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GRRRR... stupid dating sites

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
Well, I decided a few days ago to give some dating sites a try. I recently signed up for one (who I'm not sure I should be naming here), wrote up a profile and looked at other people's profiles.

So I ended up finding that one guy who seems very interesting. I sent him a smile, he sent me one back... so now we're stuck. There's no way I can contact him without paying (or without him paying)

So what do I do now? I certainly hadn't planned on actually spending money on these dumb sites... but I'd really like to talk to the guy.
post #2 of 13
I think that's how they make their money! Better pay up
post #3 of 13
Here's a trick I was advised of...when writing out your profile, squeeze in between words your email address for eg.

Looking for squirtle a good at, kind and decent man aol - preferably with dot a sense of humor com.

If the dude is intelligent, he should be able to read between the lines!

Unless you don't get what I'm trying to write???
post #4 of 13
I think i know which site youre on about, sometimes they give you 3 free emails to send!

Good luck!
and yes i would create a weirdo email account that pretty much anyone on that site could add you on. So then you could talk to him?
post #5 of 13
When I used to be on that particular site, yes, people would either include their email in their profile somehow...or more likely, the guy is the one who coughs up the dough to be able to message each other..
I never paid for messaging credits ever...It's my way of weeding out cheap men ...
(being cheap is one of my biggest pet peeves!)
post #6 of 13
Thread Starter 
some update...

I tried including my email many different ways (on my picture, in my profile description, in the introduction line...) and I got caught every time

However, the guy just sent me a message
So if he's nice and we end up meeting, I consider that I owe him a coffee for that
post #7 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by marie-p View Post
some update...

I tried including my email many different ways (on my picture, in my profile description, in the introduction line...) and I got caught every time

However, the guy just sent me a message
So if he's nice and we end up meeting, I consider that I owe him a coffee for that
Thats great news!!! Woooohoooo stupid dating site!!
Do you have to pay for all types of dating sites?
post #8 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by marie-p View Post
Well, I decided a few days ago to give some dating sites a try. I recently signed up for one (who I'm not sure I should be naming here), wrote up a profile and looked at other people's profiles.

So I ended up finding that one guy who seems very interesting. I sent him a smile, he sent me one back... so now we're stuck. There's no way I can contact him without paying (or without him paying)

So what do I do now? I certainly hadn't planned on actually spending money on these dumb sites... but I'd really like to talk to the guy.
I know the site you mean (starts with L and ends in E). Anyway, I've been using that site on and off for about 4 or 5 years.... not at all for the past 3 years. I gave up. You see I bought credits just because of the situation you describe. What a waste of money in my opinion.

I can honestly say that despite my having placed my ad in the long term relationship and dating categories, I didn't come across a one single sincere guy. I found that they were all into some kind of game, being they were either married looking for "fun on the side", or just looking for "fun and games and casual sex". I even managed to find a co-workers husband there I agonized about what to do and in the end didn't say anything to her But I did say something to him and he ended up blocking me from contacting him.

I also tried a few other of those online sites, including one that matches you in a variety of "dimensions" so that you find the best suited person. People aren't interested in being paired up with someone based on dimensions and not knowing what the other person looks like until you've spent days or weeks answering online questions back and forth without even having a chance at being able to communicate with the person outside those standard cut and dry Q&A forms you have to fill out each time they get back to you. Also, I found that unless I expanded my search field I wasn't getting any contacts, and when I expanded my search field all I got were a list of potentials thousands of miles away from me in another country, one that I wasn't interested in moving to (USA. I live in Canada and like it here).

I suggest that if you are seriously wanting to meet someone through a dating service, that you contact a local one in your city where you make a video and they screen the applicants who want to see your video. These online dating services don't screen their members and you will run into a number of kooks, despite what their ads may try and convey to you.
post #9 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
I suggest that if you are seriously wanting to meet someone through a dating service, that you contact a local one in your city where you make a video and they screen the applicants who want to see your video. These online dating services don't screen their members and you will run into a number of kooks, despite what their ads may try and convey to you.
That's how my parents met!
post #10 of 13
I pay for my memberships on Yahoo Personals and Cupid.com. The free meals have more than made up for the cost of the memberships. Since March, I've been out with 6 men and three of them have lasted a month or more (still dating #6 and #2 has become a friend).

Being able to message helps me weed out a lot of bad apples (like the guy who wanted sex on the first date) and it gives me a safe, anonymous place to chat.
post #11 of 13
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone. I don't think I'm really going to subscribe to a paying thing just now.
I've been single for well over 2 years and this is the first time since then that I actively look to meet someone. That one guy I am communicating too does seem like he could at least be an interesting friend.

I try to focus on still being happy by myself (which I am) but I find myself missing being in a relationship more and more. Maybe I just hear my biological clock ticking at the same time that I am becoming pretty sure that I want kids.
post #12 of 13
lol err, yea, my wife owns a dating site, that is how she makes money
you have no idea how many personal adds and pics i have to read. looking for that stuff, and also the number of people that try to post naked pics


lol and just cause they send you message, you dont owe him a cup of coffee,

i would just pick people in different countries that i had never been to, lol i was just looking to chat not meet people. hmmm but that was how i ran into my wife.
post #13 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post

lol and just cause they send you message, you dont owe him a cup of coffee,
I know.
I didn't mean that I will feel obliged to go out for coffee with everyone who sends me a message (heck, I don't even feel obliged to reply to them ). But if we do end up meeting at some point, I'll buy him that coffee.
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