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Male Cats/Female Cats & Affection

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
Someone is trying to convince me that male cats are (generally) more affectionate than female. I've personally found this to be more a character trait specific to each cat, rather than a generalization according to gender. Any thoughts?
post #2 of 29
This has been addressed many times in here. Technically each cat is an individual. But i've owned cats since a teenager (25+ years) and with my males (neutered or not) they were much more loving, affectionate, outgoing then any of the females (spayed or not). I bred cornish rexes - all the kits were raised the same way - the males just had more outgoing loving personalities.

That's why I had better luck showing males vs. females
post #3 of 29
Hi there,
Well, one of my Cousin's had told me that too. But, she had only had one male. Then, a Lady who has had quite a few cats told me that it is an individual thing-I believe the Lady, because she has had so many different cats. Hope I helped!
post #4 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
This has been addressed many times in here.
Sorry... sometimes I'm bad at finding old threads that might have already answered my question. Please everyone, carry on!
post #5 of 29
No problem answering again.
post #6 of 29
Well, IMO, it has nothing to do with sex, it all has to do with personality, the way they were raised, basically environmental factors. You can have a feral male & a feral female & they will both be equally upset around people. Whereas you can have a snuggly, wonderful female & the same in a male. My Damita is the most wonderful cat you'll ever(or never) meet....everyone comments on how she is the most friendly cat in the world. Believe it or not, she was born feral. Environmental factors changed at 3 years & she got to be incredibly friendly.
post #7 of 29
Ok explain then why my male rexes were more outgoing then the females when they ALL were raised the same way....
post #8 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
Ok explain then why my male rexes were more outgoing then the females when they ALL were raised the same way....
From my experince, it is still all personality. Maybe males are much more likely to have a certain personality than females. You might not even know it, but maybe someone(the momma cat, you, other people) are doing something slightly different. ....shrugs.... My experience is also with moggies, not pedigrees....although I don't think that would matter. I am a firm believer that it is the way they are raised & other environmental factors!

As a side note----It just irks me when people come in to adopt & insist on a certain sex, then insist on taking home a cat who is ill-fitted to them just because that cat is the "right" sex, doesn't mean it's the right cat for them.
post #9 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by white cat lover View Post
As a side note----It just irks me when people come in to adopt & insist on a certain sex, then insist on taking home a cat who is ill-fitted to them just because that cat is the "right" sex, doesn't mean it's the right cat for them.
Ah, I was going to be that kind of person. I went to the Humane Society looking for two cats who would get along well with each other, preferably female because I've really only been familiar with female cats (and in my twisted world, all cats are female and all dogs are male. How we end up with puppies and kittens I don't know.) But then I ended up falling in love with my little ones, and it's just me and the boys now! Guess I'll need to revise my weird animal world view now...
post #10 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pekoe & Nigel View Post
Ah, I was going to be that kind of person. I went to the Humane Society looking for two cats who would get along well with each other, preferably female because I've really only been familiar with female cats (and in my twisted world, all cats are female and all dogs are male. How we end up with puppies and kittens I don't know.) But then I ended up falling in love with my little ones, and it's just me and the boys now! Guess I'll need to revise my weird animal world view now...
That's not exactly you. I've have had people stand & argue with me & swear at me because they wanted a sex...when they found that cat it was not a fit for them. We will not adopt out a cat only to have it come back because it isn't a right fit for the family.

You must've been open to the idea of boys, since you brought home two of them!
post #11 of 29
I know just what you mean, P&N! I've also had to overcome that cats are feminine, dogs are masculine mindset.

About the original question: we have three boys and three girls in our family, and for us, it's the girls who are the biggest lovebugs. Even our feral rescue, Abby, has become a snuggler with the two people she's learned to trust!

However, our boys are very loving as well -- it's just got to be on their terms. Kinda like their human counterparts.
post #12 of 29
IMO it seems to be more of an individual cat personality more than a gender issue. I have had two males and two females so far. Our current resident male (Luvbug) lives up to his name (He was a semi feral) and our current eldest female (Kuce) is also very affectionate. It seems to be (at this point) equal on the affection scale. Sorry if this doesn't help any.
post #13 of 29
From my experience, if we're talking about cat to people relationships, then it's a very individual thing...not related to sex, just personality.

