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What's your answering machine say?

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
My answering machine says "Hi, you've reached Kallie, "I'm grouchy" (lol my son who wouldn't say his name), and Kyle. We are unable to answer the phone, please leave a message after the tone."
post #2 of 28
Ours is boring...it just says you've reached ...our telephone number...leave a message at the beep
post #3 of 28
My cell says you "You have reached Pamela "last name" Im not available at the moment, please leave your name and # and I will call you back as soon as possible" .... thats kind of long Im not sure what the home voice mail says, it used to be the generic voice mail lady but I think I heard Jim's voice on there one time but I cant remember what he was saying
post #4 of 28
Hi you've reached Mackenzie, sorry I missed your call but if you leave a name and number I'll call you back, Thanks!

Thats my cell- the only phone I have.

(I had to go and listen to it cuz I didn't know what it said anymore! )
post #5 of 28
Mine's boring, too...."You've reached the XXX residence. Please leave your name, phone number and a brief message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible".

My favorite message is one a friend had several years ago....(in a little kid's voice)"Hi, I'm Timmy and I live in the answering machine. It gets dark and scary in here, so leave a message so the light comes on. Thank you!"
post #6 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by okeefecl View Post
Mine's boring, too...."You've reached the XXX residence. Please leave your name, phone number and a brief message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible".

My favorite message is one a friend had several years ago....(in a little kid's voice)"Hi, I'm Timmy and I live in the answering machine. It gets dark and scary in here, so leave a message so the light comes on. Thank you!"
thats so cute!
post #7 of 28
I don't remember what callers hear on my answering machine (it was recorded so long ago) but my answering machine says to me: "You have X number of messages"!
post #8 of 28
Right now?
Hi! You have reached Jenney. I'm either at work and away from my desk, in class or studying. Please leave a message after the tone.

Before:
You've reached Jenney. You know what to do beep
post #9 of 28
Currently it says:

"Hi, sorry I missed your call. Please leave a message after the beeb and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

Years ago I bought a couple of cassette tapes that had celebrity voices with various answering machine messages.

I tried the following:

Marilyn Monroe: Very breathy voice "Hi.... Thanks for calling....I can't come to the phone right now.... Please leave your name and telephone number after the beep and I'll call you back just as soon as I can.... Bye....."

One evening I was expecting a call from my brother with some information that he was supposed to leave on my answering machine. I got home and there was no message from him but messages from some friends, so I called him. He told me that my phone was out of order and that he reported it to the phone company. I told him that it was strange because others managed to get through to me without a problem and I asked him what kind of problem. He told me that he and my nephew both tried several times to call me but kept getting put through to a "hooker's house", and then he proceeded to tell me what the message said. LMAO I laughed and told him that was my answering machine. Needless to say I changed it after that, LOL

Richard Simmons: Nasal sounding peppy voice "Hi! We can't come to to phone right now. We're busy exercising and losing tons of disgusting fat and making wonderful things in the vita mix. So leave your name and number after the beep and we'll call you back ok? Everybody 1, 2, 3...."

There were others such as Johnny Cash singing, Mae West saying "Why don't you come up and see me sometime...." and some others.

I've also tried making my own.... with soft wind chimes in the background occasionally. It went something along the lines of the following.

"Hi, I'm the Genie here. My mistress can't take your call right now. Please leave your 3 wishes after the beep and I'll see what I can do to grant them."

Most people just laughed and left their message. However, I did manage to get a few serious perverts calling. One guy called me 3 times to leave a "wish" with each message, LOL His wishes would have made a sailor blush. After letting my friend listen to them and having a major giggle fest, I changed it! LOL

I now leave normal messages. Besides, I have a number of professional companies calling me for various things and it just seems better to have a normal message and not something goofy these days.

But I did have some great fun with my messages when I was in my 20's!!! LOL
post #10 of 28
I had my grandson record mine, so I love listening to my own outgoing message! It goes...
"Hi, this is Joey!Sorry I cant answer the phone, but after all I'm a cat. Please leave a message - David and Susan love to get them. MEOW!"
It turned out really cute! And when it comes on, the cats go to the phone base, and sniff the phone looking for John, my grandson - so cute
post #11 of 28
I'm pretty sure my cell and house phone have almost identical messages, something like "Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can" I think, I haven't called myself in awhile and I recorded noth of them a long time ago
post #12 of 28
My phoneline has a generic voicemail lady as for some reason it reset itself a few weeks back and I haven't changed it again. I can't remember what it used to say, probably 'hi, we are not home right now, leave a message after the beep or try us on cell' or something along those lines.

