My cat has kind of left home

[sharyn]

HI

I got a 12 week old kitten 3 months ago - there was no preparation - the cat was just thrust on me - and my cat of 2 years old - didnt like the kitten because he was a) incredibly playful and bullish b)  in his territory.  He has never left home but was very confused but came home and slept and ate etc.  The weather turned very warm and he was out all the time but ate at my place and sometimes slept here but it was hot so stayed out.  The kitten then became able to go out, has been neutered and is now 7 months old.  My cat older cat comes and eats here but whenever he sees me he runs out and has stopped sleeping here at night.  When it rained a few nights ago he slept here mostly adjacent to the kitten in another box.  They play in the garden all the time together as they are both young in the evening - I never see him in the day = the little is very bullish and playful with all the cats that share this garden,  ..The older one reserved and frightened - I got him because he came to stay and when the owner returned he didnt want to go as he was being abused I learned this.   He a frightened cat and not very affectionate but I love him and am devastated that he has seemed to be sleeping somewhere else = as it has turned a bit cold now.  I dont know what I can do = he comes here in the evening and hangs around outside with the kitten but wont sleep here = we give him treats etc.  My partner says he will return when it gets colder but I think he has a place to go now and I am really upset that he feels rejected or like his home is gone.  Is there anything I can do.  I am so sad I do everything to encourage him to come in when I see him daily.....Thanks

 

[Ms. Freya]

It sounds like the older cat feels displaced by the younger. Is it possible to give the older cat a place that's just his? Ideally, if he has a place he can come to and not just food, you may be able to re-introduce him to your house. Also, can you keep the younger cat inside when you encourage the older one to come up? If he doesn't see or shear the younger one, that may help as well.

From your post, it sounds like he no longer comes in the house at all, though, so if he no longer comes at all, you could try trapping him and bringing him in, but you'd likely need to keep him inside fulltime.

I'm sure at least one of our other members has run into something similar and will be along soon with more suggestions.

 

[sharyn]

Hi

Thanks so much for responding. Yes the older cat does feel displaced by the younger one. The older cat is a full outdoor cat and trapping him doesn't work. I did try to put him In the bed that we jus created for him just tonight but he wouldn't stay. I am not sure where he is going but it is clear that he is still eating all the time from our house. I will have to let him go but keep feeding him and hope that as the weather gets colder and colder he will come in and establish himself again. Thanks again for responding. I am sad..

 

[rchlfarina]

I have a similar problem with my older cat. I brought him in full time but he cries at night and tries to escape. It's been two weeks. I need help too

 

[sharyn]

Did you get a younger cat too? and the older one feels abandoned...Ah it's so so sad. You can't force cats can you..

 

[Ms. Freya]

Ah it's so so sad. You can't force cats can you..

No, you really can't...if he's outdoor only, likely the best you can do is offer him a space that's just his, maybe somewhere quiet and hope he takes to it. The more you try to force cats, the more likely he'll be to go elsewhere.

rchlfarina - Cats can take quite awhile to adjust to being inside. Also, if the cat isn't spayed or neutered, they likely will try to get back out. One thing you could try is letting him out into an enclosed porch or cat enclosure. There are some great tips in the Strays & Ferals forums on helping cats acclimatize to being inside.

http://www.thecatsite.com/f/9/caring-for-strays-and-ferals

 

[ritz]

I agree--don't force the cat to stay indoors, he'll/she'll only want to escape all the more.
Keep on feeding; keep on offering enticements to stay indoors, like a soft bed or toys.
And hope that when the weather gets colder, he'll stay indoors more than outdoors.
(And spay/neuter if not already).

 

[feralvr]

It is always THE hardest part of caring for multiple cat's that are outdoor kitties. There is not much that can be done when a new cat is added and it will definitely cause a disruption in the social dynamics. When he comes around, give him very special treats, special affection, special food and try to put the kitten inside during his visits. Indoors is much safer for all cat's anyway but I understand that it is not always possible when you are caring and taking in stray kitties. I wonder if you could build an outdoor enclosure for the kitten during the day and then keep the kitten indoors at night? This way your other cat will feel more confident about coming back knowing the kitten won't be ambushing him all the time. Otherwise, unfortunately, there is not much you can do that you are not already doing. I would lavish extra special attention when he does come around. Food, treats, brushings, petting, etc. etc. I would also set up a few winter cat shelters for the cats because most times they don't want to share sleeping together in the same shelter. for your kitties. and for you because I know how hard this can be on the heart when you feel so helpless. For outdoor kitties, we have no control over these things.

 

[mservant]

How hard, especially when you say taking in the younger cat was not something you were prepared for.   Cats do vote with their paws but with your older cat still coming home for food a dn playing in the garden at least he is still identifying with your home even if he is unsure about coming in.  Forming a warm shelter he can use if he doesn't come in as the weather gets colder sounds like a sensible idea.  Nights seem to have suddenly got much colder this week and I feel for you as you think of him ouside now.  

Keep offering him treats and comfort and try to find time when the kitten is not allowed out and perhaps not near the access to your home as this might make it feel safer and more welcoming for him.  Maybe having the kitten in a bedroom or upstairs area of your home at a time that you could place food just inside your door and encourage the older cat to come in and see he can have space without the kitten there.  Try to get the older cat's scent back on you and on your home as well as the kitten's.

