new kitten won't let me near her - please help!

[amiandnyx]

Hi - i'm new here and need some help please...
i adopted a kitten from a cat charity and picked her up on wednesday (dec 22). She was 14 weeks old then turns out she was born to a mum who was hyper protective and the mom wouldn't really let anyone near her kittens. the charity looking after them had trouble getting the mum to allow them access to the kittens - getting bitten and scratched, but they did get them to the vet etc and had their shots before we picked her up.
read all the tips here first so we set up a sanctuary room and left the carrier in their when we got her home to let her come out on her own. it took about 24 hours for her to come out and explore but she now does so. eats from the bowl and uses the litter tray.
but she cries all the time - like loudly - and will hiss and growl if i try and come near her. have spent all my time on the floor following the tips.
yesterday (day 3!) i managed to get her to come forward enough to eat a bit of food off my finger but that's the best i've done and it's not something she does all the time now. just that once.
when i come in to the room, if she's out, she runs back into her safe space (carrier). If i can get her to come out with play toys she'll play but won't let me approach her. If i, or anyone else, tries to touch her or even reach towards her she backs off, growls and hisses madly. clearly very scared.
She spends a lot of time just crying out - especially at night (I sleep on the floor to try and comfort her but still won't come near me). Seems she wants comfort but won't let me give it to her. Its so sad and I'm reality worried now as it's been 5 days.
i think i've done everything people suggest on here, but can anyone who might have had the same issue let me know if there's anything else i can do or whether there might be something wrong? I just want to hold my new kitten and love her but i can't...please help! Thanks

 

[game misconduct]

time and patience is what you need to give quit trying to force/rush things allow it to settle in on its own time,you need to earn its trust aware that you may never have a cat that will be ok with being held etc.(they are not stuffed animals) my cat hates being held/cuddledbut is ok with it on her own terms.its been less than a week also so your kitten is probably still missing its siblings/mom and such in new surroundings(like a kid alone and lost)

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Congrats on the new kitten. Sorry she's so nervous around you though.

From what you posted, I wonder if her mom was a feral cat, and that's why she wouldn't let people near her kittens. It's sad, though, as even though they were around people, the kittens didn't get socialized enough during their early weeks. For that reason, it may take a while for her to get really comfortable around you.

It's good that she's eating and using the litter box, so that's one thing you don't have to worry about.

About her crying, she probably misses her mom and siblings. Maybe she'd like a Snuggle Kitty. It has a heartbeat like a mama cat. Pet stores have them, as well as Amazon.

As for her nervousness around you, time and patience will make a difference.

In case you haven't come across these yet, here's some TCS articles that might be helpful:
10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat – TheCatSite Articles
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats – TheCatSite Articles
How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding? – TheCatSite Articles
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me – TheCatSite Articles

Although neither situation applies to your kitten, there may be some tips in these articles you can try.
Handling Feral Cats – TheCatSite Articles
How To Help An Abused Cat Recover – TheCatSite Articles

Good luck. Keep us updated on her progress.

And post a pic of her, when you're able.
How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post | TheCatSite

 

[Kieka]

I know it's not what you want to hear, but more time and more patience. I'd agree, sounds like a feral cat mom and the rescue didn't separate the kittens to socialize them when they probably should have. It does sound like you are taking the right steps but you need to manage your expectations and slow down. I'd also agree getting a snuggle buddy for her would be worth it. I'd add, getting a well socialized cat who likes people might also help to both have a buddy and have a good example of behavior to follow. It's going to take weeks (or months) to socialize your kitten because she is just a smidgen old and has already established her view of humans from her moms example. It doesn't mean she can't or won't be socialized but but does mean it will take longer.

My girl was feral and it took months of working with her and slowly expanding her world to get her comfortable. Start with just continuing to hold out food and getting her to eat. As for petting, settle for one finger pets when she will allow it and slowly add in two, three and then a whole hand. It will take time and you have to be patient. The first few months with my girl it was me holding out my hand while sitting and letting her rub against my still hand. Eventually I was able to move my hand. It was baby steps and not pushing past what she was comfortable with. My girl is 7 years old and while she is now the ultimate lap cat and demands petting, she still isn't comfortable being picked up or hugged. Winning the trust of a scared cat is a lesson in patience but also vastly rewarding because the trust she learns is because of and for you. Not because you are a human and humans are nice but because you as an individual are worth trust.

 

[catsknowme]

Welcome from California to your new kitten and you! You are definitely doing a superb job of "tuning in" to your kitten who is feral - the fact that she is vocal, eating and drinking shows that she feels somewhat safe. When an older feral is taken in, they are so frightened that they hunker down, remaining silent, refusing to come out to eat or drink.

Sleeping nearby while using soothing words and tones in response to her crying will reassure her that you are now her protector. Seeing you as Protector will conflict with all she has been taught.

Since before she could see or hear, her mother probably emitted subsonic growls whenever the vibration or scent of humans was near so to her baby mind, humans are to be initially perceived as predatory monsters who eat baby kittens. She was indeed fortunate that the rescue did take them in although it would have been much better for the kittens to separate them from the mother - it is an awful feeling to "steal" babies from protective moms but it's best for the babies (I have several elderly feral moms who still loathe me and maintain a "side B" colony of cats who see me as The Feeder Who Must Not Be Trusted even though their offspring happily follow me about the yard, begging for cuddles, pets & grooming).

