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Did you ever go someplace

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
like a meeting or whatnot and JUST KNEW that you weren't liked?

I haven't felt like that in high school and this meeting I went to last night, I just felt really insecure and that people asked me questions...but it was the "polite" stuff.

Then if I tried to speak up in conversations, but either I was ignored or pushed out of groups.

I couldn't WAIT to leave...and never come back...

anyone else felt like this before??
post #2 of 25
One of the labs I rotated through in my first year as a grad student was sort of like that. The people in it were nice and all, but I definately felt like I didn't really "click" with them. It was one of the main reasons why I didn't ask to join the lab. You're definately not alone!
post #3 of 25
Yep! Sounds like High School to me! Not really, but there were some pretty snobish girls there that come to mind.

I've felt that other places too. Sometimes I just keep chattin or whatever anyway. Maybe it will annoy them, maybe it will make them get over whatever it is making them like that. I unno, I just do it!
post #4 of 25
Yes! Not too long ago, I went to my best friends birthday party and my hubby and I were completely ignored, except by her younger sister. They were all doctors like my best friend is, and they made us non doctor people feel so small. I havent had much to do with my best friend since then, since she became a doctor, her personality has completely changed - its all about the money for her now.
post #5 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiwideus View Post
Yes! Not too long ago, I went to my best friends birthday party and my hubby and I were completely ignored, except by her younger sister. They were all doctors like my best friend is, and they made us non doctor people feel so small. I havent had much to do with my best friend since then, since she became a doctor, her personality has completely changed - its all about the money for her now.
Oh that's horrible! I don't blame you though, it's hard to see a friendship go (especially a best friend), but its difficult to maint that friendship when things change.

Yea I know the money thing though...thats what one guy was talking about and I just thought it was such an odd statement. We were talking cars (I have a Civic and he has a Prius). Then he makes the statement "Well I can afford the Prius so I just bought it outright."

Umm...that's nice. I could've afford the Prius (despite our 40 year age gap) but I chose the Civic because of my Costco membership discount. Of course I kept my mouth shut, but still...

My only entertainment was watching the daughter of some chairperson get hit on by 50 year old [married] men (she was younger than me) and then watch her check out the younger guys there. You could tell she was bored.
post #6 of 25
I've felt like that most of my life, no matter where I was I might just be paranoid too
post #7 of 25
Maybe i'm weird, but i've never really had that happen before
post #8 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR View Post
Maybe i'm weird, but i've never really had that happen before



Oh Now Nikki we know your weird you didn't have to say that
post #9 of 25
Yes, that often happens in places where people have known each other awhile and an "outsider" comes into the picture.

There is one hospital ward that I work on occasionally that is like that. It's a nice ward as far as the type of nursing goes, but the staff are all very close knit and most of them are friends outside of work and do things in groups. So when I took a position there I felt completely left out. I was there almost 5 months and things didn't improve so I sought a position elsewhere in the hospital where the staff weren't so "clickey" with one another.
post #10 of 25
Yes... I used to feel that way at the place I work at now. There was a girl who was the head of the area I work in and I just always felt like she hated me. She even told my manager that I didnt try to associate with the other people in the department that I wasnt nice to our customers ...

She was also vegan and I tried to talk to her about food a couple of times when there seemed to be a group conversation going on an she just tuned me out. It rally pissed me off. IT still does. Thank goodness a much nicer person takes care of everything now.
post #11 of 25
Yep, I feel that way all the time. Though there's little scientific proof, I don't think it's not inconceiveable that people give off emotional hormonal signals to each other soley depedent on a person's beliefs and tastes. A new comer comes near an established "group", a couple, or maybe even just one person in the group senses you're not "one of them" and doesn't like you, unintentionally sets off a hormonal signal that's received by everyone else in the group, who are all now sending out "we don't like this person" vibes. You feel these vibes, and you feel uncomfortable and you reciprocate with a hormonal signal of your own. In the end neither party likes each other and the more they hang around each other, the more hormones the pump out and the more they dislike each other until one gives up and runs off.

I think this is where prejudice originates from, and race and beliefs plays heavily on it (race and beliefs are generally intertwined). Subconsciously, people are thinking, anyone who does not believe in, or thinks against my beliefs is a challenger and I am automatically incompatible with that person. Even if they willfully supress those "emotions" they'll still feel uncomfortable.

Might also have to do with the heart, saw a documentary that said the magnetic waves put out by the heart can be picked up as far away as 6 ft with modern equipment.

Dunno, just a theory I have.

Though there is a flipside. Sometimes I'll meet people and automatically without even knowing the person's name I know I'll like this person.
post #12 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemur 6 View Post
Yep, I feel that way all the time. Though there's little scientific proof, I don't think it's not inconceiveable that people give off emotional hormonal signals to each other soley depedent on a person's beliefs and tastes. A new comer comes near an established "group", a couple, or maybe even just one person in the group senses you're not "one of them" and doesn't like you, unintentionally sets off a hormonal signal that's received by everyone else in the group, who are all now sending out "we don't like this person" vibes. You feel these vibes, and you feel uncomfortable and you reciprocate with a hormonal signal of your own. In the end neither party likes each other and the more they hang around each other, the more hormones the pump out and the more they dislike each other until one gives up and runs off.

