The "What's on your mind?" Thread -2017

[segelkatt]

 
Not my parents.  Just my mom.  I am in no way related to that piece of garbage.  And I don't know.  In Missouri, she could have.  I don't know about Iowa.  Christi googled it and said Iowa doesn't have emancipation laws for 16 year olds, but I feel like her being pregnant could open up some kind of loophole.

In a previous post you said you could not keep your sister longer because it would be considered kidnapping. If your mom gives her permission to stay with you it would not be kidnapping. 

Being emancipated also means one must show one is capable of taking care of oneself including having an income, otherwise the court will not agree to that. Since your sister is pregnant she should be able to apply for welfare for her unborn child and later for child support from the child's father (yeah, I know there are a lot of deadbeats and he probably is or underage himself).

 

[segelkatt]

 
@Alicia88  

Is your sister in a situation where she can call child services herself?  If so, she should call them every time there is an incident.  You and your other sister should call as well, but she is old enough that they should listen to her.   If they get calls from all three of you every time something happens, perhaps they will start taking this more seriously.  

Another thing you might consider is calling Legal Aid and explaining the situation to them.  If you or your sister were to apply for custody, the judge would take your younger sister's preferences into consideration because she is 16.   

It is really very sad that your mother has been so browbeaten by this person.  

It is too bad that so many women feel that they have no place to go when they are in an abusive relationship. There are always shelters and having some man beat you up and your children too is beyond my comprehension. Churches and shelters can help the mom get situated and get a job so she can take care of her daughter who is going to have a child herself. Where there is a will there is a way. She needs to get away from the abuser, being alone is better than getting abused. But nobody can do it for her, she has to get the ball rolling herself.. 

 

[Margret]

 

 
I have an old, beat up scratching post with a platform for the top.  The thing is, in addition to having destroyed the sisal (thank you for the explanation of how to fix that), every time Jasmine jumps to the top of it she unscrews the platform just a little bit more, until eventually it falls off.  Any idea how to fix it so the platform stays put?

Margret

I assume that the two pieces are put together with a screw of some sort. You can get a lock washer at the hardware store that fits on it and then put the two pieces together again, that should stop Jasmine from unscrewing it. Be sure to really cram it together. Hope this works for you.

Yes, the screw sticks up from the post and there's some kind of a socket that it screws onto.  And Jasmine always jumps up onto the right side, which provides a counterclockwise motion that loosens it further.

Thank you. I'll give that a try.

Margret

 

[Alicia88]

 
In a previous post you said you could not keep your sister longer because it would be considered kidnapping. If your mom gives her permission to stay with you it would not be kidnapping. 

Being emancipated also means one must show one is capable of taking care of oneself including having an income, otherwise the court will not agree to that. Since your sister is pregnant she should be able to apply for welfare for her unborn child and later for child support from the child's father (yeah, I know there are a lot of deadbeats and he probably is or underage himself).

My mother picked her up from me.  I had to give her back or it would be kidnapping.  Her boyfriend is 17.

 
It is too bad that so many women feel that they have no place to go when they are in an abusive relationship. There are always shelters and having some man beat you up and your children too is beyond my comprehension. Churches and shelters can help the mom get situated and get a job so she can take care of her daughter who is going to have a child herself. Where there is a will there is a way. She needs to get away from the abuser, being alone is better than getting abused. But nobody can do it for her, she has to get the ball rolling herself.. 

This is where my mother REALLY confuses me.  She HAS a job.  She's a licensed practical nurse and she makes decent money.  SHE owns the property they were living on before they moved.  The new house is in HER name - she's renting to own.  The vehicles are in HER name.  EVERYTHING is HERS!  He has never done an honest day's work.  He contributes NOTHING and he never has.  If you can think of a way to get her to get rid of him, PLEASE let me know.  She just won't do it.  I don't understand why.  All she would have to do is tell him to leave and call the cops if he tries to come back.I don't get why she wants him!!!

 

[DreamerRose]

 
Yes, the screw sticks up from the post and there's some kind of a socket that it screws onto.  And Jasmine always jumps up onto the right side, which provides a counterclockwise motion that loosens it further.

Thank you. I'll give that a try.

Margret

@Margret  - Try using a screw that is slightly larger than the one that's in it. The larger screw will bite into the wood better and won't work itself loose. For a while. 

 

[Margret]

 

 
Yes, the screw sticks up from the post and there's some kind of a socket that it screws onto.  And Jasmine always jumps up onto the right side, which provides a counterclockwise motion that loosens it further.

