We had to put Slim down tonight

[les26]

I had posted on the Cat health thread about our all black little fella "Slim", he was losing weight and throwing up more and looking like he wasn't doing so well, so we took him to the Emergency vet Sunday night, and at first we had hopes that he might just have Hyperthyroidism based on the bloodwork but he also had Pancreatitis, but they said those were treatable and kept him overnight to start him on the new meds and give him fluids. But yesterday they called and said he wasn't responding well and wanted to do an ultrasound of his abdomen to see if anything was going on there, and of course Deb & I were both nervous wrecks all morning, at times thinking he'd be okay, but Deb thought all along that something was wrong, and she was right. She called me crying this afternoon and said the vet said "there was a lot going on" and presumed it was cancer, he didn't eat since Sunday, he wasn't good, said he has been suffering, said they could try to treat it with Prednisone but didn't know if that would hit it, but Deb asked "if he was your cat what would you do?", and she said "I would stop doing anything", basically saying she would put him down. So we went in tonight, spent a long time with him, holding him and hugging him, kissing him, crying our eyes out, but also telling him that we love him and were lucky that he came into our lives over 17 years ago, explained to him that we are doing this to help him, that he will not be in pain anymore and will see his sister Sabrina who died last year at this same vet of a heart attack when we took her in, and also see his brother Skipper who died very suddenly years ago at home here, and that we will see each other again someday and it will be forever, no one will be leaving then. I used to at times refer to him as "last minute Louie" because sometimes in the morning when I would be rushing around getting ready for work I would be giving some of them treats, put the treats away, start to leave the room only to see Louie I mean Slim come in half asleep, I used to say "I have to get ready for work, last minute Louie!", but I always went back and gave him some treats...and when we would play string toys he would chew on it, I used to say "we can't play if you're going to chew on it!", and I was always afraid I would rip his teeth out if I pulled on it! And many years ago he actually ate part of a string toy, we actually pulled about a 10" section out of his butt, he was lucky that didn't get stuck in there and need surgery! But we spent our time with him, said all we wanted to say, no regrets....

He still was somewhat spunky, was excited to see us, and I kept saying "are you sure he is really that sick?", thinking maybe if we took him home we could nurse him back to health, but when the vet came in she said how sick he was, and how many times people will see them with a surge of adrenaline and second guess themselves, but she assured me that he was very sick, had "a lot going on inside", she was the one that called Deb with the ultrasound results, so I believed her. And in the past whenever we had cats put down, if it really WAS their time to go, and they had little fight left in them, they would pass in seconds, and he did just that, closed his little eyes and within seconds he was gone, so I knew then that he was ready.

Deb said that he was to her like Sylvester is to me, so I know just how broken up she is about this, but we knew it was time and had to be done. She used to call him "Slimmy Slimmy cocoa pop" sort of like that song "Shimmy shimmy cocoa pop", and man did she love him, as did I, and he us. But he is fine now, just fine, no more pain or physical issues, he is eating and playing and happy and healthy and purring his head off, he had the BEST purr we've ever heard, and even that was lower tonight because he was weaker, but it was still there, and now it is loud and strong again....

I made a deal with him, I told him that when we meet again we will play string toys, and since I will be the one coming to him he can call me "last minute Louie"! And he can chew it all he wants to!!

"THANK YOU SLIM, YOU WERE A GOOD SON....WE LOVE YOU AND WE WILL MEET AGAIN AND THIS TIME IT WILL BE FOREVER!!!"

 

[Furballsmom]

RIP sweetheart

 

[FeebysOwner]

I can't even tell you how much this shocks me, but this is not about me, it is about Slim (and you).

Slim had a darn good run, and he had the best parents he could have ever hoped to have.

He purred himself to the other side, knowing the pain/agony would be gone, and by listening to your deal with him. You will keep it, and he knows that to be sure.

RIP Slim . Relax, feel free, and wait for your dad.

 

[marshmallow2013]

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. My heart breaks for you. Slim will always love you both for taking such great care of him.
Rest in Peace, little angel, Slim

 

[Mia6]

I am so sorry about your darling boy, Slim.

