Will/inheritance/registered letter question

[margecat]

I figured it would be faster to get an answer from someone here!

As some of you know, Mom died June 5th. The week after her death, her lawyers sent me a letter saying that she died testate, which I already knew; in fact, I even knew what percentage of the estate being left to me, as Mom told me years ago, etc. I paid to have a copy of the will sent to me, which arrived this week.

My brother, who does not speak to me, is the executor, so, if anything's happening with the estate, he probably wouldn't call me, etc. Mom didn't have much debt, unless there were some medical bills, so I don't expect the process would be prolonged, but you never know. I'm not anxious about the money--I just miss Mom. But, I would like to know how you are notified that you have actually inherited anything. I've never been through this before, so I am curious. I'm especially curious as I got a notice for a registered letter (not a package) from the post office, which I'm having redelivered Saturday. I'm not expecting a registered letter, so I wonder if it's about the estate, or something else sinister (registered letters usually aren't good, if your not expecting them, I guess!).

Has anyone else been though this, and can you give me a basic idea of what to expect? I know that each state has different laws, etc., but a general idea woudl help. Thanks.

 

[natalie_ca]

When my grandmother died, we received a phone call from my Aunt who was the executor and we were asked to go to her house.

If you and your brother aren't talking, maybe he decided to send a registered letter with your cheque.

I don't know the circumstances behind the discord between you, but I've had my own issues with my brother and had gone years without speaking to or seeing him. At some point I decided that life is too short, and that he is my only brother and that while I don't always like him, I do love him. He and I sat down, had a nice long talk and cleared the air of a bunch of trash from years ago. We each learned that we were both hurting and were dealing with that hurt in different ways. And we both made a promise to make a more conscious effort to be part of each other's lives.

My advice to you is that you be the bigger person and contact him. Be the first to reach out. After all you are family.

 

[swampwitch]

Just a word of caution: your brother, as executor, is legally authorized to transfer all of your mother's estate into his possession. (!) He doesn't have to do it that way, but he can. From there, he is supposed to fairly divide it and give you your share. (He has a couple of years to do it, no rush for him.) Look what the letter is first, but you might very well need an attorney to fight for your interests. If your brother "loses" the money, "gives away" the assets, etc. there will be nothing left for you. That's not legal but it happens all the time just the same. You need to be especially cautious since you are not on good terms with him - some children turn into greed and sell their siblings down the river, it's not rare. Please be careful.

Sorry about the loss of your mom.

 

[margecat]

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

Just a word of caution: your brother, as executor, is legally authorized to transfer all of your mother's estate into his possession. (!) He doesn't have to do it that way, but he can. From there, he is supposed to fairly divide it and give you your share. (He has a couple of years to do it, no rush for him.) Look what the letter is first, but you might very well need an attorney to fight for your interests. If your brother "loses" the money, "gives away" the assets, etc. there will be nothing left for you. That's not legal but it happens all the time just the same. You need to be especially cautious since you are not on good terms with him - some children turn into greed and sell their siblings down the river, it's not rare. Please be careful.

Sorry about the loss of your mom.

Yeah, that occurred to me, as well. One good thing, though--I do have 1 brother, out of the 3, who does speak to me, and I'm on friendly terms with--and he's the one Mom lived with--so I think he'd look out for my interests--or at least, if I questioned anything, would make the other brother tow the line. I haven't had a chance to call him to chat, the past month--I was very sick until recently (a bad sore throat/coughing/bronchitis, so speaking was uncomfortable, so I didn't call him), so I have no idea what's going on. Like I said, I don't really care about the inheritance--it won't bring my Mom back--but I certainly wouldn't mind whatever money she left me.

And thank you for your condolences. As some of you may remember, Mom and I were on somewhat rocky ground at times, but I loved her, and really do miss her. I just can't get over the fact that I'll never see her nor hear her voice ever again. And my family's nonsense doesn't help the grieving process. They, apart from the "good" brother, never even contacted me after Mom died to see how I was doing. Mom had no funeral, so there was no chance of family togetherness. "Good" brother did mention that the others wanted to get together at his house to have an informal celebration of Mom's life, but he's a in a wheelchair, so it's hard for him to do. I then suggested that we could put our differences aside, and have it at my house, since it's the largest in the family, and I love entetaining, so I thought it would be a good idea. He said he'd pass the idea on to them, but that was on in early June, and I guess they want nothing to do with me.

