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I need advise...quickly

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
ok so some of you know about Ms. Nuit the newish aggressive cat I've had for 2 months or so. I put up an add on Craigslist, and told about her personality quirks as well. To be honest I wasn't really expecting many responses or any really.
An 18 yr old girl responded, and said she had a cat like that previously (tough to handle)and also she's too much of an animal lover to be an irresponsible pet owner. She doesn't have any other pets and said is more then willing to give her the time she needs to adjust. I'm just about 24 and I know I was a responsible pet owner at that age but I don't know of too many other people are. Am I over reacting? I'm just scared about her going to another home. Any responses would be appreciated.
post #2 of 25
I would suggest that you check with her vet to make sure, I dont know if I am trusting enough to let a cat go to a stranger without doing some checking first.
post #3 of 25
Thread Starter 
I think the cat was more the family cat then hers, Should i check the vet anyways?she might come over to visit with her tomorrow just to see. i'm not sure. I feel really sad about the possibility of her going somewhere else.
post #4 of 25
Well, hard times are hard times but I think giving your cat to this girl would make this girl happy, and you should be happy too

It's not like a football game when 1 side loses and cries and the other screams and feels high (rimes? ) - here you are in a situation where both sides "win", so you should be happy, and I know it's probably deep-down tough for you but you're doing the right thing, you should really be happy with what you do. Wtg!
post #5 of 25
You said that "she had a cat"...what happened to it? You might want to consider that before making a decision. Did she give it up? Did she put it to sleep? Was it an outdoor cat and got lost or killed?

Go with your gut. If you think the girl is too young and probably not as responsible as you might like, then wait and find someone else.

I know when I was 18 as much as I loved pets and did the best for them, I had to give them away to someone else in the end because life is hectic at age 18 years old.

She may decide to go to college and live on campus...where will the cat go because she wouldn't be able to take the cat with her. What will happen to the cat?

Cats are like children. They need time and attention and it's a real committment...for life! Being 18 and a "Mom" is a difficult thing. Granted cats don't require as much work as actual children do, but it's still a committment. Is it one that she's prepared to make for better or worse for the lifetime of the cat?
post #6 of 25
At least you'd know how her family took care of their pets. Ask for a couple of personal references, too- even if they give you a glowing report, you'll have some idea of the kind of people she gives for her references (read as: hangs out with- whether or not they are mature, sensible sounding people, etc. My vet has been one of my references when I've been looking at adopting anyways )

Meet with her, let her be around the cat, see how they do- just make it clear that she won't be taking her home this trip- if the references and vet all check out, and the meeting goes well, you can tell her to bring her cat carrier as soon as she likes. If it doesn't, just say you have to think on things (or if you haven't finished the reference checking yet, that you have to do that), and then tell her over the phone later that it isn't going to work out (this is a safety precaution, especially if you will be alone with her ).
post #7 of 25
Thread Starter 
well I just emailed her about references and questions about the past cat, and this response hasn't been as quick as the last few. It's tough cuz I don't want to give her to the first person that comes around but she's gonna be so hard to rehome and she's not happy with all the other cat here & being a bully on top of it to my other kitties. I want her to be in lasting home, she's 7 and 1/2 yrs old and she's been through more change in the past 3 months then she has in her whole life.
post #8 of 25
I think you need to do what your heart is telling you to do.
post #9 of 25
One thing I would require is that if she still lives at home that the whole family come and meet the cat first. We occasionally would get young adults in that were looking to adopt and assured us it was fine with the family...but had actually never asked their parents permission or knew their parents wouldn’t be ok with it. If they found out they couldn’t get one from a shelter that screens, I imagine they would be smart enough to go some place else that wouldn’t ask questions. (This is also something you want to go over with her if she is in college and moves home for summers.)

I would be very leery if she did not want you to talk to her parents (or landlord).

I wish you the best of luck finding a good home. I know it is frustrating and you might get a few bad apples before you find the right person, but it will be well worth it.
post #10 of 25
Thread Starter 
She's not living at home anymore. She has her own place with a boyfriend & I guess they've been talking about getting a cat. (then what happens if they part?) So many things to think about yikes.....
post #11 of 25
Thread Starter 
And I don't even know what my heart is telling me half telling me one thing the other half telling another.
post #12 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladycat View Post
And I don't even know what my heart is telling me half telling me one thing the other half telling another.
Just wait until she comes to see the cat, then go from there, first impressions always mean a lot to me. You can tell a lot about people just by their first impression.
post #13 of 25
Ladycat, I don't mean to sound like the voice of doom and gloom, but I'd rethink considering this young lady...at 18, she may be capable and willing to care for a cat, but my main concern would be...for how long? Until she and her boyfriend split up, and go their separate ways, and she can't find the token cat-friendly apartment? Or, she decides to go to college, she and boyfriend split up, and she moves into the dorms? And, is it financially viable for an 18 year-old splitting the rent and bills with a boyfriend to afford veterinary care, food, emergencies, etc. that accompany a cat?

