The Early Kitten Gets The Worm

[catmom723]

Hi, all. I hope you can give me some help. Quick backstory; I have 2 cats. Fred, a 5 year old orange tabby, and Ralph an 8 month old kitten. I adopted Ralph when he was 4 months old, Fred I’ve had for 4 years. Ralph is a very busy kitten, there’s not many moments where he isn’t moving. He does not snuggle, he does not like to be held, he likes being the more traditional cat. Fred is pretty much the opposite. He grooms me, he sleeps on my pillow, and is always in my lap.

Ralph and Fred have a very platonic relationship. There’s no mutual grooming, there’s no cuddling. There is sleeping in the bed together, being on different levels of the cat tree together, playing chase and eating together. However, Ralph doesn’t know when to stop playing. He wakes up with my husband at around 4:30am. From the time hubby leaves at 5:15 to about 7:30, all I hear is Fred screaming, hissing, growling and running through the house. Fred sleeps until about 10am, I know he just isn’t in the mood at 5am. I’m not sure what Ralph is doing to get such a reaction from Fred, when I get up all activity stops. I don’t think he is physically hurting him, Fred doesn’t have any wounds. I’ve tried locking Ralph in our bathroom for 10 minutes when it gets like this, but he’s caught on. Now he runs from me and by the time I can catch him he’s forgotten what’s happened.

So, what do I do? Do I lock Ralph up at night and let him out when I get up? Or have my husband put him up when he gets up in the morning? I work nights, I just cannot be up with Ralph in the morning. He has plenty of toys that he can play with, he eats a big dinner at night and he does get up in the middle of the night at some point and have about an hour of romping and then comes back to bed. I have used Feliway but haven’t noticed a difference.

Does anyone have any advice? I’m willing to do anything. I just need some sleep!

 

[ArtNJ]

Kittens are like this. It doesn't seem like a problem, apart from your sleep. Nor can you stop him from being a kitten. If Fred isn't avoiding Ralph during the day or showing other signs of stress, its just not a big deal - apart from your sleep. If Fred was being hurt or really stressed, you would 100% see avoidance behavior and/or growling/hissing during the day. So its your sleep we need to help with.

Your husband needs to deal with the cats differently. He can't stop the kitten from playing once he is up (nothing works for that), so the trick is to get the kitten to continue sleeping or, alternatively, to have Fred sleep elsewhere so the kitten doesn't have access to him at that time. My wife gets up real early too, and does not let the cats back in from outside or from the furnished basement (if weather bad) because they will wake me up every time. So, where does Ralph sleep and how does he wake your husband up? Are there options, such as a furnished basement? Could your husband ignore Ralph (for example, if he scratches a door). Ignoring can take several days or longer to work, but if you are consistent, it usually does work. Depending on your set-up, it may be easier if Fred is the one with a separate place to sleep. He might appreciate that

 

[Etarre]

Honestly, the easiest solution might just be to buy some earplugs! You know how they say that we think we're training our cats but they're really training us? I totally think this is true...

 

[catmom723]

Kittens are like this. It doesn't seem like a problem, apart from your sleep. Nor can you stop him from being a kitten. If Fred isn't avoiding Ralph during the day or showing other signs of stress, its just not a big deal - apart from your sleep. If Fred was being hurt or really stressed, you would 100% see avoidance behavior and/or growling/hissing during the day. So its your sleep we need to help with.

Your husband needs to deal with the cats differently. He can't stop the kitten from playing once he is up (nothing works for that), so the trick is to get the kitten to continue sleeping or, alternatively, to have Fred sleep elsewhere so the kitten doesn't have access to him at that time. My wife gets up real early too, and does not let the cats back in from outside or from the furnished basement (if weather bad) because they will wake me up every time. So, where does Ralph sleep and how does he wake your husband up? Are there options, such as a furnished basement? Could your husband ignore Ralph (for example, if he scratches a door). Ignoring can take several days or longer to work, but if you are consistent, it usually does work. Depending on your set-up, it may be easier if Fred is the one with a separate place to sleep. He might appreciate that

Husband gets up early for work. Ralph hears him get up and think the day is starting. Unfortunately, no basement but we do have a spare bedroom. Fred probably wouldn’t mind sleeping without Ralph, he’d probably be quite content to sleep in my room with me.

Ralph sleeps anywhere. Sometimes in our bed, sometimes in the living room on the Cat tree. Maybe we will try that tonight and see how that works. If I can get Ralph to stay asleep, or, just go back to sleep quickly I’ll be happy. Should I let them free most of the night but then shut the door to my room with Fred or keep them separate all night?

 

[ArtNJ]

I'd try all night and see how it goes. If Fred is as calm as you say, might work out real well for all. Most likely problem is Ralph might cry/scratch at your door. You should have a plan for that -- either commit to ignore him for several mornings and see if he stops, or switch plans and have Ralph sleep in the spare room. If Ralph is in the spare room and hears your husband, he will likely cry and scratch at the door - so if you go that route, your husband will have to be ready to ignore. Again, would likely take several mornings for Ralph to get the message.