 

[di and bob]

My heart goes out to you, but you are right that he is in no pain now, and is purring so loud!
It is so hard to let them go, but you knew in your heart that the fight was finished, he had a future that only held more and more pain and suffering. You couldn't let him face that. This was the time to rely on the vet's expertice, their past patients, to know what was coming up.
the bond you have with that precious boy's heart will be with you both forever. Nothing can take away your sweet memories of good times or the fact that he gave you so many special years. He was so lucky to have found you and Deb, and you were so blessed to have him be with you both on your life's journeys. In time, your sadness will turn to gratitude for sharing your life with him, but as you know by now it takes a long time, one day at a time. so for now, allow your heart to grieve and the tears to fall. Missing and loving someone after they pass is a great honor, one I'm sure that little boy deserves. His love is unique to you both, no one can ever feel the same about him as you do. He sends his love back to you for that, and always will. Let his love and that of your other little ones fill that emptiness in your life, because no matter how much it hurts, how big is that hole in your heart, adding more love does help soothe the pain. And I know you and Deb both have big enough hearts to handle it.
Please accept my sincere condolences, and know I will pray for you all. May God bless you for giving these special little angels here on earth such good care and all the love they desire. you are both such special people.......RIP precious Slim. You will always be remembered, you will always have secure places in loving hearts. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you all meet again!

 

[Mighty Orange]

My condolences for your loss. Losing a loved one is always hard.

 

[DeesCats]

I am so sorry for your loss of Slim and my condolences go out to you and your family.

 

[les26]

Thank you all for the heartfelt replies, they really help. It just seems so rushed these last few days, we are dealing with it like we have all the others that we have lost, we go from crying to being somewhat okay back to crying back to somewhat okay, but we know it'll take time to come to terms with this. Deb is mostly upset that his last few days were spent in a strange place at the vet rather than here in his home, with strangers and being shaved so they could do the ultrasound and all, but we had no choice. I wake up during the night to go to the bathroom and then it hits me like a truck, I get a panicky feeling, get very sad and upset, and I try to just talk to him and talk myself down and I also realize it had to be this way, but I have reacted like this many times before. When Simon died, I couldn't stand to be in the dark, and I couldn't stand being in the shower, I felt like I was suffocating in a coffin, but with time that passed. And this morning I was really crying, saying to Deb "I wish I would've played more with him, or petted him more" and she right away said "you did, you were right there with him", but it is the grief that has ahold of me and her and is playing it's mental games with us, but it will lessen with time. I also think about how we saw him losing weight and probably should've taken him sooner, but even had we taken him months ago I don't think that they could've done anything, these things don't just happen in a short time, he must've been having issues without fully letting us know, Deb said "he put on a good front for us", and even had they seen it they might've wanted to do some radical surgery or treat him with drugs and maybe he would've suffered even more. Plus his sister Sabrina dying of a heart attack at the vet stuck with us mentally. We know they all will pass, as will Deb and I, and my parents and her mom, but to have it happen like this was very "in our face", and this is the time of year that her dad was sick and passed 4 years ago, the holidays put added stress on us all, I have been upset and uptight for the last 1.5 years dealing with my elderly parents, and this just put us over the top. But we just cry, talk it out, let it out, and it will eventually lose it's sting, and time will help the pain slowly fade, just like it did for the other 7 we have lost through the years...

Little Slim, moved on to the next life but never forgotten...

THANK YOU for the replies and support, it means so much to us...

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Slim, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.

Oh, My Friend, you have seen, over and over again what I say to those whose cats have Gone On Ahead. And we both know that those words have so little meaning in the RIGHT NOW, although their truth can be felt later on. So I will leave you with this...I have known that pain, and my heart is with yours.

 

[catsknowme]

Condolences on losing Slim. He knows that you were seeking answers and that no one was being mean to him; rather, they were soothing him and letting him know that it was uncomfortable medical procedures. Godspeed and tailwinds west, Slim!

 

[iPappy]

Thank you all for the heartfelt replies, they really help. It just seems so rushed these last few days, we are dealing with it like we have all the others that we have lost, we go from crying to being somewhat okay back to crying back to somewhat okay, but we know it'll take time to come to terms with this. Deb is mostly upset that his last few days were spent in a strange place at the vet rather than here in his home, with strangers and being shaved so they could do the ultrasound and all, but we had no choice. I wake up during the night to go to the bathroom and then it hits me like a truck, I get a panicky feeling, get very sad and upset, and I try to just talk to him and talk myself down and I also realize it had to be this way, but I have reacted like this many times before. When Simon died, I couldn't stand to be in the dark, and I couldn't stand being in the shower, I felt like I was suffocating in a coffin, but with time that passed. And this morning I was really crying, saying to Deb "I wish I would've played more with him, or petted him more" and she right away said "you did, you were right there with him", but it is the grief that has ahold of me and her and is playing it's mental games with us, but it will lessen with time. I also think about how we saw him losing weight and probably should've taken him sooner, but even had we taken him months ago I don't think that they could've done anything, these things don't just happen in a short time, he must've been having issues without fully letting us know, Deb said "he put on a good front for us", and even had they seen it they might've wanted to do some radical surgery or treat him with drugs and maybe he would've suffered even more. Plus his sister Sabrina dying of a heart attack at the vet stuck with us mentally. We know they all will pass, as will Deb and I, and my parents and her mom, but to have it happen like this was very "in our face", and this is the time of year that her dad was sick and passed 4 years ago, the holidays put added stress on us all, I have been upset and uptight for the last 1.5 years dealing with my elderly parents, and this just put us over the top. But we just cry, talk it out, let it out, and it will eventually lose it's sting, and time will help the pain slowly fade, just like it did for the other 7 we have lost through the years...