I think I'd find someone whose life is a bit more stable and consistent at this point, but it is entirely up to you.
post #14 of 25
Thread Starter 
Certainly not the voice of doom & gloom, those are my big concerns right now. Part of me wants to meet her & see but the rest of me is hearing all that in my head.
post #15 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladycat View Post
Certainly not the voice of doom & gloom, those are my big concerns right now. Part of me wants to meet her & see but the rest of me is hearing all that in my head.

Just meet her and go from there, you never know, but if you have any doubts after you meet her, then you know what you gotta do.
post #16 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladycat View Post
Certainly not the voice of doom & gloom, those are my big concerns right now. Part of me wants to meet her & see but the rest of me is hearing all that in my head.

Also it wouldn't hurt to tell her that you hafta meet her boyfriend too, after all he is gonna be around the cat too.

Remember to keep us updated on the situation.
post #17 of 25
Thread Starter 
well I guess I just wait till tomorrow and see if she writes back or calls after I asked for references.
thanks everyone
post #18 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladycat View Post
well I guess I just wait till tomorrow and see if she writes back or calls after I asked for references.
thanks everyone

I am sending hugs and prayers from Mississippi that everything goes ok, just remember that we are all here ready to help you out with advice.

post #19 of 25
Thread Starter 
thanks, sweet of you
post #20 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladycat View Post
thanks, sweet of you
No problem, in case you don't know by now, I really really really like to hug.

post #21 of 25
Thread Starter 
your a doll!
post #22 of 25
Thread Starter 
"I would take the bus if I had money for it, but I don't carry cash, and the ATMs only give you 20's and it's pretty much impossible to find a place that'll break them for you without buying something. Anyway, I can't imagine meeting her and then not wanting her, so I don't really see the need to bother you, you know? If you have a carrier, I can meet you at the mall and bring her home from there, I live extremely close to the mall. Either way, it's up to you."


Yeh ok I think this pretty much made up my mind, sounds a bit sketchy to me. I did a bach's herbal remedy that calmed her down a bit...I see hope...I always end up seeing hope with her. Why can't people just take the time if they really want or can care for a pet but apparently she can't care for a pet anyways. Geez people really frustrate me sometimes.....
post #23 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladycat View Post
"I would take the bus if I had money for it, but I don't carry cash, and the ATMs only give you 20's and it's pretty much impossible to find a place that'll break them for you without buying something. Anyway, I can't imagine meeting her and then not wanting her, so I don't really see the need to bother you, you know? If you have a carrier, I can meet you at the mall and bring her home from there, I live extremely close to the mall. Either way, it's up to you."


Yeh ok I think this pretty much made up my mind, sounds a bit sketchy to me. I did a bach's herbal remedy that calmed her down a bit...I see hope...I always end up seeing hope with her. Why can't people just take the time if they really want or can care for a pet but apparently she can't care for a pet anyways. Geez people really frustrate me sometimes.....

I think you are right, the girl sounds like her elevator doesn't stop at all the floors.

I would be real careful with her.
post #24 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladycat View Post
"I would take the bus if I had money for it, but I don't carry cash, and the ATMs only give you 20's and it's pretty much impossible to find a place that'll break them for you without buying something. Anyway, I can't imagine meeting her and then not wanting her, so I don't really see the need to bother you, you know? If you have a carrier, I can meet you at the mall and bring her home from there, I live extremely close to the mall. Either way, it's up to you."


Yeh ok I think this pretty much made up my mind, sounds a bit sketchy to me. I did a bach's herbal remedy that calmed her down a bit...I see hope...I always end up seeing hope with her. Why can't people just take the time if they really want or can care for a pet but apparently she can't care for a pet anyways. Geez people really frustrate me sometimes.....
She doesn't have transportation, doesn't have a carrier, and will pick up a cat site unseen as long as you deliver her half way??? Run away from this as fast as you can!!! This smells of someone collecting cats for sale to labs.
post #25 of 25
Thread Starter 
yeh, i think I'm gonna see if how she does for a bit long & do some more experimenting for some herbal remedies! I just wrote in another thread...but she was actually hanging out on the bed with one of my other cats after this stuff!!!
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