I cry as I read your story, I also feel terrible guilt and anguish over the senseless death of my beloved Chrissy 9 months ago. I still cry and feel so incredibly sad when I think of her, I'm crying right now to think that someone else has to go through this. We did give our babies incredible amounts of love, that's why we hurt so bad now. You have to mourn your great loss, there is nothing going to help you but time and the support of others. You had no way of knowing anything like this was going to happen, you would have moved heaven and earth to prevent it if you could. Hold her in your heart, she knew she was loved. RIP beautiful Bella, your mama will meet you at the Rainbow Bridge one day!