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If panda dies I follow suit - help us!

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
let's begin with what makes him so special - unusual beauty aside, he is an exceptional cat regarding a high level of communication with ppl. he has a very expressive face which can communicate feelings and thoughts in an increadible range. And he is the perfect lover - displaying affection in such way I have never thought possible. his vet says he never met such complex psyche in any cat, or such personality. Well, I love him so much it hurts even when he's well. I have no family and my 3 cats are the pefect compensation for this loss. I must add that i myself have a mental disorder (manic-depressive) and many a time it was the thought of my cats that kept me away from suicide.

Panda is now 15+ and appart from urinary problems which are well kept under control with a special diet food, he is healthy, happy, content.

That is until these last days. 2 days ago i noticed that he was very lethargic,
didn't move that much except for the litter box or to drink. didn't react when i called him or talked to him and he felt too bony while i touched him.

I took him to the vet who checked him and came out with two findings so far:
his eyesight has diminished considerably and he has lost weight and muscle tissue. I know from experience with a cat i had years ago, that eyesight loss can cause depression, especially when it escalates rapidly, but she was 19. he is just 15...i think there's still some eyesight, since he follows movement, but he no longer ventures to jump up to the sink to drink from rhe faucet - and i am talking of changes that took place in a matter of 2-3 days. he is completely transformed - aphaty, reluctance to move, loss of appetite (although i managed to get about two spoonfools of food into him. He ignores me almost completely, which is very unusual - he's altogether like a different cat.

The vet prescribed stereoids for starts and told be to be alert and see if he vomites (not) and defecates (don't know yet). I try my best to give him a lot of attention and love and make him comfortable as possible....

BUT I AM EXTREAMLY WORRIED !

So I think I will not wait for the effect of the stereoids to kick in and will take him on Sunday for further tests.

I simply cannot lose this cat. The thought of parting with him is something I will not be able to cope with. I tell you - i will follow suit, just to be reunited with him.

My vet who knows us both very well, may know more than he tells me. he is well aware of how much this animal means to me, as well as my sensitivities due to my condition.

I would like to know what "loss of muscle tissue" could indicate and if anyone is familiar with these other symptoms I've related. I am well aware that changes like these take place in an eldery cat, but he's not that old...15. And it all happened so suddenly, practically overnight.

If you have any ideas - please share them with me.
knowing the truth is best, however painful that may be.

thank you,
rachel

p.s. please forgive my English it is not my first language.
post #2 of 27
Oh Rachael....
I really feel for you.
I don't have answers about Panda's muscle wasting,
but I can offer my support.

Although Panda is not a young kitty...
there may still be hope but you need a definitive diagnosis.

I am sending calming vibes and will watch for your updates.
Panda
post #3 of 27
Hey, no need to apologise for your English, it is better than some native English speakers!

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. Have you had him tested for the things that can affect elderly cats? - Kidney function, thyroid function, diabetes? If diagnosed early, these are all conditions that can be managed with medication and diet I would go back to the vet and request that these tests are done, if they haven't been already.
post #4 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandgoddess View Post
I simply cannot lose this cat. The thought of parting with him is something I will not be able to cope with. I tell you - i will follow suit, just to be reunited with him.
I am very sorry to hear about your kitty being sick

Part of loving is learning to deal with loss. That goes for both animals and people. Dealing with death of a loved one, whether a pet or a close friend or family member is very hard.

I am extremely worried by what you said about killing yourself. I strongly encourage you to seek out some crisis management counselling. Contact a psychologist and get some help for yourself. Please!
post #5 of 27
Thread Starter 
thank you very much for your support, epona, I am touched.

hugs,
rachel
post #6 of 27
Rachal,

You really need to talk to someone right now. I get attached to cats very much and know how much anxiety you must be feeling right now. Two years ago I had to put my beloved Baby down, she was so special I thought she was almost human. The depression and anxiety hit me real hard, I ended up having to take Antivan, I couldn't sleep or eat for days. I struggle with depression also. It took me a while, but gradually with time you start concentrating on the good times you had with Panda. If you have a counsellor I suggest you contact him/her. Remember there are other kitties out there who need someone so caring as you so please don't think of joining Panda. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Panda.
post #7 of 27
I am so sorry to hear that Panda isn't feeling well. Sending lots of vibes his way that he is able to beat this.
I am concerned for you though, Rachel. We all love our babies so much and become heartbroken at the thought of losing them. For those that have lost, the pain is tremendous, but I doubt that you will find anyone who would stand up and say that it wasn't worth the years of love and joy their kitty brought to their lives. As Natalie said, part of loving is losing. When the time comes and Panda moves on, he won't be gone completely from your life. He will still remain a part of you and nothing can take away that part of your heart that belongs to him. Your other babies are going to need you to be there for them, and together you will find ways to cope. I know it seems hard to comprehend right now, but things will be ok. Grief works in stages... it will hurt, but eventually you will find a way to smile again. Trust me
I truly hope that Panda recovers and you have lots more time to spend with him though, and that in a few days this all seems unnecessary to think about
post #8 of 27
I know just how you feel at the worry over your beloved Panda. But remember, there is still hope, you are giving him the best care possible and you have other cats who need you too. I do hope there is a good outcome.
post #9 of 27
I'm so sorry to hear about Panda, and I echo the others' concerns about you. I'm sending lots of healing and calming vibes for both of you.
post #10 of 27
Try researching Taurine or Vit A deficiency. I know what you are going through. I feel the say way about my cat Smokey.