Little Slim, moved on to the next life but never forgotten...

THANK YOU for the replies and support, it means so much to us...

After I lost Levi, Willie, and Tag in just over a years time, I too couldn't stand being in the dark. For 2 months after Tags passing, I slept on the couch in a fully lit room with the TV on. I just hated being or sleeping in a darkened room. That took time to get used to.
I know how you feel when you say you wish you would have pet him more, played with him more, etc. I feel that way too. But I try to remember that for the times I did, they were the BEST times for us both. Cats don't understand things like jobs, schedules and errands. They also don't understand holidays and the stress of dealing with elderly parents. I firmly believe that after we pass (whether we are human or animal) we are shown all the answers to all the things we couldn't understand in This Life. IMO, Slim can now see and understand the stresses in life that you dealt with during his life, and he only feels more love for you in making room for him in your home and heart during his time here.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

 

[les26]

Some more random thoughts...

I remember Di and Bob saying many times "if love could save them they'd live forever", how true....

I remember a woman at my old job used to say "their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven". I told Slim this before the vet came in to inject him, so he knew where he was going...and I also told him when the time comes please welcome Simba, our 23 year old that we thought we were losing a bit ago. We thought he would go next, not Slim, but we really don't know what is in store for any of us, do we?

He used to walk and stop and raise his right leg up, almost like the Germans used to do when they did that "Heil Hitler" thing (sorry to say that but it's the best way to describe it) and we used to call it the "Slimmy salute", it looked so funny when he would do that! Deb just said "he's doing that to his sister Sabrina now"....

At 17, he lived longer than Sabrina and his brother Skipper. Brina was the one that had a heart attack at the vet and died last year, and they asked us "you never could pick her up and hold her, could you?" and we couldn't, she was friendly but never let us pick her up, and the reason they asked us that was because she had a large tumor on her chest, we felt it after she passed. And years ago Skipper was crying and crying at home, we took him to the vet that night and they ran bloodwork and tests but couldn't find anything wrong, gave him an antibiotic shot in case he had an infection, we brought him home and he was somewhat quieter the next day, but we found him dead when we came home from work. So obviously some bad things ran in his family, so to make it to 17 we think was a pretty good accomplishment.

And I agree with iPappy, I also think we are made to understand all of the things that we didn't understand in this life in the next life, and that would be a huge help to me I know....

Thank you all again, this is like therapy for me to write it out and talk it out. As much as Deb and I are so alike, she is the opposite, she doesn't talk much about it, only to me, it doesn't help her to talk it out with others but it helps me tremendously...

 

[iPappy]

Some more random thoughts...

I remember Di and Bob saying many times "if love could save them they'd live forever", how true....

I remember a woman at my old job used to say "their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven". I told Slim this before the vet came in to inject him, so he knew where he was going...and I also told him when the time comes please welcome Simba, our 23 year old that we thought we were losing a bit ago. We thought he would go next, not Slim, but we really don't know what is in store for any of us, do we?

He used to walk and stop and raise his right leg up, almost like the Germans used to do when they did that "Heil Hitler" thing (sorry to say that but it's the best way to describe it) and we used to call it the "Slimmy salute", it looked so funny when he would do that! Deb just said "he's doing that to his sister Sabrina now"....

At 17, he lived longer than Sabrina and his brother Skipper. Brina was the one that had a heart attack at the vet and died last year, and they asked us "you never could pick her up and hold her, could you?" and we couldn't, she was friendly but never let us pick her up, and the reason they asked us that was because she had a large tumor on her chest, we felt it after she passed. And years ago Skipper was crying and crying at home, we took him to the vet that night and they ran bloodwork and tests but couldn't find anything wrong, gave him an antibiotic shot in case he had an infection, we brought him home and he was somewhat quieter the next day, but we found him dead when we came home from work. So obviously some bad things ran in his family, so to make it to 17 we think was a pretty good accomplishment.

