What Do I Do With My Timid Cat When I Move?

[Katrina Jahn]

Alright guys. I don’t know what to do with my Tinkerbell. I’ve had her for quite a while, adopted her at ten months old and she’s almost seven now. She’s a sweet thing, flame point Himalayan, and she’s incredibly timid and shy. She doesn’t like anyone but me and my dad, she’s been living with only us for the last four years. But here’s the thing, I’ve been away at college a lot for the last four years, coming home for breaks when I can. She remembers me and comes around me a bit, but when she jumps up on a chair by me or onto my bed, she only stays there for quite literally a few seconds and then jumps back down, that’s the extent of our relationship most of the time. But she doesn’t do that with my dad. She’ll jump right into his lap and sit with him for an hour. I don’t treat her any differently than he does other than the fact that I actually groom her. But I don’t corner her or force the relationship, I just let her come to me if she wants to and let her leave when she wants. But she’s very obviously closer to my dad.


But here’s the other thing. I’m graduating in May and will be moving in with a friend and her couple of cats and I was planning on bringing Tink with me because she’s my cat. But she’s never really been around other animals and she doesn’t seem to have the bond with me that she does my dad, even though he’s told me he wants her to move with me and doesn’t want to keep a cat. But as much as I love her, I don’t want to feel like I’m tearing her away from her comfort and traumatizing her. Though after talking to my dad just now, he said that when I initially left for school, she would walk around the house and look for me or sleep on my bed. But she doesn’t really do that anymore from what I can tell.

What should I do?

 

[Kat0121]

Hello and welcome!

I think she'd be better off staying with your dad. She's bonded to him and his house is her "safe place". Taking a cat who doesn't like to be around strange people and putting her in a new environment with a strange human and 2 strange cats would be overwhelming for her. I think your dad might be saying that because he thinks you want him to. You can always visit her and this in no way means that she does not love you. I know you want to bring her but I honestly think that it would be best for her to stay put. A move like that would be stressful and could easily have a negative effect on both her emotional and physical health.

There are ways to introduce a cat to a new household, but some are just destined to be "only children". This is not the fault of anyone. It's just how they are.

I also think that if dad were honest, he'd tell you that he doesn't really want her to go. There are other cats out there that would do better in a multi cat household than she would. If it were me, I'd leave her with him and adopt one that can be introduced to your new household successfully. It would be a win win situation. 2 cats would be in loving homes.

 

[maggiedemi]

When I moved out in my twenties, I left my childhood cats behind. It was the hardest thing I had to do, but they were outdoor cats who loved to hunt outside in the country. Plus it can be hard to find an apartment that lets you have pets. I was able to visit them often though. So you just have to think about where would the cat be happier, will you be miserable without her, and can you find an apartment that allows pets.

 

[di and bob]

I agree with kat0121, she would definitely be better off with dad. But if it is absolutely impossible, she can be brought to your new place, but it will be very traumatizing and a long hard road, especially for on older cat who is so timid. I wish you the best in trying to convince your dad in keeping her. Maybe you can re-evaluate things when you move out on your own, without roommates and other cats.