" about it all. And a lot of people view it as me being snooty or "too good" for everyone, but really it's just my low self esteem that stops me from talking to people. I hate being thought of as a b&#$ tho! I would love to change that.

But I am sorta anti meds (for myself) so I'm trying all I can to avoid them..
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › how to beat extreme shyness?