An Update on the baby

I agree with what the others have said: at this point a lawyer is in order. You already have the support of Ambers parents for being the father of Kaelyn and right now they're considered the legal guardian since Stan will not sign the birth certificate.

It was wise not to sign it until some paperwork is drawn up. Then later *if* Stan changed his mind, things could get a little hairy. You may have to get him to sign something giving up any rights he wants as a father too. This will protect Kaelyn from ever having to be fathered by that jerk when she has a perfectly wonderful person to be her father.

As for your dream, I really believe that Amber was visiting you and saying her goodbye. You two really had a wonderful connection and she was telling you that shes fine now. She will always be there as she will live on through Kaelyn.

Now to the happier moment of Kaelyn's first poop: CONGRATS! The firsts are only going to get better.

Here's to the first poop of many!

John,

You're doing such a good job with all of this. Me, I'd be in bed unable to deal with a single thing.

I'd consult a lawyer...since the person with the most rights is unfortunately going to be Stan (Amber's family will have the next biggest say), you may end up having to convince the biological family to put her up for adoption and then you would adopt her and be her legal father. It sounds like you will have a lot of support from AMber's family, which is a blessing.

Originally Posted by lionessrampant

John,

You're doing such a good job with all of this. Me, I'd be in bed unable to deal with a single thing.

I'd consult a lawyer...since the person with the most rights is unfortunately going to be Stan (Amber's family will have the next biggest say), you may end up having to convince the biological family to put her up for adoption and then you would adopt her and be her legal father. It sounds like you will have a lot of support from AMber's family, which is a blessing.

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I absolutely 100% agree with this. You must get a lawyer, and obtain something in writing from Stan that states that he is signing over parental rights over to you...since he seems disinteresting in involving himself with Kaelyn, hopefully it won't be too difficult for him to agree to. I would probably do this ASAP, as you never know when Stan will try to change his mind, simply out of spite or anger. This is a lot to think about right at this moment...I completely understand. Please know that we are here for you in every way.

John, I wanted to ask you, since the baby was premature...do you have everything you need for the baby once she is ready to come home? Crib? Clothing? Carseat? Formula, bottles, nipples, diaper bag... diapers/wipes/blankies/etc.? A lot of people wait until very late into the pregnancy to buy this necessities...so I was curious if you're all set for her to come home with you when she's strong and healthy enough, especially since she arrived early?

If you do have some immediate needs for the baby, please let us know...did Amber have a baby shower, and get some items from friends and family? If not, perhaps some of us on TCS could band together and give you some help...
Don't be afraid to ask!

Thank you for the update - I'm glad her tummy is starting to take up it's job.

You and Lava Girl remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Originally Posted by wookie130

I absolutely 100% agree with this. You must get a lawyer, and obtain something in writing from Stan that states that he is signing over parental rights over to you...since he seems disinteresting in involving himself with Kaelyn, hopefully it won't be too difficult for him to agree to. I would probably do this ASAP, as you never know when Stan will try to change his mind, simply out of spite or anger. This is a lot to think about right at this moment...I completely understand. Please know that we are here for you in every way.

John, I wanted to ask you, since the baby was premature...do you have everything you need for the baby once she is ready to come home? Crib? Clothing? Carseat? Formula, bottles, nipples, diaper bag... diapers/wipes/blankies/etc.? A lot of people wait until very late into the pregnancy to buy this necessities...so I was curious if you're all set for her to come home with you when she's strong and healthy enough, especially since she arrived early?

If you do have some immediate needs for the baby, please let us know...did Amber have a baby shower, and get some items from friends and family? If not, perhaps some of us on TCS could band together and give you some help...
Don't be afraid to ask!

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Thanks for asking this. Nikki also asked about stuff we need. I guess I will just list things that we have so far. If anyone knows of anything else please let me know. I cant think. I went and looked thru all the baby stuff Amber has collected over the months.

Things we have
Crib
Bassinette hmm I think thats what they are called
2 4 in 1 baby car seats
Diaper Genie
Tons of clothes but they all look way to big for her.
We have a few bottles the pack says they are Avent brand
5 different diaper bags I dont know why
Dresser/ changing table combination thing
We now have about 10 big cans of formula because thats what my mom brought up.
Lots of blankets
Lots of onesies
About 6 packs of diapers
a couple things of baby wipes.

These are very difficult times for you. But there is some joy that Amber came to you in your sleep and told you everything is alright.

Originally Posted by GingersMom

John, in another thread I said that I knew that Bagheera would be there to greet Amber, and your dreams have confirmed that for me - Amber knows what has happened to her, and she came to you in your dreams to let you know that she is ok, and that she loves you - and she told you herself that she will always be with you!

I'm crying again - but I'm SO glad you shared this with us - I really, really truly believe that she is right there with you and will ALWAYS be with you no matter what!

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Originally Posted by gemlady

Wolves are social animals and take care of their packs. Amber was definitely the dominant female and took care of her pack - you, Kaelyn, the kits and the pups. Maybe that explanation will help you with that dream.

More

and

from Indiana.

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She proves that even in death she will never stop loving you or her animals! I hope you can take comfort in these dreams.

And a few more and from Indiana

Originally Posted by CatlessGoatMan

A new update she pooped her first pooped about 5 minutes ago! I know its weird to be excited abnout poop but she hasnt gone since she was born only pee so that means her tummy is starting to work better.