He will pull through.
post #11 of 27
Rachel sometimes when I think about losing one of my cats it terrifies me and I don't know how I will cope, but as Tanya said the love we have with them while they are alive, makes it all worth it.
Please don't say that you would follow suit. Thats not what Panda would want. He would want you to stay and take care of your other 2 cats until the time comes that you are all 4 reunited at the Rainbow Bridge.
I am sending enormous vibes for Panda, and for you and I hope that he is feeling 100% better soon, and that whatever is wrong you are able to treat
post #12 of 27
I am sorry to hear that Panda isn't well, I would immediately demand a full blood test including thyroid. There are a couple of conditions that can cause sight probs but can be reversed, fingers crossed that is the case. I also agree with all the others, your comments are worrying, and Panda really wouldn't want you to be joining him so soon, and your remaining cats would end up without a mum too.
post #13 of 27
Thread Starter 
yes, he has been tested for all that 4 months ago, but i guess due to the condition now, we should repeat the tests. I intend to do that on sunday. In the meantime I am told that it is imperative that he eats, so as not to develop liver probs.

thanks for caring.
rachel

hugs,
rachel
post #14 of 27
Thread Starter 
thanks natalie. don't worry dear, I was simply expressing my feelings, i do have a very good professional support, but right now all I need to concentrate on, is doing everything possible to help him, no?

thanks for caring,
rachel
post #15 of 27
You are a wonderful kitty Mommy.
Panda is blessed that you care so much.
It is never easy when our beloved babies are ill and not doing well.
Stay with us here at TCS as you go though this difficult time...
you will not be alone. ((((hugs))))
post #16 of 27
Rachel dear, I understand your feelings about the possibility of losing Panda. Unfortunately, we all know that it's iinevitable. But as others have said, you have your other babies and they will continue to need your love and care. I know there have been animals that I've formed an incredible bond with; one has been gone for 18 years, and while I generally feel good when I think about her, there are also times when I still cry over her.
It sounds as if you intend to do all you possibly can for Panda, but you also need to take care of yourself. I'm hoping Panda's problem isn't serious; getting more tests done is a good idea. Then you'll know just what you're dealing with.
Just know that you have hundreds of shoulders here you can lean on. Sending loads of (((healing vibes))) to your sweet Panda and (((big hugs))) to you.
post #17 of 27
Thread Starter 
thank you fishtreats, I cannot yet think about the future or future kittens, right now i need to concentrate on doing everything possible for panda. I am getting couseling help, so do not worry.

hugs,
rachel
post #18 of 27
I am so sorry for your unhappiness and fear of losing Panda. I am praying that your vet will find out what is causing his illness and you will have more years to share with your beloved Panda.
post #19 of 27
Thread Starter 
thank you squirtle, I maybe overeacting, but i am practically sick with worry. I lost Tzoof to kidney failure a year ago, but i coped with it, time usually heals, but this cat is SOOOOOOOO special.

As you say, i hope it will turn out less serious than what I fear.

hugs,
rachel
post #20 of 27
Thread Starter 
thank you jenny, i appreciate the support.

hugs,
rachel
post #21 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandgoddess View Post
thank you squirtle, I maybe overeacting, but i am practically sick with worry. I lost Tzoof to kidney failure a year ago, but i coped with it, time usually heals, but this cat is SOOOOOOOO special.

As you say, i hope it will turn out less serious than what I fear.

hugs,
rachel

Your very welcome. I wouldn't describe it as over reacting though because we are all like this when it comes to our babies

Please keep us updated on Panda's condition.
post #22 of 27
Having a sick kitty can be one of life's most difficult challenges. I hope that if something is wrong with your kitty that it will be treatable. I'm concerned about you and I hope you stay with us. Please let your doctors or other professional helpers know what you are feeling. Even if the worst should happen, your other kitty babies will need you. I can tell that you love them a lot and I am sure they love you dearly as well. Please keep us updated.
post #23 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by FishTreatsMom View Post
Rachal,
You really need to talk to someone right now. If you have a counsellor I suggest you contact him/her. Remember there are other kitties out there who need someone so caring as you so please don't think of joining Panda. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Panda.
good vibes & prayers coming your way for you & Panda
post #24 of 27
Oh Rachel i really feel for you right now because were all mums and dads to these fur babies and like children we worry over them

Your here with friends, so you don't have to go through this alone

Sending Panda ((((((((((mega healthy vibes))))))))))) but keep us updated on what the vet says.

Have you a picture of your little one you could put up in fur pages so we can see him?
post #25 of 27
Sweet, calming, loving headbuts and oh so, gentle, get better soon licks from KittenKiya's Clan. Rachel, we are ALL here for you and your baby, Panda.
post #26 of 27
I'm so sorry your baby is not feeling well. I will say a prayer for Panda. Please keep us updated. And don't be afraid to come on here and vent, we all understand. I've lost 3 kitties and each one hurt in a different way, but I wouldn't trade my days with them for anything!
post #27 of 27
I hope Panda will be okay
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