Thank you. I'll give that a try.

Margret

@Margret  - Try using a screw that is slightly larger than the one that's in it. The larger screw will bite into the wood better and won't work itself loose. For a while. 

Thank you for the suggestion, but I just took a look at it and can't see any way to do that.  The screw is solidly set in the upright; I'm afraid that any attempt to remove it and replace it with a new one would ruin the whole thing.  I may go to Home Depot and ask for some sort of glue that's strong against shear forces.  Something that will fill in the gaps -- super glue wouldn't work even if it were good with shear forces (which it isn't) because it wouldn't cover a great enough area.  The screw hole is looking a bit ragged.

I'd really like to recover this, because for the time being it's the closest thing Jasmine has to a cat tree.  If I could afford a decent electric saw I'd make her something a bit fancier, but I haven't found a way to manage that.  I think Sears and Home Depot both rent tools; I may end up taking advantage of that.  I have most of the things I need, just no way to cut them up properly.

I'll be keeping my eyes out for tools at both the thrift store and garage sales, though garage sales are pretty much on hold until summer.  And I have a friend who goes to a lot of estate sales and will be checking them for me.

Margret

 

[Margret]

 

 
In a previous post you said you could not keep your sister longer because it would be considered kidnapping. If your mom gives her permission to stay with you it would not be kidnapping. 

Being emancipated also means one must show one is capable of taking care of oneself including having an income, otherwise the court will not agree to that. Since your sister is pregnant she should be able to apply for welfare for her unborn child and later for child support from the child's father (yeah, I know there are a lot of deadbeats and he probably is or underage himself).

My mother picked her up from me.  I had to give her back or it would be kidnapping.  Her boyfriend is 17.

 
It is too bad that so many women feel that they have no place to go when they are in an abusive relationship. There are always shelters and having some man beat you up and your children too is beyond my comprehension. Churches and shelters can help the mom get situated and get a job so she can take care of her daughter who is going to have a child herself. Where there is a will there is a way. She needs to get away from the abuser, being alone is better than getting abused. But nobody can do it for her, she has to get the ball rolling herself.. 

This is where my mother REALLY confuses me.  She HAS a job.  She's a licensed practical nurse and she makes decent money.  SHE owns the property they were living on before they moved.  The new house is in HER name - she's renting to own.  The vehicles are in HER name.  EVERYTHING is HERS!  He has never done an honest day's work.  He contributes NOTHING and he never has.  If you can think of a way to get her to get rid of him, PLEASE let me know.  She just won't do it.  I don't understand why.  All she would have to do is tell him to leave and call the cops if he tries to come back.I don't get why she wants him!!!

Victim psychology.

My husband's father was an abusive man, to his wife, his children, neighbor children -- his best friend disowned him after finding out he'd been feeling up the friend's adolescent daughter!  But my mother-in-law was his first long-term/permanent victim.  Basically, he married her because she had a passive personality and wouldn't oppose him, no matter what.  After he died she joked about disposing of his ashes in a "toilet-side ceremony," and gave every indication of relief, but while he still lived she would not oppose him.  Behind his back she would sometimes do little things as a tacit apology for some of his more hurtful actions, but that was as far as it would go.

You have the disadvantage of not having known your mother when she was a young woman, before you were born, which means that you have little or no chance of figuring out how she came to be this way.  And I'm sorry to say that it's highly unlikely that you can change her.

Margret

 

[tallyollyopia]

 
OK, weighing in on this also. Keep paying the hospital the way you have been as they do not charge you any interest. With your income being erratic to start a credit card is a bad idea as you won't know if you have enough money to pay the card when it is due. The banks make money from credit cards when people do not pay it off every month as they will then charge interest which is added to your balance, every missed payment jacks up the interest rate some more.

For right now stay away from a credit card, even one with a low limit, until you have a steady income you can count on every week or month. You are building credit by having a checking account even if it is a shared account.

Once you have a steady income you can shop around for a credit card  with a low limit and always pay it all off every month, DO NOT let a balance carry over into the next month so don't charge more than you can afford to pay off every month. This is where you need self-control.

When you shop for  a credit card (best done on the internet where you can compare) you won't want one that has a monthly fee but one that has the lowest interest rate just in case you need it.. The best ones are the ones with a "cash back" feature", Discover Card was the first to start that about 40 years ago or more and they are still in business. Many other cards now have that feature also.

Regarding paychecks: the company can require direct deposit but they are still required to give you a pay stub so you can see what kind of deductions were taken and that you were paid for all hours worked, some employers cheat their employees out of money that way.  