If we're talking about cat to cat relationships, then I would say that boys are more affectionate and friendly. I have 5 girls and 3 boys. If I brought a strange kitty in here right now, I can almost guarantee that all 5 girls will hiss and growl and NONE of my boys would. My boys always take on the momma role with new babies and are just curious and friendly with new adult cats.
post #14 of 29
My experience with both is a single female is more personable if an only cat, but also possessive of your attention and or timid, shy with other people. The great thing about cats is how different each one is, always something new!
post #15 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by white cat lover View Post
From my experince, it is still all personality. Maybe males are much more likely to have a certain personality than females. You might not even know it, but maybe someone(the momma cat, you, other people) are doing something slightly different. ....shrugs.... My experience is also with moggies, not pedigrees....although I don't think that would matter. I am a firm believer that it is the way they are raised & other environmental factors!

As a side note----It just irks me when people come in to adopt & insist on a certain sex, then insist on taking home a cat who is ill-fitted to them just because that cat is the "right" sex, doesn't mean it's the right cat for them.
i went to humane society set on getting a male cat because i do believe from past experiences that in general male cats are way more affectionate, but i would never had let that be the ONLY deciding factor and i did wind up taking home a female kitten who is very affectionate.... but not as affectionate as if she were a male. im not saying female cats are not affectionate, or that no one female cat can ever be more affectionate than any one male cat. but just as a general rule.
post #16 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaycee View Post
i did wind up taking home a female kitten who is very affectionate.... but not as affectionate as if she were a male. im not saying female cats are not affectionate, or that no one female cat can ever be more affectionate than any one male cat. but just as a general rule.
I've had and been around some female cats that were very affectionate, almost too much so (they'd glue themselves to your hip if they could). But they always seem to have little quirks. I believe half of the odd attitude that people attribute to torties is just because they're females. Then again, we all have our odd grouchy moods too!

I prefer boy kitties and have found them to have more outgoing personalities, female kitties usually assess the situation a bit first. I've also noticed sister cats or mother to daughter make better bonds then just adding another female to one that's older.

In the end, if you love your kitty it doesn't matter what sex it is.
post #17 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
I know just what you mean, P&N! I've also had to overcome that cats are feminine, dogs are masculine
Well I'm glad I'm not the only one! I've had people look at me really strangely when I've shared this theory. I've had to learn to keep my mouth shut....

Thanks for all your awesome replies. I find the cat/human and cat/cat relationships to be fascinating.
post #18 of 29
I am totally male biased, probably because in a large cat household, it is much easier to manage a lot of males than females. When females don't get along, they get very spiteful with each other. When males don't get along, they find their own space to reside in.

Because I'm male biased, I always thought they were more lovers than females. But I do have 2 females, 1 of which is my little love bug, equal to the affection that I get from the males. The other female is a love bug for my husband. So I've changed my opinion over the years and attribute it to their individual personalities over their gender.
post #19 of 29
My Mother-in law says that male cats bond the female humans more and vise versa. And, actually that is the truth in our house. My 2 male cats are MY babies, and the females are more drawn to my husband. That doesn't mean they won't go to the other, but who they prefer to be around is males w/ me, females w/ my husband. I don't know if this is typical...maybe they are picking up on pheromones or something? (the Males are neutered..we still have to get 2 of the females spayed but they are inside. We're just saving up the money to get them fixed). I think a lot has to do with the personality though.
post #20 of 29
My male cat is much more friendly and loving towards me, my husband, and anyone else than my female cat is. But I've only had 2 cats so I can't really draw any conclusions from that.
post #21 of 29
This was also true of all my male - female mixed breeds. My males just were far more outgoing and friendly no matter if purebred or not. And they were different ages when adopted - kitten to full grown.

Ling (from our barn cats) chose us to stay. I honestly wanted to keep her brother because they have better personalitys. But Ling (5 weeks old) was insistant on staying - she was loud, mouthy and first one to sit at your feet and screem at you till picked up.

However, as an adult cat she is not a lap cat, hates to be held more then a minute and will lay with you when SHE choses to do so. Charlie on the other hand, loves the attention, the cuddles, and snuggling on your lap playing.

That's why when we wanted an ocicat - we insisted on male vs female. Ling's personality says she would not tolerate another female in the house.

When I was looking for a new household pet to join the family, I was looking at male cats - got a very laid back red tabby/white male who was a lovebug.

IMO I'd choose male over female every time. Now with dogs - its the oppisite - females dogs are nicer then males in most cases
post #22 of 29
I love the variety of reactions in this thread!

I've heard the male being more friendly than females rumor, too. There is just such a wide variety of environments, way they were raised, cat to cat dynamics, that it's near impossible to be scientific about the whole thing!

