One Human Cat?

[Krisstah]

I have had my cat for almost 9 years now.
I got her when she was 7 weeks old from a listing online from a person's home.

Her and I have been best friends since day 1. She is incredibly affectionate with me. She strongly associates me with trust and security. When she has vet check ups I have to remain close to her and hug her gently to allow the vet to check her. Sometimes the vet will just get me to do certain things. She is very good with me. No bites. No hissing. She's never attacked me. I can ask things of her and she will do it. She is fixed.

The problem has always been others. Anyone who comes through the door she will rub their legs and seem like she is happy to see them but if they walk or touch her she hisses and attacks their ankles. She hisses at people from a distance even if they are just walking by to go to the bathroom or kitchen.

I've been with my boyfriend 10 months and even with this much time passed by she still really dislikes him.

As angry as she gets however I can easily walk over and touch and pet her. Pick her up and have her lick my nose. If she's sitting beside me she does not hiss as much as she does if she's off on her own in the room.

I'm unsure why she seems to hate every other human. She's never been in anyone's prescense without me being home and I watch people like a hawk around my bestie. Despite the fact that she hisses and spits etc.. my concern is always how they are making her feel so I can intervene.

I would like to hear from others who have cats like this and what you do.

Thanks!

 

[mani]

Firstly, welcome to TCS!

I'm not so sure what to suggest about the general unfriendliness, apart from things like Feliway diffusers, or medication (which I try to avoid except in extreme cases). But if could be that if she manages to accept your boyfriend, it might make her realise that others are ok. So working with her and him is a priority.

How much is your boyfriend with you? If it's a lot, I suggest he be the one who feeds her, and if not so much, at least feed her when he's there. If she loves treats, he could be the one to give them to her. If she likes to play, he's the one tossing, flicking/whatever the toy.
Being pushy won't work. Tell him not to look her in the eye (it can promote aggression) and to just be natural around her.. no fuss. Everything should be done on her terms.
I've used a Feliway spray on people, when I had a cat who was very unfriendly.

We also have a brand new article that may help:

14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me

 

[Timmer]

10 months is a long time for her to still not like him. I think that's a great idea that mani had about having the BF feed her.
Honestly, I wouldn't worry or care if my cat hissed at visitors. They don't live with you. When you think about it, indoor pets like cats have no concept or idea that other people are out in the world. Their lives pretty much revolve around the caregivers and even though they may see other people walking around outside when they look out windows, I'm not sure they all make a connection that the world is full of other people and other animals. They have no idea or concept that we go to work or school. They just know we are gone and when we come home.

 

[Krisstah]

While I would love to incorporate these suggestions..

Unfortunately... even tho all my other visitors are animal lovers.. He is not one. He would rather her be caged up 24/7.

He has suggested that I euthanize her and throw her in a harbour to get rid of her. He takes pleasure in doing whatever he can, like hissing back at her. Yelling at her. Etc. Which ultimately makes her dislike him more.

I am homeless temporarily which is why I'm living with him so him being around her permanately won't be an issue for long. And then I won't really need to concern myself with it.. in fact after today's unpleasantness with him regarding her.. there likely won't even be a relationship once I leave.

The one thing I told him from the start is she comes first. I will have her back. So ditching him will be no loss..

But people seem to find her unusual.. like she doesn't behave normally for a cat. Hating everyone. I was mostly just wondering if having a cat that seems to just see you as the pillar of trust in their life is common..

But I suppose if the boyfriend is out the door in a short time the advice of not worrying about random visitors is best.

 

[vyger]

Several of my cats are "me only" cats. They absolutely don't like other people. One, a female named Blue, runs a hides if she even sees another person. If we are outside and someone drives into the driveway she is gone like a shot. She will hide until they are gone. If I am holding her she will launch out of my arms to go and hide. When inside she watches out the window and if anyone is there she hisses and runs to hide. If the doorbell rings it is total panic time. But with me she is totally devoted. Pushes the others out of my lap to sit with me. If a hand is visible it has to be on her, she is never aggressive towards me but has gone after another cat if it hisses at me. She is my guardian and I am her world and that is the way she wants it. Some cats are that way.
It is entirely possible that your cat is unhappy with this guy because of the way he treats you. They pick up on things like that especially if they have a touch of guard kitty in them. I would say she is not hating other people but rather being protective of you. Seriously, I have 3 that sit and watch out the window if I am in the room and if anyone drives into the driveway I get what I call a growl alert. All three let me know somebody is there. Snoopy, who always sleeps on my bed, keeps all the other cats, except his mom, out of the room even if I just go and take a nap. They are not allowed. Once when one accidentally bit me, overreacting to a toy, Snoopy attacked her as to let her know that she needs to be careful. I am pretty sure that if some stranger actually was aggressive to me that Snoopy would go postal on them. He is in no way an aggressive cat but he is a protective cat. He has never made any moves toward anyone who has come to visit. As long as they treat me good he is fine with it. He is a guard kitty just like many dogs are guard dogs. Sounds to me like you have a special cat that is looking after you. Tell people that she is a guard kitty and gets upset if they treat you bad or yell at you. She is your protector. If she were bigger probably the guy would be the one in the bay.

 

[Timmer]

No wonder she doesn't like him. I hope things change for you soon.

 

[artiemom]

Your boyfriend sounds like a real 'winner'... yup, best to get out of that environment ASAP.. for your sake as well as your cats.

Honestly, I think you cat really loves you.. trusts you 100% and more. You are her ''person"... This is something rare.. it comes along once in a lifetime. Enjoy it, cherish her, and the bond you have. It is awesome. I know.. I have a 'guy' like that. It is so special..

She knows how mean your 'boyfriend' is; and is trying to protect you from him.

I think it is as clear as that.

I would tell your boyfriend to stop with the mean attitude, accept that she is not going anywhere, and try your best to get out of a potential horrible situation..
People who act that way towards an animal, cannot be trusted with humans.. they have a bad streak, which cannot be undone..

As far as others go. I would suggest to them, to ignore you cat ~~ as much as they want to interact, just go at her own pace. It could be the sudden movements of these strangers are invoking memories of what your 'boyfriend' does to you cat, behind your back..

Tell them to let her be.. and she will come around...

Good Luck... start searching, please..