And I agree with iPappy, I also think we are made to understand all of the things that we didn't understand in this life in the next life, and that would be a huge help to me I know....

Thank you all again, this is like therapy for me to write it out and talk it out. As much as Deb and I are so alike, she is the opposite, she doesn't talk much about it, only to me, it doesn't help her to talk it out with others but it helps me tremendously...

I am so happy writing these things down are helpful. I am still keeping a "cute" journal, anytime I remember a little habit or something one of mine did, I write it down. It sounds like Slim could fill a very large notebook in that department.
Everyone handles these things differently, but, I am glad Deb will talk with you at least. Some people are more open to it once some time has passed, but sometimes, not. The only good thing about grief is there is no wrong way to do it.

 

[les26]

We ended up spending hours at the SAME VET that we put Slim down Friday night, my mother in laws 19 year old cat Suzy is having issues and we didn't know if she was going to be put down but they didn't do it yet, most likely Deb will end up taking her and her mom to their own vet in the next few days, but that was really weird being there again. It is an emergency vet so it is open 24 hours, we got there around 8:30 and didn't leave until 1:15 in the morning, what fun that was...but we are thankful that there ARE places like this that we can go to if needed anytime of the day!

 

[neely]

I had been following your thread in Cat Health but had not yet come to this thread with your tribute to Slim. I knew I would tear up and sure enough I did but wanted you to know how sorry I am and grateful for the loving home both Deb and you gave him. Don't forget about your promise to bring string toys when you meet again. RIP dear, sweet Slim.

 

[les26]

Slim is back home, they delivered his ashes today. Deb had to wait around for most of the day as they were delivered via UPS which was a strange way to do it, we usually just pick them up at the vet but this is how they did it, but he's home. It's hitting her pretty hard, saying "that's Slim in that little box". I keep telling her he's fine now and he's back home, that's all I can say...

 

[iPappy]

Slim is back home, they delivered his ashes today. Deb had to wait around for most of the day as they were delivered via UPS which was a strange way to do it, we usually just pick them up at the vet but this is how they did it, but he's home. It's hitting her pretty hard, saying "that's Slim in that little box". I keep telling her he's fine now and he's back home, that's all I can say...

In some ways, having their ashes back is reassuring but then, like Deb said, it can be upsetting. I'm glad his ashes are back safe and sound, so there is some closure, but only in a perfect world would the grieving be over.
It helped me, and maybe it would help you and Deb whenever you're both ready. I made a little "special spot" for my urns in a quiet place. With the urns, there are keepsakes, little memories of them, an electric candle that's on a timer (it cheers me up seeing that candle on, to be honest!), photos, etc. It helped me heal a bit adding little things to the area. My Tag passed way last September and I just added two figurines that made me think of him.

 

[les26]

In some ways, having their ashes back is reassuring but then, like Deb said, it can be upsetting. I'm glad his ashes are back safe and sound, so there is some closure, but only in a perfect world would the grieving be over.
It helped me, and maybe it would help you and Deb whenever you're both ready. I made a little "special spot" for my urns in a quiet place. With the urns, there are keepsakes, little memories of them, an electric candle that's on a timer (it cheers me up seeing that candle on, to be honest!), photos, etc. It helped me heal a bit adding little things to the area. My Tag passed way last September and I just added two figurines that made me think of him.

We have all of their little boxes together with things like you said, and I don't know about Deb, but I don't even look at them. I don't know why, I just don't. Maybe it is too painful to do so, but I could see it being comforting to some people.

 

[Devia Morgenstern]

My sincerest condolences <33 Few experiences compare to the pain of losing a beloved furchild. I can tell both you and Deb loved him deeply.
I know it's not much comfort, but those last moments you spent comforting him and explaining how much he meant to you was the greatest gift you could ever give. He died in peace, knowing he was loved. I don't think he'll ever forget that. There's some cats who don't get that honor. I've lost many cats over the years and I've learned that they never die, they become a part of your heart. I know he's up there now, giving you strength, thankful for the love you showed him. I won't say it gets better because it probably doesn't seem like that right now. But allow yourself to cry. To feel what you need to feel. The rain is meant to fall right now. It will cease when your ready. That's the real reason they call it the Rainbow Bridge.