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heavy topic, anger

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
ok not even sure if i can post this here but if not sorry. you guys have helped me out a great deal so figure maybe somone has insight to this. I have always had issues with temper and getting angry at the stupidest thing-last night it caght up with me...I got fired. I lost it at work last few days then last night I went off again and got the don't show up again. my boss is cool and he knows theres stuff going on with me. I TOTALY understand his view and 110% support his decision. I think its a turning point of knowing I really do have to get help. He gave me his number as a friend to friend. I know I messed up bad and I feel bad for what I do its just when its going down I have just about no control. so definatly think a anger managament course would be a step in right direction and also going to contact the hospital next week about some sort of therapy anyone else have any tips, info...? Thanks so much and hope you guys are all safe this christmas
post #2 of 4
I am sorry that you lost your job but it has made you realize that you have a problem that is getting in the way of your functioning. Anger management class or support group is a good way of working through it. Therapy can really help but it can also be expensive and may not be an option for someone who is unemployed. I notice you are still young. I had the same problem when I was younger and it got easier to control as I got older. I don't think it was so much I got better at controlling anger as it was I got more tolerant and I got better at putting things in perspective and realizing that a lot of the things that I was getting angry about just were not worth it.
post #3 of 4
Thread Starter 
My boss has same issue hes 33 or so and he says same thing to me all the time...I think this might be such a blessing seems crappy now but might be better in the end. I was going to try to go to a mental clinic on sliding scale base so it will be free or very minimal. Thanks for replying
post #4 of 4
I can totally relate!

I've had a lot of crappy stuff happen to me in my life and I was a very angry teenager / young adult.

I used to bottle things up inside and God help the person who was in the line of fire when I exploded. I literally used to have fits of blind rage where I actually lost time and had no memory of my actions. Now that's scarey!

I remember one evening when I was 18 years old or so and living with my brother and his family (our parents died when I was 15 and 16), he was tormenting me by hitting me with the tip of a rolled up dish towel. Now you may say "big deal", but it was. It hurt. It felt like a whip and was leaving welts where it hit me. I kept telling him to stop it, but he kept on and on. I blew up. I don't know where I found the strength at 120 pounds to pick up a large cushioned swivel rocking chair and throw it across the room, but I did, right into a wall. Had I not seen the broken wall I wouldn't have believed what I did. Other times I used to totally demolish my room from ripping out dresser drawers to turning over my bed etc. Again, I had no memory of having done it, but I knew I had.

It got to a point where I knew I had to do something because I was scared that I might seriously hurt someone (or worse) one day. I didn't know about anger management counselling back then, but I know I sure could have benefited from it.

I did manage to get my anger under control. I tend to have really good insight into myself and realized that my anger problem was from inaffective coping and I knew the rages were the result of my bottling things up.

I decided that from now on that "honesty is the best policy" and vowed that if something was bothering me that I would discuss it with the person involved immediately and not hide my feelings. It took me a long time to be able to effectively do this without trampling on peoples' feelings or causing them to be angry with me for speaking up.

I found that this method has greatly helped me. I'm 44 years old now and I rarely if ever get angry because I work through things as they come up, and people always know where they stand with me. I'm honest, but I'm not brutal and I try not to hurt peoples' feelings by pointing fingers. But everyone I know from family to friends to co-workers know that if I have an issue with them that I will bring it up immediately (in private) so that it doesn't build and fester.

I strongly suggest that you seek counselling for yourself because you obviously have some issues that you need to work through. These unresolved issues are probably the cause of your anger, and until you learn to manage how to deal with these things and to ultimately let them go, you will continue to have anger problems.

I also suggest that you look into "effective communication" techniques. They will teach you how to express yourself without steam rolling over people or causing hurt feelings. I know when I first started to be open and honest about my feelings to people that I hurt a huge number of people because I didn't know how to say things tactfully in a way that got my point across in a sensitive manner.
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