New Kitten

[JadeMariaa34]

My kitten is named Oliver and I've had him since Sunday.
I get mad at him and hit him sometimes, sometimes hard, sometimes soft, and sometimes once or multiple times. How do I stop doing that before it gets or worse and causes damage?
I also noticed that he poops outside of his litter. He pees in it, but poops outside. I've showed him the litter and I've dug his paw in it to show him this is what he uses and how. I'm not sure how effective that is.
Also, he licks himself a lot. Kind of excessively and it's kind of irritating too, especially when I need sleep for school.

 

[maggiedemi]

Please don't hit your kitten. He's little and you could really hurt him.

 

[JadeMariaa34]

Please don't hit your kitten. He's little and you could really hurt him.

I truly don't want to. It makes me feel bad as a person to hit animals. I've been doing it since I was little. I'm learning to stop though.

 

[maggiedemi]

Please try to count to ten when you get angry, this will help you cool down and remember that we don't hit those that we love. Is he peeing okay? Where is he licking himself? He could be constipated or have a UTI. How old is he?

 

[GoldyCat]

When your kitten does something you don't want him to clap your hands together or slap yourself to make a loud noise. Absolutely do not hit your kitten. You can pick him up gently and move him to wherever he's supposed to be. Or redirect his attention with a toy.

Get a 2nd litterbox. Some cats prefer to pee in one place and poop in another. If that doesn't work to make him stop pooping outside the box, try something like Dr. Elsey's Kitten Attract or Cat Attract litter. It is kind of expensive, but you don't need to fill the litterbox with it. Just spread a layer over the top of your regular litter.

 

[kashmir64]

I used to have an anger issue (a long, long time ago) so I do understand where you are coming from. Took me years to get it under control. When it gets to the point of you hitting, then walk away. Seriously, just walk away. If your kitten is into something, then move him to another room, and then walk away. This will give you time to settle and think. You are striking out of instinct and anger. Once you walk away, you tend to think more clearly.
I hate to be the one to say this, but I was there once and understand. But, if you don't get this under control, and quickly, you may need to consider re-homing the kitten (for it's safety)

As far as him pooping/peeing, how often do you clean the litter box?

 

[Margret]

The way another cat would express anger would be to hiss at the kitten, loudly. That should get his attention and tell him that you're angry. It's a way to use "words" to express anger rather than violence.

The second litter box and the Kitten/Cat Attract Litter are both good suggestions. Another possibility would be to get a bit of tissue paper, make sure the kitten is paying attention, and use the tissue to pick up the poop and place it in the litter box. Then use the litter scoop to bury it. This shows him exactly where you think the poop should be, and how you think it should be disposed of.

How old is Oliver? I'm wondering whether his mother had time to finish litter training him.

Margret

 

[duckpond]

No one deserves to be hit, not a person or a cat. I am sorry but i'm going to say it straight out, you need to re home the cat. You hopefully can find some help to control the anger and abusive issues, and i do wish the best for you. But please do not subject the cat, to this. Re home the cat with friends, or relatives, or take it to a shelter, do this for the cats safety, and your peace of mind. I think by posting you know there is a problem and could escalate to the point of no return. Let us know if we can help, but please do not let the abuse of an animal that looks to you for love and protection continue. Im sorry, but please re home the cat, now.

 

[JadeMariaa34]

No one deserves to be hit, not a person or a cat. I am sorry but i'm going to say it straight out, you need to re home the cat. You hopefully can find some help to control the anger and abusive issues, and i do wish the best for you. But please do not subject the cat, to this. Re home the cat with friends, or relatives, or take it to a shelter, do this for the cats safety, and your peace of mind. I think by posting you know there is a problem and could escalate to the point of no return. Let us know if we can help, but please do not let the abuse of an animal that looks to you for love and protection continue. Im sorry, but please re home the cat, now.

I'm not re-homing the cat after I just bought him... I'm dealing with the situation now.

 

[JadeMariaa34]

The way another cat would express anger would be to hiss at the kitten, loudly. That should get his attention and tell him that you're angry. It's a way to use "words" to express anger rather than violence.

The second litter box and the Kitten/Cat Attract Litter are both good suggestions. Another possibility would be to get a bit of tissue paper, make sure the kitten is paying attention, and use the tissue to pick up the poop and place it in the litter box. Then use the litter scoop to bury it. This shows him exactly where you think the poop should be, and how you think it should be disposed of.

How old is Oliver? I'm wondering whether his mother had time to finish litter training him.

Margret

He's 3 months old, and I don't think he's been trained by his mother.

 

[JadeMariaa34]

I used to have an anger issue (a long, long time ago) so I do understand where you are coming from. Took me years to get it under control. When it gets to the point of you hitting, then walk away. Seriously, just walk away. If your kitten is into something, then move him to another room, and then walk away. This will give you time to settle and think. You are striking out of instinct and anger. Once you walk away, you tend to think more clearly.
I hate to be the one to say this, but I was there once and understand. But, if you don't get this under control, and quickly, you may need to consider re-homing the kitten (for it's safety)

As far as him pooping/peeing, how often do you clean the litter box?

He barely pees, but he does pee in the box. He poops right beside it. I don't need to clean it because the litter is brand new. Also, I'm learning to redirect my anger, so I don't need to re-home him. I love him too much to lose him. I also started to put him in his carrier for 20 minutes (recommended on Google) for a time out.

 

[Neo_23]

I'm not re-homing the cat after I just bought him... I'm dealing with the situation now.