My cell no longer has voicemail as my office will fill it up with messages I don't want to hear until I get into the office and they usually won't bother me at home unless it is really urgent.

Our home/business line has a business type message on it
post #13 of 28
I have the generic messge on mine right now.Because I am rarley NOT home to answer it.
post #14 of 28
No voicemail here, just caller id...BUT I used to have a message on my cell that my friends hated..It just said.."hello?" to make them think it was me answering... I loved it!
post #15 of 28
I have it in Spanish & English. The phone for my house says: "Hola esta llamando la casa de la familia Lopez porfavor dejar su nombre, su numero de telefono y un breve mensaje y le contestare lo mas ante posible. Hi you're calling the Lopez family please leave your name and phone number and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

My cell phone says "Hi this is Maria please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Bye"
post #16 of 28
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by catsknowme View Post
I had my grandson record mine, so I love listening to my own outgoing message! It goes...
"Hi, this is Joey!Sorry I cant answer the phone, but after all I'm a cat. Please leave a message - David and Susan love to get them. MEOW!"
It turned out really cute! And when it comes on, the cats go to the phone base, and sniff the phone looking for John, my grandson - so cute

That is a really cute answer!!!

My friends answering machine is hilarious. It fools EVERYONE. It goes. HEllo...pause.....hahahaha gottcha...I'm not home right now, you know what to do!

My prof phoned her and started talking to the machine and then the rest came up and she hung up all flustered because we knew about the message and she was soooo embarrased! Priceless!
post #17 of 28
Here are some links to sites that have answering machine messages that you can tape onto your own machine.


http://www.sillyhumor.com/answer.html

http://www.soundamerica.com/sounds/s...ering_Machine/

http://www.ilovewavs.com/comedy/AnsMach/AnsMach.htm
post #18 of 28
Rather short and sweet on the voice mail - "You've reached the XXX's. Please leave a message."

On our answering machines (which we kept losing to storms) it said "You have reached the XXX's and their answering machine. Please leave your name and number...." Some actually laughed and told the machine to tell us their message.
post #19 of 28
My sisters both have ones on cell that get my mum every time

The first one says 'hello.... hello... I can't hear you, you must be in a bad area, oh.... wait... no I am just not here'

the other's says 'OMG, did you hear what happened last night...' and goes on to tell some rediculous story that you have to listen to before leaving a message
post #20 of 28
Mine is also a generic voice, it says something like we are not at home right now to take your call, please leave a message. I also have caller id too.
post #21 of 28
mine says:" you've reached xxx-xxxx. You haven't reached us yet but you will if you leave a message."
post #22 of 28
"If your trying to reach Carol, you dialed the wrong number. Otherwise please leave a message & we will call you back shortly."
post #23 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by icklemiss21 View Post

the other's says 'OMG, did you hear what happened last night...' and goes on to tell some rediculous story that you have to listen to before leaving a message
That would drive me nuts!
post #24 of 28
I think ours is something like "I'm sorry we're not available to take your call; Mooch and Noodles will take a message after the beep" My mother always leaves mesages directed to them. "Hi Mooch and Noodles! Tell Mommy to call me please!"
post #25 of 28
We don't like 'em and don't use 'em. If no one answers the phone here, we're not home (or we're having dinner), so the person has to call back, email, or talk to us in person if it's important.

I used to get home from a long day and spend 30 minutes returning phone calls, usually by leaving another message on the caller's machine. Forget that!

Cheers, from
SwampWitch

p.s. Natalie_ca, I like your humorous announcements, though!
post #26 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by babyharley View Post
That would drive me nuts!
It does, especially when I have to call her on cell long distance at 49c per min because she only has a cell phone
post #27 of 28
LOL - you guys have some hilarious stories! Mine is very boring, but professional because it's the only phone I use. Something like "You've reached the voicemail of ____ ____. I'm sorry I can't take your call right now. Please leave a message and I'll return your call as soon as possible. Thank you." See, boring!
post #28 of 28
Mine just has Francesca, because i messed it up!

Although in australia we used to have two answering machines, one was for when we werent home and it goes " you call the family ... please leave your name and number and we will get back to you as soon as we can"

Then on the other one people would receive it if i was on the phone or doing a 3 way and it went like this:

"Look im on the phone now so call back later!"
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