Good luck, I hope he comes back given space, time, and lots of bribes. 

 

[sharyn]

It is always THE hardest part of caring for multiple cat's that are outdoor kitties. There is not much that can be done when a new cat is added and it will definitely cause a disruption in the social dynamics. When he comes around, give him very special treats, special affection, special food and try to put the kitten inside during his visits. Indoors is much safer for all cat's anyway but I understand that it is not always possible when you are caring and taking in stray kitties. I wonder if you could build an outdoor enclosure for the kitten during the day and then keep the kitten indoors at night? This way your other cat will feel more confident about coming back knowing the kitten won't be ambushing him all the time. Otherwise, unfortunately, there is not much you can do that you are not already doing. I would lavish extra special attention when he does come around. Food, treats, brushings, petting, etc. etc. I would also set up a few winter cat shelters for the cats because most times they don't want to share sleeping together in the same shelter. for your kitties. and for you because I know how hard this can be on the heart when you feel so helpless. For outdoor kitties, we have no control over these things.

 

[sharyn]

Thanks so much for your time and energy. That's exactly what happens the kitten ambushs him and also the other cats 3 in the garden. I think it's kitten play and of course territorial. He's also newly neutered. I think the enclosure on the garden might be an idea but of course there's all the other cats many who use the gardens. Cats like to hide away. Anyway he's very healthy - great coat is beautiful and gets fed every day from us. He not friendly never has been was abused when young.you can't really touch him so hope he will be ok. Hope he is warm wherever he goes at night. Funny how we worry so about them. My partner says he's fine after all he gets amazingly beautiful food and get treats all the time. ..Thanks again..

 

[sharyn]

Thanks so much. You are in the UK so you know the weather has changed a lot this week. Since he comes back every morning and night to eat I think he's not living anywhere else. But I am totally curious as to where they find warmth when it's cold. Last week when it rained he came home and slept next to the other cat in a basket. We have 2 baskets by the door and sometimes he sleeps in one of them. They are so mysterious these animals I suppose that's why we like them. Anyway i appreciate your help. Never been in one of these forums for a very lo g time. Have a good Saturday...

 

[feralvr]

Thanks so much for your time and energy. That's exactly what happens the kitten ambushs him and also the other cats 3 in the garden. I think it's kitten play and of course territorial. He's also newly neutered. I think the enclosure on the garden might be an idea but of course there's all the other cats many who use the gardens. Cats like to hide away. Anyway he's very healthy - great coat is beautiful and gets fed every day from us. He not friendly never has been was abused when young.you can't really touch him so hope he will be ok. Hope he is warm wherever he goes at night. Funny how we worry so about them. My partner says he's fine after all he gets amazingly beautiful food and get treats all the time. ..Thanks again..

He sounds perfectly healthy to me from what you describe and in all honesty, it sounds like he has a very, very good life with you whenever he wants it - you will be there. Don't fret - he WILL be alright and must know how to keep himself safe. You are right - we do worry about the outdoor kitties so much more because we cannot keep them consistently safe from harm and we have not control over their comings and goings. Impossible to do so we have to accept the life they lead and know that we are there for them to offer shelter, food and love, whenever they need. It really is not a bad life and sometimes, I think they rather enjoy their freedom. Still, hard on us... the not knowing part when they disappear for periods of time.

 

[sharyn]

Thanks for your thought and the garden/shelter closure idea. I will alwAys feed him and if he wants to live somewhere else and is doing so well I have to let him go....your cat is very very beautiful....

 

[sharyn]

My cat is home and on the bed with the kitten!!  Its raining so I think he will come home when the weather is bad and eventually be here all the time.  The kitten is a pain but I think on some level he knows it and leaves when it all gets too much but this is definitely his home still.. Thanks again...

 

[feralvr]

My cat is home and on the bed with the kitten!!  Its raining so I think he will come home when the weather is bad and eventually be here all the time.  The kitten is a pain but I think on some level he knows it and leaves when it all gets too much but this is definitely his home still.. Thanks again...

:happy3: I am SOOO happy for you !!!!!! This is even more of a positive update than I had ever expected to hear too!!! Inside, and on the bed. :shocker: Well, will wonder's never cease. I bet in time he and your little rambunctious kitten may even become fast friends. Time and patience and a little of courage on our part to let them figure things out on their own. Glad that we could be of support for you here and keep us posted.

 

[sharyn]

I can't seem to figure out how to post a new thread to the public on my mobile/cell phone so I will leave it for now and thanks for the good wishes.

 

[mservant]

Thank you for posting this update.  It is such good news.  What a lovely sight for you seeing them on the bed together.  Fingers crossed things keep heading in this direction and you have your boy home as the weather gets colder (and wetter).

 

[sharyn]

Yes let's hope so. Thank you. You are all so supportive and lovely. Great to have all this cat loving support.

 

[feralvr]

I can't seem to figure out how to post a new thread to the public on my mobile/cell phone so I will leave it for now and thanks for the good wishes.

Yeah - with my iPhone - I am still learning how to do things on it and I have had it for two years. :lol3: Amazing all it can do but have no clue how to make it do the fancy stuff.