My own personal, biased experienced is that the males in my house are more 'immediately' affectionate than the females. One of my male kitties, Bubba, will literally THROW himself down on your feet and demand to be petted. Another of my males, Pounce, refuses to let you sleep alone. And the last male in my house, Puffball, will follow you around, yowling until you pay attention to him.

The two girsl, however, don't demand attention in the same way. If you're sitting quietly, they will definately come up to you and rub their face against yours, and they're likely to just curl up at the end of the couch - to be near you, rather than on top of you

This has also reinforced my belief that male cats are big, bumbling lumps of fur (I mean this in the sweetest, loving way possible!), and the female are the more delicate, intelligent cats
post #23 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momofmany View Post
I am totally male biased, probably because in a large cat household, it is much easier to manage a lot of males than females. When females don't get along, they get very spiteful with each other. When males don't get along, they find their own space to reside in.
Oh, so they're just like people then??
post #24 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pekoe & Nigel View Post
Oh, so they're just like people then??
Wait a minute, thats what I think about female cats!
post #25 of 29
My males have generally been more loving. I had never had a female cat that was really loving until the 3 I have now came along. Pepper and Fluffy have been little love bugs since I rescued them, and recently Pearl can't seem to get enough cuddles. Scooter, my only male right now, has recently become a little cuddle monster, but he is still not nearly as affectionate as most of my past males.
I often wonder what goes on in those fuzzy littl heads.
post #26 of 29
I was told for years by my best friend that male cats were more loving than females.
There has been in a cat...or more...in my life from the day I was born.
All those cats were female, so I never had an experiance with male cats.
The cat I was raised with was the biggest sweetheart in the world.
Then I got Maggie, again another lover.
After Maggie passed away, I called this friend because I knew that a pregnant female had shown up on her doorstep several months before I asked if the kittens were ready and she said they were.
Two females and a male, she tried to talk me into taking the male again telling me how sweet male cats are.
I wouldn't hear of it, I'd always had female cats and they'd always been very loving.
So I took both of the females, Gracie loves to cuddle and wants to sit on your lap loves to be carried around and her Sister Lizzie could care less if she even looks at you...as long as you feed her that's all she cares about.
Took in a stray female...Annabelle...she's not fond of woman...we believe she was abused and the abuser was a woman, she LOVES men.
She cuddles with my Husband, she'll let me pet her IF she comes to me.
I can't make any moves to pet her or pick her up, she runs away.

Enter Elliott another stray and our first male cat.
I almost didn't take him in because he was male...I was SO scared that he was going to spray all over my house... we moved into our new home and three days later I saw him and loved him instantly...he's pure white and made me think so much of our sweet Maggie.
I came here looking for advice about my fears of him spraying and the fact that I couldn't get him out of my head...I guess I just wanted someone to tell me to follow my heart and bring him in and that he wasn't going to spray my entire house.

He had some issues with the girls at first and especially with Gracie..all those things have resolved themselves.
BUT, he is a big pile of mush.
He loves everyone, he's always sitting on someones lap or wanting someone to pick him up, he does the headbutt thing.
He's an absoulate doll.

So basically I wrote a book to tell you that I don't think that males are necessarily more loving than females I think it just depends on the personality of the cat.
post #27 of 29
I haven't owned that many cats (I'm not that old), but I have been through my fair share (whether they were technically mine or my parents) and it seems that a lot of female cats can be affectionate and what-not, but are more wanting to give it on their terms. The male cats I've known just sort of take it whenever you want to give it and thus seem more affectionate. If that makes sense. I think I said that wrong. ^__^'
post #28 of 29
I've had several cats over many years, and currently we have Dusty (should have called her Velcro), a stray that adopted us about 2 years ago. She is absolutely the most affectionate kitty I've ever had, though she is a two person cat (me and my husband). I think it is more about personality than gender. I also think strays and rescues are more affectionate because they are so grateful to have a loving home and regular meals!

post #29 of 29
I've had several male cats who were very affectionate, pretty much all the time, any time. My only female cat Alley (RIP) was more aloof and independent. She could be VERY affectionate, but it was on her terms and her time schedule. She hated being picked up and she was never a lap cat. Most of the time she slept at the foot of my bed, but when she was in the mood, she would snuggle up next to me, kneading the blankets, and want petted for hours it seemed! Then when she was done, she'd go back to the foot of the bed.
She was the most loving cat I ever owned, it was just on her terms, not mine
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