I think this is where prejudice originates from, and race and beliefs plays heavily on it (race and beliefs are generally intertwined). Subconsciously, people are thinking, anyone who does not believe in, or thinks against my beliefs is a challenger and I am automatically incompatible with that person. Even if they willfully supress those "emotions" they'll still feel uncomfortable.

Might also have to do with the heart, saw a documentary that said the magnetic waves put out by the heart can be picked up as far away as 6 ft with modern equipment.

Dunno, just a theory I have.

Though there is a flipside. Sometimes I'll meet people and automatically without even knowing the person's name I know I'll like this person.
Oh I love your theory!! You know, there is so much going on that we humans don't clue in to on a conscious level. And it's true that sometimes, for whatever reason, you just don't fit into a group.
I love those times when you meet someone and just click. You just know you'll get along without even knowing each other yet.
post #13 of 25
Oh that would suck. The last time I felt like that was probably in grade 8 I think It sucks to feel like the outcast

Well, at least we love you
post #14 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by katiemae1277 View Post
I've felt like that most of my life, no matter where I was I might just be paranoid too
I feel like quite often and not sure if I am paranoid or what but I do know that it might be a genetic thing with me my dad hates crowds of people and I am the same way. I am okay with a small group like maybe 5 people and that's pushing it with me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiwideus View Post
Yes! Not too long ago, I went to my best friends birthday party and my hubby and I were completely ignored, except by her younger sister. They were all doctors like my best friend is, and they made us non doctor people feel so small. I havent had much to do with my best friend since then, since she became a doctor, her personality has completely changed - its all about the money for her now.
I had a friend who completely changed and I don't go around anymore but with her it was a bit different she got married and the family she married into is all well to do types and she doesn't seem to interested in talking anymore.
post #15 of 25
I have been told that I could talk to a stump, so it don't matter to me if they wanna talk to me or not, I still talk to them, and if I know they don't wanna talk to me, that makes me talk that much more, I will even follow them around just to aggravate them.
post #16 of 25
I feel that a lot. I feel like I don't belong or sometimes shouldn't be there. Sometimes I think its just insecurity getting in the way or shyness. I dont generally trust people.
post #17 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by halfpint View Post
Oh Now Nikki we know your weird you didn't have to say that
Thankyou Lois
post #18 of 25
I definately have.

Growing up I was the chubby kids, so I automatically did not have girlfriends but I did fit in with the boys until about grade 9. After that I only had a close group of friends. I guess it doesn't help that I am such an opinionated person that is bull headed most the time (wrong or right unfortunately) and I don't conform to much so I normally do stand out, sometimes good, sometimes bad.

I also think that when I think I don't fit in, it has more to do with my own insecurities than anything else.
post #19 of 25
Thread Starter 
Phew! I feel better now. Just spent today in class and this semester people are a little more outgoing and friendlier.

Plus thank the Internet that TCS is here for me!
post #20 of 25
aw, poor you! i know how you feel we are the uh, black sheep in our family. or so i think. they all have nice houses and expensive clothes, but we're just average. oh well. i've learned to deal with it i guess.

glad people are freindlier now!
post #21 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by catcrazyperson View Post
aw, poor you! i know how you feel we are the uh, black sheep in our family. or so i think. they all have nice houses and expensive clothes, but we're just average. oh well. i've learned to deal with it i guess.

glad people are freindlier now!
Black sheep! That's the word I was looking for. I'm definately the black sheep of my family too. The only engineer in my entire bloodline. Everyone rips on me for being different, and consequently I don't get along with anyone in my family (immediate or extended). I think part of it is jealousy too.
post #22 of 25
im sorry, I know what u mean though I always try to say something and get ignored and half of the time its here at my house, but if i go somewhere else we start a discussion and i will say somehting people will sometimes cut me off or completely ignore me ! Ecspecially at family things (my one grandma used to get mad at me cause i dyed my hair and i had piercings ) It just really sucks sometimes !!! But hey if they dont wanna listen to u then o well they probably werent worth the time and people are stuck up and think that they are better and things like that, its people like that that just get under my skin !!!! I guess I learned to deal with feeling how u were feeling !!! But also I am very outgoing and try to make nice conversations with people at functions and those people that ignore or cut u off are usually jelous and such imo, but I also make sure that my opinion is out there too
post #23 of 25
I noticed this growing up, and never had the sense of it again until the last year. My peers at work (managers in the IT field) are all in the 40's-50's age range, and there is one woman who just hates me. I was in a meeting the other day and she went around the room introducing everyone and simply skipped me. Didn't even acknowledge that I was in the room. My first thought? How childish, but I'm not going to lower myself to her standards.

I think as adults we just need to get over it.
post #24 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momofmany View Post

I think as adults we just need to get over it.
I agree! Somedays I just want to ask people "I know you got your High school diploma, but did you ever MENTALLY graduate high school?"
post #25 of 25
I guess I haven't felt this for a long time, probably since high school. There were those moments occassionally in college, but, I've always been independent enough to not really worry to much about the opinions of others. In fact, every one else's opinions about me is probably none of my business.
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