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Only a father could be that excited about poop! It's a huge relief to know her tummy is working better.

Phew!!! What a relief, John! Amber really took care of the necessities! That's our girl!

Here's just some additional things, that you may find good to keep on-hand:

*A bottle of baby Motrin (for fevers, colds, etc...it comes in drops, usually).
*A baby ear thermometer.
*A baby suction ball (to unstuff stuffy noses)
*Some Desitin diaper rash cream...you just never know when a rash will crop up!
*Some Johnson & Johnson Head-To-Toe body wash (shampoo and baby bath in one...)
*Baby terrycloth washcloths...they're softer than normal washcloths...good for that first baby bath.
*Cotton balls for keeping that healing umbilical cord dry and clean.
*The book, "What to Expect the First Year." Great guide!!!
*A bathtub thing for her to lay in...unless you just hold her and do her in the sink...sometimes that's the easiest!
*A nice musical mobile to hang over her crib or bassinet...very soothing, and stimulating to newborns!
*A mechanical swing...I don't know how people survive without these, quite honestly. Keeps Kaelyn entertained and safe while you are running amuck trying to pick up the house, feed kitties, etc.

These are just some items, off the top of my head. They are now making Preemie diapers, but at 5 lbs. (which for a preemie, is a BIG baby), she probably will fit into smaller regular diapers.

Please let us know if you need help with any of the above items, and we'd be happy to put our heads together, and figure out how to send some stuff your way.

Originally Posted by wookie130

I absolutely 100% agree with this. You must get a lawyer, and obtain something in writing from Stan that states that he is signing over parental rights over to you...since he seems disinteresting in involving himself with Kaelyn, hopefully it won't be too difficult for him to agree to. I would probably do this ASAP, as you never know when Stan will try to change his mind, simply out of spite or anger. This is a lot to think about right at this moment...I completely understand. Please know that we are here for you in every way.

John, I wanted to ask you, since the baby was premature...do you have everything you need for the baby once she is ready to come home? Crib? Clothing? Carseat? Formula, bottles, nipples, diaper bag... diapers/wipes/blankies/etc.? A lot of people wait until very late into the pregnancy to buy this necessities...so I was curious if you're all set for her to come home with you when she's strong and healthy enough, especially since she arrived early?

If you do have some immediate needs for the baby, please let us know...did Amber have a baby shower, and get some items from friends and family? If not, perhaps some of us on TCS could band together and give you some help...
Don't be afraid to ask!

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Yes indeed, I know I would be willing to help with anything that Kaelyn needs.

And I agree with the other stuff in this post too. Try to get Stan to sign something ASAP saying that he doesn't want anything to do with the baby. I would be getting in touch with a lawyer too and see what else needs to be done.

Amber wanted you to be the father of Kaelyn, everybody here knows that. And if this would not have happened, you would have got married, and then she would have got Stan to sign whatever he needed to. Then you would have been Kaelyn's dad anyways.

Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help you and Kaelyn.

Hugs and prayers are being sent from Mississippi for you and Kaelyn, and the rest of Ambers family.

She did her first poop!

Now, that IS something to get excited about!

From your dreams I would say Amber is telling you what she would want, and thats for you to take care of her family, furry or not.

Lots of men sign birth certificates even if they aren't the biological father. You would have signed it if she was still alive, so I don't see any reason to not sign it now. Although getting a lawyers advice is always a smart thing to do.

Thank you so much for having the courage to let us know what is happening with Kaelyn! You are an extrememly strong man with a heart of gold!

Im going to the hospital now to see Kaelyn. I will let you know how things are going when I get back. Last thing I heard poop number 2 was a huge bomb. She's doing well. My parents are talking to their lawyer and I will let you know what he says.

Woohoo! Poop Number 2!

Thinking of you John - big positive thought coming to you from cold, frosty England. I have only just joined up here, and had barely been around long enough to know much about Amber, but I have read through her posts this afternoon, and for one so young, she seemed to have been through so much.

Love to that beautiful little lady - give her a cuddle and tell her that her mummy is watching over you both

That is wonderful news!!!!
I am keeping you all in my prayers that Lava Girl will be yours legally SOON!!

Continue to be strong John, but don't be afraid to lean on us if you need to.

Great news that your parents are trying to get some legal advice heading your way. I know Amber spoke very fondly of them, and they have every right to be proud grandparents and to stand up for your and Kaelyn.

praying that all goes well for you and for your sweet baby Kaelyn

I am still trying to catch up with things I am still reeling and finding it really hard to read updates etc............John I admire your strength through all this, you are a wonderful person and God willing all your hopes & wishes come true as they surely deserve to. Kiss sweet Kaelyn

Hey John can you set up a Babies R Us wish list thingy with everything you still need? Of course the parents here could help let you know what's needed.

Then the friends, family and of course us can make sure little Kaelyn has everything she needs.

Originally Posted by sarahp

Hey John can you set up a Babies R Us wish list thingy with everything you still need? Of course the parents here could help let you know what's needed.

Then the friends, family and of course us can make sure little Kaelyn has everything she needs.

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I was just thinking that. I wanted to be able to send something your way, but I wanted it to be something you wanted/needed.

We're trying to figure soemthing out right now.