Overwhelmed...

[eternalgaze]

Hello, I'm new here and hoping to get some assitance with how to love my semi-feral kitty, Gayla, well...

I adopted a cat from a rescue 5 months ago. I am in my 60's and this is the first time I've ever had a pet! Well, it turns out the cat I adopted is semi-feral, and she was not socialized by the rescue and it is very overwhelming. I had a mobile vet come see her last week because it seems impossible for me to get her into a carrier to go see a vet outside my home, since the cat will not let me pick her up or anything like that. I had to acclimate her into going in a particular room to eat for a week before the vet came so that I could get her in there and shut the door when it was time for the appointment day.

She has been VERY distrusting ever since. She is very skittish with me and bolts away from me if I get up from sitting or try to move in her presence. I worked so hard over the past 5 months, knowing nothing about cats and learning everything I could online and in books...and I feel like I've been set back to the beginning. I had gotten her to the point of coming when I held out my bent finger and being pet most anytime, but now that's not happening... I don't know what to do. I get it that's she's distrusting now, but I feel so co-dependent with this cat, LOL! What should I do at this point?

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. How old is this cat? The older, the harder to acclimate. It could take twice, maybe 3 times longer than you have had her already. The first part of introducing a cat to a new environment is to get them accustomed to one room at first - although you did that, you kind of did it only to isolate her for the in home vet visit.

I'd just give it more time, and kind of start over in terms of getting her adjusted to her new forever home. You were making progress with her - you will again, to be sure. See if there are any tips in these TCS articles that might help.
How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home – TheCatSite Articles
How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding? – TheCatSite Articles
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me – TheCatSite Articles
First-time Cat Owner’s Guide – TheCatSite Articles

 

[eternalgaze]

Hi. How old is this cat? The older, the harder to acclimate. It could take twice, maybe 3 times longer than you have had her already. The first part of introducing a cat to a new environment is to get them accustomed to one room at first - although you did that, you kind of did it only to isolate her for the in home vet visit.

I was told by the rescue that Gayla is 3 years old and now the vet says she's more like 7 years old. I did get her accustomed to a single room where she pretty much stayed for the first two months I had her, and she still has that same 'safe room' that she spends much of her time in. I've gradually blocked off the unders where she was hiding and she had started using a couple of the beds I've put in various places around the house for her. In order for the vet to visit, she had to be in a small room. I didn't want it to be in her safe room, as I thought that might traumatize her further, to have the safe room be the place where the vet handled her... And I didn't want her to be in the bathroom because it was going to be 96 degrees out that day and I don't have central air. So, I had settled on the smallest room in the house with a/c, and had started feeding her in that room in anticipation of the vet's visit the following week

I think I'm just feeling discouraged. I hate to see her so afraid of me when we were finally moving forward. I've read and implemented much of what I've read about handling ferals and in helping scared cats over the past few months. She has made great improvements that way. I don't think I was prepared for a setback from the vet visiting.

Thank you for your counsel!

 

[FeebysOwner]

Just be patient with her. I think you will see slow changes over time. She really needs to be the one to 'call the shots' in terms of how fast - or slow - she progresses. I believe you are doing a great job, so don't get too discouraged. Keep us posted, please. And, when you get a chance share with us her name and a pic!

 

[Jcatbird]

Welcome to you and Gayla! Please don’t feel too discouraged. It takes time. Some cats adjust quickly and others slowly but she must move at her own pace. I have socialized many older ferals that have lived totally on their own but they do learn trust. Set backs can happen but then, just when you least expect it they can move forward again. I am in your age group and I still work with kitties. It isn’t as easy as it used to be for me. Lol I had an eye exam today and two eye surgeries coming so please excuse any typos. Kitties are forgiving creatures but being in a shelter snd then moving to another new world means she needs to feel established as a permanent resident there. When she knows that no more changes are coming, it will help. Consistent patterns. Routines with everything can help. Cats really don’t love change. If you can spend time down low, on her level, she will feel more comfortable. Avoid long looks directly at her since that is cat language for a threat. Announce yourself before coming in the room. Talk to her much as you would a visitor in your home. Soft and welcoming. There are calming products you can try too. They don’t always work for every cat but work well for some. Feliway makes a calming product. She might find catnip interesting. Just keep loving her and giving her kind attention. Cats are smart and she will learn. Please do keep us updated and ask any questions. You have already gotten great advice from FeebysOwner and more people will come. Many of us have been through similar circumstances and will have tips to help. Thank goodness you brought her into a loving home! You saved her and she will come to know this if she doesn’t already. You are off to a great start and she will get over the vet visit.

 

[eternalgaze]

Just be patient with her. I think you will see slow changes over time. She really needs to be the one to 'call the shots' in terms of how fast - or slow - she progresses. I believe you are doing a great job, so don't get too discouraged. Keep us posted, please. And, when you get a chance share with us her name and a pic!

Update on Gayla: It has been 3 weeks since the mobile vet visit when I had to 'trap' Gayla in a small room and keep her there for a few hours until the vet came. I realize now that I was so highly emotional because of how I had to 'trick' her and all. I really have to stop thinking of her as if she's human!

For two weeks, she ran away from me whenever she saw me. But finally, I was able to just let her be her scaredy cat self and get over her 'trauma' at her pace. I've also able to get a pretty consistent routine going with her, and that has helped.

I am happy to say that she has calmed down and bit and is no longer running away from me. She has settled into her routine pretty well and will come to me briefly when I 'pssst' her (this became our 'connect' thing, quite by accident!). Thank you for your encouragement

 

[FeebysOwner]

Good news!! You are right, your emotions go along way in how she will react to you. Cats are marvelous at picking that kind of thing up - much better than most humans!!! Thanks for the update! Keep giving us progress reports! And, down the road, don't forget - a pic or two would be great!!

 

[eternalgaze]

Good news!! You are right, your emotions go along way in how she will react to you. Cats are marvelous at picking that kind of thing up - much better than most humans!!! Thanks for the update! Keep giving us progress reports! And, down the road, don't forget - a pic or two would be great!!

I was actually searching for a recent pic, but I'm not very photo oriented. I will try to get one eventually! I want to try and get her with her tail up (which has been finally happening sometimes when she walks around, instead of the usual slinking or scurrying). In the meantime, here is an older one from a couple months ago (before the big trauma, LOL).

 

[FeebysOwner]

In the meantime, here is an older one from a couple months ago (before the big trauma, LOL).

What a pretty face!

 

[fionasmom]

Tail up is an encouraging sign!