Hi all, last year my (25M) roommate adopted a cat. She was about 3, and he described her as being extremely shy and skittish during her time living alone with him. He had her for about 4 months until he moved into our apartment. I love cats and took to her very quickly, going out of my way to make her feel comfortable and safe in her new environment. In the year we have lived together she’s become a brand new cat. She’s playful, loves to be scratched, she lets me kiss her on the head, and she sits on my lap whenever I sit on the couch. In addition to her attitude changes, she’s extremely attached to me. I work from home so we spend every moment together. When I’m at my desk, she cries until I lay out a blanket for her to sit next to me. When I’m in my room, she’ll come upstairs and snuggle up to me. When I leave, she cries until I come back. I’m the only one in the house she’s comfortable with. My roommate, her “owner” cannot say the same. The cat runs full speed in the opposite direction whenever he approaches her & recoils from her touch whenever he tries to pet her. He doesn’t understand that because she comes from an abusive household he needs to be gentle with her, and I’ve witnessed him pick her up and “bear hug” her multiple times so she cannot escape his grip (only worsening her fear of being held). He’s of the opinion that cats are “independent” but his definition of independence is borderline neglectful. The cat doesn’t get fed unless I feed her. On the off chance he does feed her, he puts an open (rigid & sharp edged) can of wet food down on the hardwood that she usually slides all around the floor trying to get the food she can’t reach from the corners. He never refills her water (I bought her a fountain bc of this). When we go away for the weekend, I insist on hiring a cat sitter whereas he suggests we just lay out several bowls of food and water. I always end up hiring someone to come spend time with her. He buys her cheap name brand Walmart food even though she has a urinary tract issue and needs special food.
In addition to his failures as a cat parent, he’s also a terrible roommate. He’s volatile, rude, and generally miserable to be around. We don’t get along, but I insisted that we resign our lease so I can get one more year with the cat because I’m concerned for what her life will be without me. This roommate is not the type of person you can approach with any comment that can be even slightly construed as criticism, and would react aggressively if I asked outright if I can adopt her. I’ve never broached the subject with him because I know it’s delicate and he’ll be offended. I know I want to ask him if I can take her when our lease ends this year (I can’t take living with him anymore after that). What should I do??
In addition to his failures as a cat parent, he’s also a terrible roommate. He’s volatile, rude, and generally miserable to be around. We don’t get along, but I insisted that we resign our lease so I can get one more year with the cat because I’m concerned for what her life will be without me. This roommate is not the type of person you can approach with any comment that can be even slightly construed as criticism, and would react aggressively if I asked outright if I can adopt her. I’ve never broached the subject with him because I know it’s delicate and he’ll be offended. I know I want to ask him if I can take her when our lease ends this year (I can’t take living with him anymore after that). What should I do??