Hi everyone...
I am struggling tonight. As you know I was in a bad car accident nearly two years ago.
Before my accident, I was on the path to work as Child Life Specialist. It was no Doctor or PA like I had originally started out to do, but it was amazing. It would give me the chance to work with children… and in the medical field. It was a neat little package of medicine, psychology , and children. Sparing details, things happened to derail that path.
l.
After my wreck, things were put into motion and I entered early menopause, so that went the opportunity to have a child of our own. This is why Mother and Father’s Day is so hard for me. I look around and see all of the children, the couples who are happily married with children. And as happy as I am for them, I grieve. I grieve because I see, what I lost with my wreck. I want to have that ability to impart knowledge, care, and things to a child.
It is a very real void, when your desire is to have children- and you are unable to. My husband and I have found options to sort of fill that very deep void in our life. We started out to become host “parents” for a foreign exchange student, and we should be able to do this for next school year. I have also been approved to be a volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters of America and CASA.
We also have a young man who entered our life through our new church that we think very highly of. This is an individual that has his path in life in order. He is a great student, and even won scholarships. (As I write this, he will be a Freshman in college in the Fall) We are really proud of what he has accomplished and will continue to accomplish.
He has brought true joy into our lives, for which we are very thankful, and we are thrilled to be able to know him. He has a bright future, is kind, compassionate, loving and caring. An all around great young man.
He (I will go with the name Derek). Derek has got his mind set on the path toward a very good medical career (Occupational Therapy, Doctor- and possibly equine therapy with children). I see what I missed, I see the grieving process I have to go through. I am very happy for him, I really am- I just see the vitality, the youth, and what I could have had. Is this wrong?
All of the options aside, I still grieve sometimes. Holidays geared toward parents are hard on me at times, like tonight. Just hurting , crying, and struggling
I am struggling tonight. As you know I was in a bad car accident nearly two years ago.
Before my accident, I was on the path to work as Child Life Specialist. It was no Doctor or PA like I had originally started out to do, but it was amazing. It would give me the chance to work with children… and in the medical field. It was a neat little package of medicine, psychology , and children. Sparing details, things happened to derail that path.
l.
After my wreck, things were put into motion and I entered early menopause, so that went the opportunity to have a child of our own. This is why Mother and Father’s Day is so hard for me. I look around and see all of the children, the couples who are happily married with children. And as happy as I am for them, I grieve. I grieve because I see, what I lost with my wreck. I want to have that ability to impart knowledge, care, and things to a child.
It is a very real void, when your desire is to have children- and you are unable to. My husband and I have found options to sort of fill that very deep void in our life. We started out to become host “parents” for a foreign exchange student, and we should be able to do this for next school year. I have also been approved to be a volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters of America and CASA.
We also have a young man who entered our life through our new church that we think very highly of. This is an individual that has his path in life in order. He is a great student, and even won scholarships. (As I write this, he will be a Freshman in college in the Fall) We are really proud of what he has accomplished and will continue to accomplish.
He has brought true joy into our lives, for which we are very thankful, and we are thrilled to be able to know him. He has a bright future, is kind, compassionate, loving and caring. An all around great young man.
He (I will go with the name Derek). Derek has got his mind set on the path toward a very good medical career (Occupational Therapy, Doctor- and possibly equine therapy with children). I see what I missed, I see the grieving process I have to go through. I am very happy for him, I really am- I just see the vitality, the youth, and what I could have had. Is this wrong?
All of the options aside, I still grieve sometimes. Holidays geared toward parents are hard on me at times, like tonight. Just hurting , crying, and struggling