I think you should think about the kitten first. It sounds like you have some issues to deal with and it's not fair to the kitten to have to be punished while you are dealing with these. It would be best to give the kitten back to the shelter if that is where you got him from sooner than later. While they are still kittens they have a higher chance of being adopted. Make the selfless decision and the one that's best for the kitten. Unless you can truly say that you will from this point on never hit the kitten again then you should try your best to find him a better home.

 

[JadeMariaa34]

I think you should think about the kitten first. It sounds like you have some issues to deal with and it's not fair to the kitten to have to be punished while you are dealing with these. It would be best to give the kitten back to the shelter if that is where you got him from sooner than later. While they are still kittens they have a higher chance of being adopted. Make the selfless decision and the one that's best for the kitten. Unless you can truly say that you will from this point on never hit the kitten again then you should try your best to find him a better home.

I have just said that I won't hit him at all anymore.

 

[basscat]

Come see me, I have an idea.
Wear Crocs

 

[Margret]

He's 3 months old, and I don't think he's been trained by his mother.

Was his mother a feral cat?

When a kitten is born, the mother cat takes care of all hygiene for the kitten. Not just grooming, but also pooping and peeing. Very young kittens don't poop and pee on their own. Instead, when the mother is grooming what we would refer to as their "private parts" (not that cats think that way), the roughness of the mother's tongue stimulates them to poop and pee, which the mother cleans up immediately with her tongue, just as she uses her own tongue to clean those areas of herself. In other words, cats use their tongues as toilet paper. (I know - E-ew! Ick! We all have that reaction, but this is normal for cats and does them no harm. It does mean, however, that you should always have a cat bite looked at by your doctor because there are a lot of bacteria in it that can be dangerous for you. You should also be sure to keep your tetanus shots up to date.)

Once the kittens are old enough to stand and walk and be at least a little bit coordinated the mother teaches them to bury their waste. Only the alpha cats in a feral colony will leave their waste out in the open, as a sign of dominance. All other cats in the feral colony will bury their waste to show submission to the alphas.

When the mother is a house cat she teaches the kittens to use the litter box, once they're large enough to get into it on their own. But if for some reason the kitten is taken from the mother too soon the kitten never gets that training and it's up to a human to give it to them, and I'm out of my depth when it comes time for that; I've never had to do it.

He barely pees, but he does pee in the box.

This is a bit worrisome. If he isn't peeing very much he might be dehydrated. What are you feeding him?

A feral cat will get most of its water from the small rodents it kills and eats, so many cats won't drink water (though you should always make sure that fresh water is available to the cat). Therefore it's extremely unwise to feed a diet consisting only of kibble. Having kitten kibble available is perfectly okay, but his diet should consist primarily of canned kitten food so that he gets enough moisture.

I don't need to clean it because the litter is brand new.

This is true, maybe. It depends on what you mean by "clean." If you mean completely emptying the box and washing it and then replacing the litter with fresh litter then you're correct; it takes quite a while before litter becomes that dirty. But if you mean that you never scoop out the urine clumps (you are using clumping litter, right? - not everyone does) then those accumulating urine clumps may be the reason he doesn't want to poop in the box. His litter needs to be scooped at least once a day, and more frequently than that when his output increases.

I also started to put him in his carrier for 20 minutes (recommended on Google) for a time out.

Just make sure that you aren't giving him the notion that he's put in the carrier as a punishment. If you can make the carrier a place where he goes on his own when he wants a quiet place to nap, and/or a place where he hides when he wants to leap out and pounce on a toy it will stand you in good stead down the road when you need to take him to the vet, or a groomer, or just to travel somewhere with him.

Margret

 

[mazie]

Reading your thread is very troublesome with me. He is just a 3 month old kitten. Like the others recommend, please re-home him until you have learned to deal with your anger issues. It is that little kitten who is going to suffer from your actions. He does not understand why you are treating him the way you are treating him. He is just a baby. Even if he were an adult, he would need to be re-homed. We do not treat our pets with violence but with love.
One thing I do want to say in your defense, the fact that it takes courage to speak out about what is going on with your kitten. Cudos for not keeping his mistreatment a secret. Just by speaking out DOES tell us you want the best for this little sweet heart. Please take heed of what we all are saying and do the right thing, at least for now. One day, you very well may well be ready to own a pet, but please, do the right thing for now Thank you.

 

[maggiedemi]

I missed your post saying that he barely pees. That doesn't sound good. He could have a UTI, that could be the reason he's misbehaving, he doesn't feel good. Can you give him some canned food everyday? Can you take him to the vet for a checkup?

 

[epona]

I find this thread extremely disturbing and quite upsetting tbh.

I think you should deal with your anger issues before you have a pet, not try to deal with it because you got a pet and have started mistreating it.

I honestly think you should find a new home - a new safe and secure home - for the kitten, so that he is not the one having to help you to learn to stop hitting or yelling.

I hope you manage to get some help, anger problems can be very difficult to live with - and I do wish you all the best. But don't have a kitten right now, not until you have got some help and managed to improve your self-control.

(I say this as someone who does have anger issues, anxiety, all sorts of problems, but I have never ever hit an animal, ever - I'm sorry but that's just intolerable).

 

[lacy2000]

Maybe you need to start with a fish as a first pet instead... rehome the kitten! I’m sorry we can’t tell you how to fix your problems because you are not a cat, you are a human and this is a cat site. You need to go to a therapist to learn anger management techniques instead.

 

[AbbysMom]

While I understand that this thread is frustrating to many, the comments are getting a bit too personal. Please watch your tone when posting.