Trying To Understand Adopted Cat

[sally cecelia]

Hi all!

Glad to be a new member and am trying to gain some guidance on newly adopted rescue cat. I got this cute girl last week from a local rescue org and she is 7 yrs old with a lot of the characteristics of a typical shelter cat: shy, scared, low socialization with humans, and some health issues in the past (teeth removed, upper respiratory issues).

Having read all the other threads on adopted cat issues, I'm having difficulty understanding my new cat and her aloofness. When I first got her, I gave her her space, provided all the essentials, and tried many of the tips given by experts on how to connect with shy cats such as getting down to her level, trying to have her come to you, etc. She has never had any problem with the litter box, eating, scratching furniture, nor has she ever been aggressive in any way.

She allows me now to pet her, even pick her up to a point, and comes to me when I have wet food. Other than this, she is not at all interested in engaging with me in any way: I've tried play time with different toys and she does not interact. She also does not cuddle nor wants to sit on my lap. She is very aloof and spends most of her day sleeping, sitting by herself, looking out the window, etc. I can pet her and sometimes she purrs and pushes her head toward my hand and brushes up against me or kneads with her paws. But other than this engagement, I haven't been able to do anything else with her. She is pretty indifferent when I leave and when I come back to the house and it is always me "pursuing" her.

I know it hasn't been a long time since I got her but I'm worried that I will not be able to bond with her and also worried about how little activity and stimulation she is getting. She is a bit older so I understand older cats don't have as much energy but wondering if her lack of play and engagement with humans overall are more of symptoms from her stray cat/ shelter past and how best to bond and play with such a cat.

The rescue org hasn't been much of help and other than these issues, I adore her and am beating myself up on even thinking of ever returning her, but wondering what else I can do to stimulate her, bond with her, and have her be more engaging and less aloof.

Thanks in advance for your help!

 

[sdkfjlasdf]

you could try giving her treats for encouragement? or giving treat-motivated toys to play. e.g. every time you pet her and she purrs+does the headbutt thing, give her a small treat immediately after (not right after she's eaten a big meal, but when she's slightly hungrier). also those crinkle toys where you can put food in.

most cats are pretty aloof, maybe it takes some time for her to warm up to someone. sort of like if i were a new house guest, i wouldn't really care about the people i'm living with at first, and it takes time to form a bond. sometimes this is just how it is.

all in all thank you for adopting and not shopping. i know it's hard to deal with especially since cats do have a general reputation for being lap-animals and purring little monsters. however it takes a lot of patience and i hope the both of you can pull through this. trust me, she IS grateful and most of the time cats hide emotions especially pain, but she knows she's loved, and if she stays a while longer, she won't look at your home as a "temporary" or "foster" place anymore.

 

[susanm9006]

A week is a very very short time in the life of a seven year old cat. It sounds like she isn’t fearful of you and enjoys your company and that is outstanding at this point. But real affection and love will take longer. Given how she is reacting so far, if you are patient with her and accept her as she is I am sure she will get there.

 

[egyptianmau]

As you said, a week is not a long time. Please give her some more time to get familiar with you and her new home. The early signs are promising; persist with her and hopefully she will gradually become more affectionate.

 

[sally cecelia]

Thanks sdkfjlasdf for the suggestions; I've tried treats, catnip, and Feliway so far and only Feliway seemed to have some kind of effect by making her calmer. But since she responds to wet food more, I'll try using that with toys to see if she'll engage.

I definitely do understand it's only been a week and I'm probably being too impatient with the progress but being an anxious person, I just getting worried. I'm getting a cat tree today so hopefully she'll like it and I'll also look up some crinkle toys too.

Thanks!

 

[Etarre]

I agree with everyone who has said that you need to give her a bit more time. When we adopted Juniper, she was very skittish, and it took weeks before we could approach her to pet her instead of vice versa, and months before she enjoyed cuddles and dared to sit on our laps, even briefly.

Her cat tree was very helpful, since it gave her a secure spot to chill out around us where she felt safe and could run away if she didn't want to be approached. She eventually allowed limited petting while she was up there, and it helped her to feel like part of the family, so hopefully your kitty's cat tree will also be useful. We made a point of never picking Juniper up off the cat tree to make it more her own safe space, so you might try that.

Cats can also be very picky about toys, and reluctant to play if they feel that they're not in a completely secure area. If Juniper is playing with me in the living room and my husband comes into the room, she'll stop until he sits down somewhere, just to keep an eye on both of us. Maybe your cat just needs more time to develop a feeling of security. If you've only tried a few toys with her, you could also introduce other options-- my first cat would only play with the cat dancer or a laser pointer. All other toys bored her.

 

[Hellenww]

I was also going to suggest the cat dancer since you don't have to move very much for it to bounce. Since she lets you pet her try a soft brush.

She allows me now to pet her, even pick her up to a point, and comes to me when I have wet food.

I can pet her and sometimes she purrs and pushes her head toward my hand and brushes up against me or kneads with her paws.

spends most of her day sleeping, sitting by herself, looking out the window, etc.

For a shy cat she really has progressed well in just a week. She's not hiding, enjoys petting, eats with you around. If she is staying in the same room with you when your home then your she wants to be with you. Put a soft blanket on your lap that extends down the couch.

I know how hard it is to not pursue but just let her be with you and keep talking to her.