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Tired of him playing hard to get

post #1 of 4
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I am frustrated with my cat. I have had him almost 5 months and I feel like I have made little progress with him. I am just really disappointed. He is just not much of an attention seeker (he is 8 months old). I wouldn't really say he is skittish because he does pretty much follow us around the house. He likes to be in the same room we are. He just doesn't really seek us out for for petting. He rarely if ever sits on the couch let alone our laps -- only the floor (guess I don't have to worry about cat hair). He only sleeps under the bed or on top of his cat tree.

I always thought a lot of it was my kids being around. He pretty much can't walk by my four year old without be ambushed. He is extremely tolerant of the kids and doesn't really have a mean bone in his body which I am thankful for. I just thought it would be nice to to cuddle with him after the kids go to bed. Instead, he sat on the bed and cleaned himself, then jumped up and went under the bed. I am done "courting" him right now -- I don't know what else I can do beside pet him, give him treats, talk to him. He does like to be petted, he just never comes to us for it (unless you count plopping down in front of us on the floor). That is another thing -- I am tired of bending over or sitting on the floor to pet him -- I feel like saying "if you want me to pet you come sit by me for a change." The only time he willingly sits on me is 5:30 in the morning for about 20 minutes (the only time he is a love bug).

I know this sounds silly but this may be the only cat I have for the next 16 years so I can't help thinking he isn't living up to my expectations. Maybe I should have gotten a lap dog.

For those of you who will say "that is why you should have gotten an adult instead of a kitten" -- I was perfectly happy to adopt an adult cat but my husband is convinced that all adults in shelters are there because they pee in the house. Now my DH thinks the cat is standoffish and doesn't even try to be friends with him.

This is just a vent but any words of encouragement is appreciated.
post #2 of 4
You have got to handle him a lot more! Not only for healthy physical relationship but also it is important to be able to handle your cat if something happens............such as a fire or unexpected animal, as well as it is very important when it comes to vet visits. Try some interactive toy playing, feeding him treats out of your hand. Even if there are times he does'nt want to be held, he should'nt fight it, just always make sure he knows he is safe in your hands and you will protect him. Maia is a rag doll in my arms, she completely flops! She will give me this look " ok ma, enough"
post #3 of 4
I agree with cheylink, my Stormie whos like 4 months old isnt that affectionate but I play with her and feed her treats out of my hand, well i did the treat thing last night and then today we were soo cuddly i found it funny when we play i pet her and she loves playing she will fetch and the whole time she will purr up a storm and now she is just a lot more affectionate !
post #4 of 4
i think that with some cats the more you beg them to be around you the less they will.... so don't try enticing your cat anymore, ignore him until he makes the first move and then stop givig him attention before he has had enough (leave him wanting more). in time you may discover that the early morning love bug in him comes out more and more.

another thing that always melts my cats personality into a puddle of love is the scent of honeysuckle. not the fake perfume but honeysuckle from a cat store. if you cant find it where you live I will gladly buy you a bottle and mail it to you. im me and we can work out the details.
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