- Joined
- Nov 20, 2019
- Messages
- 13
- Purraise
- 45
The last time I wrote on this forum was almost exactly four years ago. My original post is here: I know I probably made the right decision... but I feel terrible and devastated
Quick recap: we had to put our eldest cat to sleep because her thyroid was shut, the cure which was an expensive radiology procedure was not available in my country and daily medication and monthly (or even bi-weekly) visits to the clinic were not an option: at heart she was still a feral cat. I felt very guilty about not being able to help her and so the next cat we took had kidney disease. I thought I'm going to try and make her life as comfortable as possible.
Thursday night we buried that cat next to our other pets in our summerhouse. This time I'm not writing this post not to seek solace but rather as a comforting message to other grieving people here. Sometimes you can give it everything, and it might seem that you've finally overcome all odds, and it will won't be enough.
To cut a long story short, the average life expectancy of a cat with a diagnosis of kidney disease is 2 years 2 months. I remember going to the vet with her for a check-up and after an ultrasound hearing the sentence "please prepare yourself, she will be gone very soon". That was in June... of 2020.
Meanwhile it turned out she had an untreated chronic bladder infection, which we managed to get rid of due to a correct diagnosis and treatment plan. That was almost two years ago.
She also had problems with intermittent seizures which came back with a vengeance after a very long break, in the autumn of this year. She also began to show signs of anemia. We went to the vet a total of five times in the last few months with these two issues.
But she overcame all those health problems. About a month ago we went for a check-up with her main doctor and got a clean bill of health (considering the circumstances):
- despite the kidney disease diagnosis the condition had been stable for 4+ years
- the seizures had been correctly diagnosed as idiopathic epilepsy with an accurate treatment plan that was working
- the previous chronic bladder infection had been defeated and had not returned
- the signs of onset of anemia were gone (and we had a treatment plan if they should return)
First time in four years I felt that we had defeated all the odds. First time in four years it was only good news. I thought this is it, she's going to be with us for years, perhaps she will even just die of old age.
Sigh.
A couple of days ago she acted in a way that made us suspect she began to have another seizure. We immediately upped the medication to the standard dose and since the side-effect is drowsiness and lethargy while the body adapts to the new dose, she spent most of the day sleeping in one place. The next day she managed to move around a bit, although seemed to have problems with coordination, but she was drinking and eating normally. By the evening she had no control of her lower body half anymore and we took her to the vet ER. It turned out it was a disc in the spine that most likely would've required expensive MRI scans and surgery plus a very long and painful recovery period where she essentially would have to be locked up in a cage and require therapy. Assuming it would've been treatable and assuming her kidneys would've survived all the procedures that required anesthesia which is a huge strain on them. Sadly we had lost a dachshund years and years ago to the same thing and then the surgeon honestly said: it's an expensive and complicated procedure with no guarantees of good long-term outcome. Considering her underlying chronic conditions and age and the fact that we would make her life a living hell with no guarantees that it would even help... we took the painful decision to let her go.
So there it is. When she joined our family she quickly stole all our hearts. I could never have imagined that a cat can be so friendly and loving towards us despite her health problems. Which we constantly battled, and successfully so I might add. But in the end none of it mattered. Something random, senseless, idiotic and absurdly unfair can occur and undo all your best efforts. If you have been in a similar position and still hurting, or if you will ever end up in a similar position, remember our story and take some comfort in it. You are not alone and other people (and cats) have gone through the same painful experience. My thoughts are with you.
Quick recap: we had to put our eldest cat to sleep because her thyroid was shut, the cure which was an expensive radiology procedure was not available in my country and daily medication and monthly (or even bi-weekly) visits to the clinic were not an option: at heart she was still a feral cat. I felt very guilty about not being able to help her and so the next cat we took had kidney disease. I thought I'm going to try and make her life as comfortable as possible.
Thursday night we buried that cat next to our other pets in our summerhouse. This time I'm not writing this post not to seek solace but rather as a comforting message to other grieving people here. Sometimes you can give it everything, and it might seem that you've finally overcome all odds, and it will won't be enough.
To cut a long story short, the average life expectancy of a cat with a diagnosis of kidney disease is 2 years 2 months. I remember going to the vet with her for a check-up and after an ultrasound hearing the sentence "please prepare yourself, she will be gone very soon". That was in June... of 2020.
Meanwhile it turned out she had an untreated chronic bladder infection, which we managed to get rid of due to a correct diagnosis and treatment plan. That was almost two years ago.
She also had problems with intermittent seizures which came back with a vengeance after a very long break, in the autumn of this year. She also began to show signs of anemia. We went to the vet a total of five times in the last few months with these two issues.
But she overcame all those health problems. About a month ago we went for a check-up with her main doctor and got a clean bill of health (considering the circumstances):
- despite the kidney disease diagnosis the condition had been stable for 4+ years
- the seizures had been correctly diagnosed as idiopathic epilepsy with an accurate treatment plan that was working
- the previous chronic bladder infection had been defeated and had not returned
- the signs of onset of anemia were gone (and we had a treatment plan if they should return)
First time in four years I felt that we had defeated all the odds. First time in four years it was only good news. I thought this is it, she's going to be with us for years, perhaps she will even just die of old age.
Sigh.
A couple of days ago she acted in a way that made us suspect she began to have another seizure. We immediately upped the medication to the standard dose and since the side-effect is drowsiness and lethargy while the body adapts to the new dose, she spent most of the day sleeping in one place. The next day she managed to move around a bit, although seemed to have problems with coordination, but she was drinking and eating normally. By the evening she had no control of her lower body half anymore and we took her to the vet ER. It turned out it was a disc in the spine that most likely would've required expensive MRI scans and surgery plus a very long and painful recovery period where she essentially would have to be locked up in a cage and require therapy. Assuming it would've been treatable and assuming her kidneys would've survived all the procedures that required anesthesia which is a huge strain on them. Sadly we had lost a dachshund years and years ago to the same thing and then the surgeon honestly said: it's an expensive and complicated procedure with no guarantees of good long-term outcome. Considering her underlying chronic conditions and age and the fact that we would make her life a living hell with no guarantees that it would even help... we took the painful decision to let her go.
So there it is. When she joined our family she quickly stole all our hearts. I could never have imagined that a cat can be so friendly and loving towards us despite her health problems. Which we constantly battled, and successfully so I might add. But in the end none of it mattered. Something random, senseless, idiotic and absurdly unfair can occur and undo all your best efforts. If you have been in a similar position and still hurting, or if you will ever end up in a similar position, remember our story and take some comfort in it. You are not alone and other people (and cats) have gone through the same painful experience. My thoughts are with you.