Can you believe that all of this discord is over the fact that DH supposedly snubbed the fiance of SIL's sister, 6 years ago?!?! Dh, who, as I remember, had never met Tom, and only once met Lynne, is being blamed for supposedly reaching into a freezer case in a warehouse club store, and not saying "Hi" to them! How could he do that, if he had not met them?!?! "Good" brother told me this a few years ago. This is why we weren't invited to Lynne's wedding, 6 months after she attended ours, and we were lied to about the wedding, so we wouldn't show up (I caught them in the lie). When I confronted my SIL about this, she got nasty, and that's when the rest of the family, including Mom, took her side over me. They will not speak to me even in public--they will speak to DH, standing beside me, and walk right past me, giving me a dirty look. They've done this several times. I'm also not invited to family events.

 

[Winchester]

I"m sorry about your mother. That has to be very difficult for you.

I'm the oldest of three wth a sister and a brother. My brother and I have always gotten along well and we're very close, always have been. My sister and I have had our share of issues and didn't speak for about 14 years or so, but when my niece was getting married, she and my nephew decided that enough was enough. We got the invitation to the wedding, went to the wedding and the reception and was greeted by my sister with a huge hug and tears on both sides. It's probably one of the best things that has happened to us in a long, long time. I love having a sister again, somebody I can hang out with, chat with, and do things with. We're having a ball together. And I love being around my niece and her husband and my nephew and his wife.

So much time wasted over stupid stuff. We should both have our heads examined and our butts kicked.

And you know what I'm so thankful for? We managed to get back together before our dad passed away. The one thing in the world he wanted was for my sister and I to get back together. And we did it. And he cried.

Try again to contact your brother. It's important.

 

[margecat]

Originally Posted by Winchester

I"m sorry about your mother. That has to be very difficult for you.

I'm the oldest of three wth a sister and a brother. My brother and I have always gotten along well and we're very close, always have been. My sister and I have had our share of issues and didn't speak for about 14 years or so, but when my niece was getting married, she and my nephew decided that enough was enough. We got the invitation to the wedding, went to the wedding and the reception and was greeted by my sister with a huge hug and tears on both sides. It's probably one of the best things that has happened to us in a long, long time. I love having a sister again, somebody I can hang out with, chat with, and do things with. We're having a ball together. And I love being around my niece and her husband and my nephew and his wife.

So much time wasted over stupid stuff. We should both have our heads examined and our butts kicked.

And you know what I'm so thankful for? We managed to get back together before our dad passed away. The one thing in the world he wanted was for my sister and I to get back together. And we did it. And he cried.

Try again to contact your brother. It's important.

Yes, I agree with the idea of getting back together. However, as I said above, I HAVE made overtures, and they are not acted upon. I don't think there's much that can be done when someone won't reciprocate. I'd like to explain something: up until all of that nonsense THEY started, I always got along with my family--not saying I really liked my brothers as people, but I was loyal, and would've done anything for them--even after the split. They're the ones with the problem, IMHO. I forgot to mention a big part of the problem: both DH and my best friend overheard the 2 brothers talking at a family function shortly after I became engaged to DH. They said that I had no right to leave Mom and get married--she needed me, and I was being selfish (yeah, now YOU both have to help out with your own mom--I carried that burden all of my adult life, and did it cheerfully--even turning down a marriage proposal that would've taken me 700 miles away to live--because I didn't want to be so far away from Mom.). How can I reason with people like this? And frankly, nowadays, I don't think I really want anything to do with them. They've always talked down to me, criticised me, etc. I made the decision that I could either spend the rest of my life trying to please people who won't ever be pleased, or just get on with my life. I chose the latter. If they did come to me to reconcile, I probably would do that.

 

[spudsmom]

To address your registered letter....usually registered letters are something of value. Certified letters are the dread of most of my customers. they are usually not good news at all. We handle both as accountables, but are held personally responsible for the registered letters. So we guard those harder, like not letting you touch it until you've signed for it. Hope that lessens your dread a bit more.

 

[crazyforinfo]

Since the lawyer already sent you a letter he/she knows what you should receive. Have you contacted this lawyer? If anything is left in the estate after debt/expenses you should receive a check in the mail once everything is settled.

I am sorry for your loss.