The company has a website that we can log onto--off company site, there's no way my manager can see my paystub--and the only iffy thing is that they didn't tell us about it, I found it through Google while I was trying to get in touch with the insurance company.

 

[segelkatt]

 
Thank you for the suggestion, but I just took a look at it and can't see any way to do that.  The screw is solidly set in the upright; I'm afraid that any attempt to remove it and replace it with a new one would ruin the whole thing.  I may go to Home Depot and ask for some sort of glue that's strong against shear forces.  Something that will fill in the gaps -- super glue wouldn't work even if it were good with shear forces (which it isn't) because it wouldn't cover a great enough area.  The screw hole is looking a bit ragged.

I'd really like to recover this, because for the time being it's the closest thing Jasmine has to a cat tree.  If I could afford a decent electric saw I'd make her something a bit fancier, but I haven't found a way to manage that.  I think Sears and Home Depot both rent tools; I may end up taking advantage of that.  I have most of the things I need, just no way to cut them up properly.

I'll be keeping my eyes out for tools at both the thrift store and garage sales, though garage sales are pretty much on hold until summer.  And I have a friend who goes to a lot of estate sales and will be checking them for me.

Margret

If putting a lock washer on the screw does not solve the problem you can fill in the hole with wood putty and then put the top back on after the wood putty has hardened a bit but not all the way. Then wait until it is completely set before letting Jasmine at it again.

 

[segelkatt]

 
Victim psychology.

My husband's father was an abusive man, to his wife, his children, neighbor children -- his best friend disowned him after finding out he'd been feeling up the friend's adolescent daughter!  But my mother-in-law was his first long-term/permanent victim.  Basically, he married her because she had a passive personality and wouldn't oppose him, no matter what.  After he died she joked about disposing of his ashes in a "toilet-side ceremony," and gave every indication of relief, but while he still lived she would not oppose him.  Behind his back she would sometimes do little things as a tacit apology for some of his more hurtful actions, but that was as far as it would go.

You have the disadvantage of not having known your mother when she was a young woman, before you were born, which means that you have little or no chance of figuring out how she came to be this way.  And I'm sorry to say that it's highly unlikely that you can change her.

Margret

@Alicia 88 - you  might want to ask your mother why she does not throw the bum out and letting him abuse her and your sister. It may not get her to do just that but it might give you an understanding of her actions. The next time he abuses your sister she should run, not walk, to the closest police station and press charges against him for domestic violence.  If there are visible scratches or bruises so much the better. She should also insist that she be taken into protective custody, Protective Child Services should be there for her also since she is underage. She should make a lot of noise about not returning home, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

 

[Margret]

Okay, first some back story for newbies on the site; refer to this only if something I say isn't obvious:

In 2012 I had a 5 cm. benign brain tumor removed from my right frontal lobe.  It was a very slow growing tumor; for it to have gotten that big the lead surgeon concluded that it must have begun about ten years before.  This checks with the fact that I remember very little from 2002 through the first half of 2012.  Apparently the tumor interfered with the formation of new memories.  I refer to those years as "my lost decade."

The way the tumor came to be found is that I did something stupid which resulted in a fall and a left forearm broken in three places.  This got me to the hospital where Roger, my husband, asked them to do an MRI on my brain, as long as we were in Imaging anyway for the arm, and I didn't object because I wanted to know why I had done something stupid.  Of course, once they'd found the brain tumor the broken arm was on hold -- they set it and put it in a cast, but the surgery needed to repair it didn't happen until after the brain surgery.  My left arm now has little titanium plates and screws inside, holding the bones together (of course, now that they've knit the plates and screws are no longer necessary, but there's no way to get them out).  After the surgery the arm was in a cast for months, and the ligaments in my hand shortened.  I still do occupational therapy on the hand daily, trying to get the strength and reach back so that I can once again do things like play guitar, crochet, and tat (a form of lace making that I've been doing since I was twelve or so).  There is also some apparent nerve damage in the hand which makes it rather clumsy.

Today, I have pocket knives on my mind.

