Kids calling adults by their first name...

theimp98 · Feb 8, 2007

dont really care on way or another. but when it comes to kids in the class room. the teadcher should always be called by there last name.

I hate it when i go to a business and they call me by my first name however.

lol i think i get more annoyed living overseas and all the kids would call me uncle.
but that is asia

jakkies · Feb 9, 2007

It used to be easy when I was a kid, everyone was Aunt or Uncle. It was a sign of respect in its own way and you knew you were liked when you were allowed to say Aunt Susan

But it doesn't translate very well from my native language so it probably sounds a bit weird. I don't really know many older kids but I think we'll teach Kenneth to ask first how he may address an adult and then take it from there. I agree though that teachers should be addressed mr./mrs./ms.

These things can be complicated depending on your culture and a lot of people just make it easy by doing the first name thing.

lsulover · Feb 9, 2007

Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

I was born and raised a southern belle- with manners. I can't stand it when kids are disrespectful and call their parents and other adults by their first name! It is a complete lack of respect and manners in my book and i do not tolerate it. In my family and all of the other ones around here- it's "yes mam, no mam, please, thankyou, mr. so and so, mrs. so and so, miss. so and so." I still say yes mam/sir to my mom and to colin's family as well as many others- it just shows respect. I usually call Colin's mom/dad mr. or mrs. green or "mom/dad". When i see children calling their parents by their first name- i definitely think that the parents are to blame for not teaching their children about respect and manners. All of my nieces and nephews call me Aunt Lydia (my first name) and say yes mam and no mam. We raised them with manners- and they are some of the most polite and mannerly kids you could ever want to be around. They also pull out chairs and open doors for people. When a child is raised to respect their elders and be polite and mannerly- it shows in all aspects of their life. In the South...at least around here- manners are important and most people teach them to their children around here. I like it that way. When Colin and I have children (if we're able to) we will definitely teach them to say yes mam and no mama, please and thankyou- things like that.

Great post, I agree with you, children do need to be taught respect.

ryn · Feb 9, 2007

I'd feel very akward if someone, kid or adult, called me Ms. So and so. I guess it's a language thing. In modern Finnish you just don't call anyone by their last name unless the occation is very formal. Men may sometimes call their friends by their last name, but without the Mr., it's more of an "us guys" thing then.

I know ie. Germany and France are quite differend in that respect. Every language and culture has their own ways of showing respect, I suppose I'd be quite ok, if an American kid addressed me Ms., but I definately wouldn't expect it.

clairebear · Feb 9, 2007

I think it's more than the "title" that makes a child know that you are an authority figure. If you raise a child right they will treat any adult with respect regardless of what thier told to call them. Personally I don't like when kids use a title and last name when addressing me. It feels less personal.

gingersmom · Feb 9, 2007

Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom

Slightly related question: Do you guys get ma'am alot? I look about 16, and am about 22... and I've been called ma'am for years. Is it just me?

As I am hitting 40 this weekend, it has only recently started happening that folks are calling me ma'am, which makes me NUTS! I'm not that old, I totally HATE being called ma'am! It's slang for Madame, and a Madame I am not, LOL!

I use that term only when I am dealing with a really nasty female customer on the phone - that's when I get ultra polite and start invoking the ma'am term.

annabelle33 · Feb 9, 2007

I definitely prefer being called by my first name by everyone. Even kids. Probably not my kids if I ever had any. If I were a teacher it would be different. My mom IS a teacher and has always told my friends to call her by her first name..

epona · Feb 9, 2007

I nearly keeled over laughing today. We have a volunteer in the office, a fairly young Polish man who helps out on Fridays, who asked me today 'is it alright if I go home now miss?'

I have always called my parents by their first names - and it hasn't done me any harm.

phenomsmom · Feb 9, 2007

I used first names. Or Miss/Ms/Mrs, Mr first name. Most of my friends parents didn't like to be called by their last names. And I don't like it either. And I don't like to be galled Ma'am either.

larussa · Feb 9, 2007

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

There is an increasing trend for children to address adults by their first names, instead of a title and surname.

I believe it is a sign of respect for a child to use an adult's title and surname, even if it is only because the person is an adult. I think it reminds the child that this person is not his/her buddy, and should not be treated the same way.

Our daughter has been taught to use titles and surnames, and several of her friends' moms have whispered to me that they really like and appreciate it. I cringe when an 8 year-old calls me by my first name. I don't say anything, because I feel that is the parents' choice.

Some of our daughter's friends have caught on, though, by hearing the way my daughter addresses their parents, and they address me with my title and last name.

A school not far from here is touting the fact that the children call the teachers by their first names... they are using this as a selling point. Why do we want children to feel we are on an equal basis? We aren't. We are the authority figures!

How do you feel about a child you don't really know (you haven't given permission) addressing you by your first name?

Cheers, from
SwampWitch

You have said it all, most kids today are just not brought up the way they should be and yes the parents are to blame.

4badcats · Feb 9, 2007

I always used to use Mrs/Mr Whatever - it is a sign of respect.

My kids friends call me Louise now - for about the past year, now that they are all young adults and I don't have an issue with this. I used to giggle when they were very young - as my surname is different to the boys' and is a little unusual, my eldests' best friend always used to refer to me as 'Mrs James's Mum'!!!!

