What Steps Should I Be Taking Now?

[MonaLyssa33]

Quick backstory if you don't already know: Maisie was in foster care for 2 years because she is very shy, not well socialized and every time someone would visit her, she'd run away. I adopted her 4 months ago with Remy and she's been coming out of hiding a lot more, she reluctantly lets me pet her while she's eating, and sits near me when I'm in bed and I haven't fed her breakfast yet. I would love for her to feel comfortable with me petting her at any time or for her to not run when I walk around my apartment. It's probably not likely for her to feel comfortable enough to sit in my lap or for me to hold her, but it'll be a possible long-term goal for me and her.

I feel like she wants to trust me because she'll sit near me when I'm on the couch or she'll cuddle with Remy if he is near me, but she's still fearful. I'm very willing to be patient with her (considering it's been 4 months and she only recently started letting me pet her). I'm just wondering if there are more or different steps I should be taking to help her. When she reluctantly lets me pet her while she's eating (I'm always sitting on the floor when I do this), I sometimes accidentally have my hand over her head in a way that scares her and she'll run a few feet away but come back within seconds. When she runs, I may try petting her a couple more times but then I'll leave her alone until the next meal.

When she's not hiding and I'm walking around my apartment, I will watch to see how she reacts. If she looks like she's going to run, I'll slow down and turn my back to her as I walk by and she usually doesn't run.

I guess I just want to know if I'm doing things right. Progress is slow with her, but it is still progress, and if there is something different I could be doing to help her, I'd love to know.

 

[Kieka]

Everything sounds good to me. My girl was a four month old feral and while it is a different situation, a lot of the behaviors sound similar. It took a good three years to get Rocket to where she wasn't immediately running and more comfortable. I just recently started being able to pet Rocket with two hands at the same time, before she had to see one hand while being pet by the other.

I'd just keep slowly pushing boundaries a little at a time. You don't want to plateau at a point but you also don't want to push too hard. It really is a tricky balance but it sounds like you will get there with time.

 

[Etarre]

I agree that it sounds like you're making good progress and showing patience is the most important way to encourage your new cat to open up. I adopted Juniper 7 months ago and she's still too scared to focus on playtime with me if my husband is also in the room and moving around.

You could try using your braver cat to model behaviors that you'll hoping she'll come around to, like cuddling, petting, etc. Maybe once she sees another cat getting love and attention from you without negative consequences it will reassure her.

Now that she feels more comfortable in our apartment, Juniper is starting to be open to things she felt threatened by initially, like brushing. Perhaps you've already done these things, but it could help to make sure that she has a few spaces that she considers 'her' spaces (where you don't approach or pet without permission and never pick her up from) and add more items around the apartment that she can scent-soak. When she starts to feel some ownership of her environment, that could help a lot, too.

 

[rubysmama]

Thanks for adopting a cat no one else wanted. Here's a few articles that might be helpful:

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me