So, before my lost decade I owned a really good little Swiss Army knife.  Small, the perfect size to fit in the little watch pocket of my blue jeans.  It had a knife blade, a fingernail file, and scissors, plus the little pull-out tweezers and tooth pick, and that was it.  The thing about this knife that made it different from most others, however, is that it wasn't made by Victorinox.  Most people don't know that there was a second company that made Swiss Army knives, a little family owned company named Wenger.  And Wenger did a much better job with the scissors than Victorinox.  Wenger knife scissors don't have that little spring that always breaks; instead they have an ingenious lever that's part of the knife.  It works as well as the spring, but it never breaks.  Additionally, the Wenger finger nail file has a proper nail file point, whereas Victorinox files tended to have a flat-blade screwdriver instead of a proper point on their nail files.  This is doubtless useful for some people, but if you actually want to use the nail file to clean your nails, it's a dud.  Also, I used that knife for craft projects, and a proper pointy nail file was perfect for things like scoring paper so you could crease it in the perfect spot.

Anyhow, at the end of my lost decade, once I was past the immediate difficulties of headaches and a painful arm, I went looking for my pocket knife and I couldn't find it.  I got a replacement at the mall, but it was a Victorinox knife, with all of the problems that entails.  It was a grief to me.  I checked on Wenger's website, and they were no longer making the little knife that I really wanted.  When I couldn't think of anything else, I talked about my frustration with Roger, and he suggested that I check EBay for a "classic Wenger Swiss Army knife."  I did, and found one, to my great relief, for $10 or $15, and I've been carrying it constantly ever since.

Then, about a month ago, I was sitting in my recliner in the living room, wearing my warm bathrobe with the kangaroo sweat shirt pocket, and I fell asleep.  Things fell out of the pocket.  Most of them I found immediately upon waking up, but the knife was gone.  It had gotten down between the seat and the side of the recliner and I couldn't feel it to fish it out. 

  Well, not a disaster yet.  In the meantime I had seen that Wenger had begun manufacturing a similar knife again, and had bookmarked the page against future need.  So I went to that bookmark and clicked on it, and got a 404 Not Found error. 

  Did some more research online.  It seems that Victorinox has bought out Wenger.  They're keeping all of the employees on, and are continuing to use Wenger's factory, but Wenger doesn't really exist any longer.  There are still some knives being manufactured under their name, but not the one I was looking for.  I went to Amazon and searched for "small Wenger Swiss army knife" and found this: , except it wasn't $35, it was $60.  I also found this:   It isn't Wenger, it's Victorinox, but apparently either it was made in the old Wenger factory or else, with Victorinox having bought out Wenger they now have the patent on the good scissors and are going gung-ho on making knives with sturdier scissors, because I saw a lot of Victorinox knives on Amazon that have lever scissors, including this one.  It was ~$21 (prices keep changing on Amazon), it looked thicker than I want for a watch pocket knife, but at least it had all the implements I wanted and a pocket nail clipper on my knife seemed like a good idea, so I bought it.  It arrived Friday.

In the meantime, last week I lost my good Logitech cordless mouse.  Searched everywhere, including between the seat cushion and arm of my recliner and couldn't find it.  (Eventually I found it in the side pocket of the recliner.  Where I had already searched three times!)  But, while searching for it, I found my nice pocket knife.  Whoo!  Great sigh of relief, and in the process of searching for links this morning I found that the price of a replacement for it has gone down a great deal in the last month, which is also a relief.

However, the point of this post is actually about the new knife with the nail clippers. 

1. I was right.  This knife is too thick to be a comfortable pocket knife for me.  It's okay for carrying in my purse, however, and it won't casually slide down between the seat cushion and the arm of my recliner.  Basically, this knife is as thick as it is wide.
2. The nail file has a proper nail file point, and the thicker knife body makes it easier to use for craft projects.
3. The scissors do, indeed, have a lever rather than a spring.
4. The clippers are surprisingly good.  They're not big enough to use to clip your toe nails comfortably, but for fingernails they work just fine.  Also, to use them you grip the knife between all four fingers and the palm of your hand and press on the lever with your thumb.  This means that I can use them comfortably with my left hand, without fumbling and dropping the knife.  It also means that I can use this much more easily to clip Jasmine's claws, because I hold it more securely than a standard nail clipper and don't fumble it while I'm trying to get a proper grip on her paw, plus which I can use it in either hand.

Margret

 

[Alicia88]

The closest police station is 14 miles away so the best she can do is call.  I told her to tell them she absolutely refuses to live with those people again.  But she has to be able to call.  I haven't heard from her since my mother picked her up so I think her phone has been taken away again.

 

[Alicia88]

 
Okay, first some back story for newbies on the site; refer to this only if something I say isn't obvious:

In 2012 I had a 5 cm. benign brain tumor removed from my right frontal lobe.  It was a very slow growing tumor; for it to have gotten that big the lead surgeon concluded that it must have begun about ten years before.  This checks with the fact that I remember very little from 2002 through the first half of 2012.  Apparently the tumor interfered with the formation of new memories.  I refer to those years as "my lost decade."