Bless him - now aged almost 16, he cringes with embarassment at this!!!

tricias_petz · Feb 9, 2007

I always call adults by their first names.. Never have called anyone Ms. Or Mr. or whatever! I don't know why, I just have never done it!

hopehacker · Feb 9, 2007

I just HATE it when kids call me by a title. I even HATE it when my nieces and nephews call me Aunt Hope. I would much rather they treat me as an equal. I don't want to live up to all of that "adult responsibility" stuff. Basically, they all do call me Hope, only one of them tries to pull that Aunt Hope stuff, and I put her straight right off. She knows I don't like it, but I think she does it, to make me feel old, and to make herself feel young. She's the adult daughter of my older sister, and believe me, she's adult enough that she's no youngster. I basically grew up with her. Now, if I was a mother, I would expect my children to call me Mom, Mum, or Mother and NOT my first name.

silentnate · Feb 9, 2007

Originally Posted by LaRussa

You have said it all, most kids today are just not brought up the way they should be and yes the parents are to blame.

I was brought up to call my parents by their first names and always have, it does not mean I respect them any more or less. As I get older I respect the fact that they treated me as an adult (with all the responsibilities that went with it)

auntsewissa · Feb 9, 2007

About 7 years ago, my parents had a man from Bolivia to help with their construction company. He new very little English (he was in his early 40's). Over time he picked up English and now is quite good. He still, to this day, insists on calling my Dad "Mister". My Dad helped him get his permanent working visa for America, helped him navigate the complicated immigration system, and get a business license. Out of respect Jose refuses to call my Dad anything other than "Mister" even though my Dad told him to call him Ron. My parents went to Bolivia during X-mas and stayed with Jose's family (it was the first time in 7 years Jose was able to go back and visit his family). To all of Jose's relatives and friends, he introduced my parents as "this is Mister, and this is Ms Jeanie". My Dad doesn't correct him anymore

hilda>^..^< · Feb 9, 2007

Originally Posted by AuntSewissa

About 7 years ago, my parents had a man from Bolivia to help with their construction company. He new very little English (he was in his early 40's). Over time he picked up English and now is quite good. He still, to this day, insists on calling my Dad "Mister". My Dad helped him get his permanent working visa for America, helped him navigate the complicated immigration system, and get a business license. Out of respect Jose refuses to call my Dad anything other than "Mister" even though my Dad told him to call him Ron. My parents went to Bolivia during X-mas and stayed with Jose's family (it was the first time in 7 years Jose was able to go back and visit his family). To all of Jose's relatives and friends, he introduced my parents as "this is Mister, and this is Ms Jeanie". My Dad doesn't correct him anymore

Great story

...thanks so much for sharing it!
Hilda >^..^<

starryeyedtiger · Feb 9, 2007

Originally Posted by AuntSewissa

About 7 years ago, my parents had a man from Bolivia to help with their construction company. He new very little English (he was in his early 40's). Over time he picked up English and now is quite good. He still, to this day, insists on calling my Dad "Mister". My Dad helped him get his permanent working visa for America, helped him navigate the complicated immigration system, and get a business license. Out of respect Jose refuses to call my Dad anything other than "Mister" even though my Dad told him to call him Ron. My parents went to Bolivia during X-mas and stayed with Jose's family (it was the first time in 7 years Jose was able to go back and visit his family). To all of Jose's relatives and friends, he introduced my parents as "this is Mister, and this is Ms Jeanie". My Dad doesn't correct him anymore

That is very sweet!

I love hearing stories like that!

auntsewissa · Feb 9, 2007

Want to hear something funny about that story that I left out

My Dad originally picked Jose up from 7-11 to hire him as a laborer, (in the northern Va area, that's what construction people do, b/c there is not enough laborer's in the area for the demand, and "hiring" illegal aliens is what company's do now). Anyway, this last Thanksgiving Jose joined us for holiday dinner. My Dad asked him how the business is doing (my parents are no longer in the Northern Va area, so they don't see Jose much anymore). Jose said "Oh Mister, it's great, now I go to 7-11 to hire help!!!!!" We all died laughing! Such irony!

My Dad also told Jose when he got his work permant "You must pay taxes. No taxes, no America" And now he pays taxes and SS. So when he retires to Bolivia, he can collect SS and support is family. $1 in Bolivia is $8-$10 in the USA.

fats mcgee · Feb 9, 2007

I always called them Mr/Ms. ______ and so did my bro and sis.

I hate even as an "adult" when people ASSUME it's okay to call me by my first name. When I worked in retail and had to wear a name tag I hated it when people would come up and say "HI [pause while reading name tag] Paige... could you help me find...."

You don't KNOW me so don't assume it's okay to call me by my first name. It's just rude and I haven't even introduced myself. I just hated it.

crazyforinfo · Feb 9, 2007

My mom got divorced when I was 2 and took her maiden name back. My friends kept using my last name instead of her's. She finally just told them to call her by her first name. Since I grew up hearing my friends say "fran" I have a hard time using Mr or Mrs. I didn't know what to call my MIL for the longest time. I hate her first name and she is also divorced but kept the name. About 12 years later I finally called her by her first name.

Kids calling adults by their first name...

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