The way the tumor came to be found is that I did something stupid which resulted in a fall and a left forearm broken in three places.  This got me to the hospital where Roger, my husband, asked them to do an MRI on my brain, as long as we were in Imaging anyway for the arm, and I didn't object because I wanted to know why I had done something stupid.  Of course, once they'd found the brain tumor the broken arm was on hold -- they set it and put it in a cast, but the surgery needed to repair it didn't happen until after the brain surgery.  My left arm now has little titanium plates and screws inside, holding the bones together (of course, now that they've knit the plates and screws are no longer necessary, but there's no way to get them out).  After the surgery the arm was in a cast for months, and the ligaments in my hand shortened.  I still do occupational therapy on the hand daily, trying to get the strength and reach back so that I can once again do things like play guitar, crochet, and tat (a form of lace making that I've been doing since I was twelve or so).  There is also some apparent nerve damage in the hand which makes it rather clumsy.

Today, I have pocket knives on my mind.

So, before my lost decade I owned a really good little Swiss Army knife.  Small, the perfect size to fit in the little watch pocket of my blue jeans.  It had a knife blade, a fingernail file, and scissors, plus the little pull-out tweezers and tooth pick, and that was it.  The thing about this knife that made it different from most others, however, is that it wasn't made by Victorinox.  Most people don't know that there was a second company that made Swiss Army knives, a little family owned company named Wenger.  And Wenger did a much better job with the scissors than Victorinox.  Wenger knife scissors don't have that little spring that always breaks; instead they have an ingenious lever that's part of the knife.  It works as well as the spring, but it never breaks.  Additionally, the Wenger finger nail file has a proper nail file point, whereas Victorinox files tended to have a flat-blade screwdriver instead of a proper point on their nail files.  This is doubtless useful for some people, but if you actually want to use the nail file to clean your nails, it's a dud.  Also, I used that knife for craft projects, and a proper pointy nail file was perfect for things like scoring paper so you could crease it in the perfect spot.

Anyhow, at the end of my lost decade, once I was past the immediate difficulties of headaches and a painful arm, I went looking for my pocket knife and I couldn't find it.  I got a replacement at the mall, but it was a Victorinox knife, with all of the problems that entails.  It was a grief to me.  I checked on Wenger's website, and they were no longer making the little knife that I really wanted.  When I couldn't think of anything else, I talked about my frustration with Roger, and he suggested that I check EBay for a "classic Wenger Swiss Army knife."  I did, and found one, to my great relief, for $10 or $15, and I've been carrying it constantly ever since.

Then, about a month ago, I was sitting in my recliner in the living room, wearing my warm bathrobe with the kangaroo sweat shirt pocket, and I fell asleep.  Things fell out of the pocket.  Most of them I found immediately upon waking up, but the knife was gone.  It had gotten down between the seat and the side of the recliner and I couldn't feel it to fish it out. 

  Well, not a disaster yet.  In the meantime I had seen that Wenger had begun manufacturing a similar knife again, and had bookmarked the page against future need.  So I went to that bookmark and clicked on it, and got a 404 Not Found error. 

  Did some more research online.  It seems that Victorinox has bought out Wenger.  They're keeping all of the employees on, and are continuing to use Wenger's factory, but Wenger doesn't really exist any longer.  There are still some knives being manufactured under their name, but not the one I was looking for.  I went to Amazon and searched for "small Wenger Swiss army knife" and found this: , except it wasn't $35, it was $60.  I also found this:   It isn't Wenger, it's Victorinox, but apparently either it was made in the old Wenger factory or else, with Victorinox having bought out Wenger they now have the patent on the good scissors and are going gung-ho on making knives with sturdier scissors, because I saw a lot of Victorinox knives on Amazon that have lever scissors, including this one.  It was ~$21 (prices keep changing on Amazon), it looked thicker than I want for a watch pocket knife, but at least it had all the implements I wanted and a pocket nail clipper on my knife seemed like a good idea, so I bought it.  It arrived Friday.

In the meantime, last week I lost my good Logitech cordless mouse.  Searched everywhere, including between the seat cushion and arm of my recliner and couldn't find it.  (Eventually I found it in the side pocket of the recliner.  Where I had already searched three times!)  But, while searching for it, I found my nice pocket knife.  Whoo!  Great sigh of relief, and in the process of searching for links this morning I found that the price of a replacement for it has gone down a great deal in the last month, which is also a relief.

However, the point of this post is actually about the new knife with the nail clippers. 

1. I was right.  This knife is too thick to be a comfortable pocket knife for me.  It's okay for carrying in my purse, however, and it won't casually slide down between the seat cushion and the arm of my recliner.  Basically, this knife is as thick as it is wide.
2. The nail file has a proper nail file point, and the thicker knife body makes it easier to use for craft projects.
3. The scissors do, indeed, have a lever rather than a spring.
4. The clippers are surprisingly good.  They're not big enough to use to clip your toe nails comfortably, but for fingernails they work just fine.  Also, to use them you grip the knife between all four fingers and the palm of your hand and press on the lever with your thumb.  This means that I can use them comfortably with my left hand, without fumbling and dropping the knife.  It also means that I can use this much more easily to clip Jasmine's claws, because I hold it more securely than a standard nail clipper and don't fumble it while I'm trying to get a proper grip on her paw, plus which I can use it in either hand.

Margret

Usually when I lose something, it stays lost until I'm looking for something else.  Then I find the first thing.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Pocket knives...Never did see much in a pocket knife, although they are certainly useful.  Now, SWORDS, I adore.  Best Christmas ever was when my ex gave me a pair of black pearl earrings and a pair of swords...said it just seemed to suit me.  I said, "Which one" and he replied, "YES!"

 

[Margret]

 
Usually when I lose something, it stays lost until I'm looking for something else.  Then I find the first thing.

Usually when I lose something, it stays lost until I spend money to replace it, then it shows up.  When I'm looking for something else.  Which I also have to replace before finding.

Margret

 

[margd]

 
Usually when I lose something, it stays lost until I spend money to replace it, then it shows up.  When I'm looking for something else.  Which I also have to replace before finding.

Margret

Maybe this will happen to me.  I've searched my apartment for the three brushes that clean out Chula and Paul's fountain but they are nowhere to be seen.  They had a home and everything so all I can think of is that I absentmindedly stored them in the trash.  Now I have three fountain-cleaning brushes in my amazon cart so perhaps the other three will come out of hiding. Assuming they are not taking up room in a landfill somewhere.  

 

[Alicia88]

We had orientation.  John starts work Thursday at 10:30am and I start Thursday at 4:30 pm.  I had to get a pair of dark blue jeans without holes (all mine are "fashionably" holey), a black belt, and black non-skid shoes.  I borrowed money from my Grandma and got it all for less than $60 (plus a 6 pack of cute socks because of Payless' BOGO thing).  And Payless has a contract to give 25% off for people who work at Colton's and that applied to my cute new sock as well.  So, yippee.  John just needed the jeans cuz he already had suitable shoes and a belt and his mom loaned him the money for those.  So, we're all set.

And I STILL haven't heard anything from my sister.  If she doesn't get ahold of me tomorrow, I'm sending the cops to check on her.

 

[Alicia88]

DD messaged me and said she's fine.  She used the code word I gave her to prove that it's her and not one of them posing as her.  Yeah, I sound paranoid, but I don't trust them.

 

[segelkatt]

 
The closest police station is 14 miles away so the best she can do is call.  I told her to tell them she absolutely refuses to live with those people again.  But she has to be able to call.  I haven't heard from her since my mother picked her up so I think her phone has been taken away again.

She should still run away as fast and as far as she can go and call from a pay phone. Even if she does not have a dime most convenience stores will call the cops for her and even hide her from any pursuer who might be coming her way trying to  get her back. She just has to be determined to get away and not let anyone try to talk her into going back to the same place. Even putting her into a jail cell or juvenile hall  to keep her would be better for her, at least she'd be safe until a judge could decide where she should be.

Do you know why her mother even picked her up, knowing that at least she would be safe from abuse while staying with you? I hate to say this, but your mother by not keeping your sister safe from abuse is an accessory to abuse and would be liable if someone wanted to push the issue.

 

[Alicia88]

I agree with you.  My mom used to fight back and protect us from him.  I said before that the first time he hit me, I was 4 years old.  Mom fought him and stopped him but she never pressed charges.  She could always hold her own against him.  But he's beaten her down so much, she doesn't fight back.  She does whatever he says and never stands up for herself and she stopped protecting us a long time ago.  I have such a hard time wrapping my head around it.  My mother hasn't been my mother for a long time.  I can barely remember that person anymore.  She's just an empty shell.