Right now, as the others have said, your little one is calling for her kitty family and will have grief when the only response is Silence. If you don't have another cat, you might be able to add one of her siblings although that might delay the taming. I had to take on 2 siblings, Jack and Jill, and I kept them in a small bathroom. It was scary to use that toilet because they would growl so. I discovered that their "currency" was boiled chicken and not-too-crispy bacon; I would put a treat in the shower before I sat down and they would nibble on that. I would use a sing-song voice to call to them "My Lih-tuhl Van-dolls" before entering the bathroom and now they come running with happy expectations when I use their "call sign". I kept a rat-tail comb and toothbrush on hand to reach out to groom them - now, 2 years later, they are exceptionally affectionate although very bonded. If you can swing having 2 cats, you might ask about the other siblings, if your kitty was bonded with one. Until now, likely her experiences with humans has been limited to VERY-busy caregivers and the painful & scary experience of going to the vet for injections and spay surgery.

 

[amiandnyx]

thank you all so much for your replies (and to the mods for moving my post!) - it's reassuring to know that you think we're going about things the right way and i shouldn't be too worried. I have made some good progress today spending most of the day with her and using small regular feeding times to get her used to eating from her bowl when its next to me and i'm talking to her. She will now come out and play (chasing things) when I'm there and eat from a bowl right next to me. she'll still growl and hiss if i put my hand towards her but i think i am going in the right direction slowly considering where we started from.
Thanks again and if anyone else has any tips to help let me know - i aim to use the toothbrush idea in time for grooming. Wish us luck!

 

[alana0011]

I rescued three feral kittens three and a half years ago, and it has taken that long for one of them to warm up to me, and not all the time-usually, when he knows I'm going to feed! I have a multi-cat household, and unfortunately, I have not had the time to devote to him. His siblings tamed must fine! I tried to get him adopted but I guess I was just too picky, so he's here. He is a gorgeous Siamese mix, and he loves most of the other cats, but not me quite as much. He does let me pick him up now, which is huge! When I've played with them with a string toy, I think he bonds a little more with me then.

 

[maggie101]

thank you all so much for your replies (and to the mods for moving my post!) - it's reassuring to know that you think we're going about things the right way and i shouldn't be too worried. I have made some good progress today spending most of the day with her and using small regular feeding times to get her used to eating from her bowl when its next to me and i'm talking to her. She will now come out and play (chasing things) when I'm there and eat from a bowl right next to me. she'll still growl and hiss if i put my hand towards her but i think i am going in the right direction slowly considering where we started from.
Thanks again and if anyone else has any tips to help let me know - i aim to use the toothbrush idea in time for grooming. Wish us luck!

When you pet her start by scratching behind her ears. Her fav spot. Slowly put your hand on the bowl so she can smell it. I rescued a cat that stayed under my couch for 3 months then bedroom for a year finally came out on her own. You are making great progress! Congrats! One thing that helped is she love to be brushed and softly talking or even singing!

 

[Meowmee]

I think you are doing the right things- it will take more time because she is older. The rescue for whatever reason did not separate the kittens from mom and socialize them earlier.
One of my babies who I adopted from a town shelter, her mom was feral they told me and had been pts due to aggression, so she and her sister were being nursed with a tame mom and a younger litter. She was not totally unsocialized like your baby but she was still suspicious of humans. I spent a lot of extra time with her and she eventually became a lap cat. She was touchable but didn’t really like it etc. at first.

Currently I am trying to tame an older cat( he is prolly 1.5 to 2 years now) who was dumped two years ago who is now aggressive/ fearful, he is not touchable but he will sniff my finger now and eat treats from my hands etc. He is taking his meds in food pretty well and on meds for parasites and for the aggression/ anxiety which helps him- gabapentin calms him a lot. I am hoping when he comes out of the drop trap soon he will become touchable over time. His poop is nearly back to normal and I am letting him and Quinn meet through the cage. So far Quinn is growling, hissing a lot etc. which is what he did with Merlin at first.

I would try purrli, the heart beat cuddle buddy, set up another little space for her with a bed etc. where she can retreat to. Try catnip, pheromone, spray and treats she loves- he really loves like churu and the crunchy treats so I recommend them. Each time you go in give her really great food.
Another thing that is used to tame feral kittens is the kitten purrito, wrap them in a towel and touch their faces etc. to get them used to being handled. Playing with her with wand toys and other toys will help too. A companion, her own age if possible, or older who is socialized could help too. Try reading to her everyday as well. And play some music, sing to her and set up a cat tv tablet with kitties so she doesn't feel so lonely.


Taming Feral Kittens | Community Concern For Cats

 

[cassieclovis]

Hi - i'm new here and need some help please...
i adopted a kitten from a cat charity and picked her up on wednesday (dec 22). She was 14 weeks old then turns out she was born to a mum who was hyper protective and the mom wouldn't really let anyone near her kittens. the charity looking after them had trouble getting the mum to allow them access to the kittens - getting bitten and scratched, but they did get them to the vet etc and had their shots before we picked her up.
read all the tips here first so we set up a sanctuary room and left the carrier in their when we got her home to let her come out on her own. it took about 24 hours for her to come out and explore but she now does so. eats from the bowl and uses the litter tray.
but she cries all the time - like loudly - and will hiss and growl if i try and come near her. have spent all my time on the floor following the tips.
yesterday (day 3!) i managed to get her to come forward enough to eat a bit of food off my finger but that's the best i've done and it's not something she does all the time now. just that once.
when i come in to the room, if she's out, she runs back into her safe space (carrier). If i can get her to come out with play toys she'll play but won't let me approach her. If i, or anyone else, tries to touch her or even reach towards her she backs off, growls and hisses madly. clearly very scared.
She spends a lot of time just crying out - especially at night (I sleep on the floor to try and comfort her but still won't come near me). Seems she wants comfort but won't let me give it to her. Its so sad and I'm reality worried now as it's been 5 days.
i think i've done everything people suggest on here, but can anyone who might have had the same issue let me know if there's anything else i can do or whether there might be something wrong? I just want to hold my new kitten and love her but i can't...please help! Thanks

Hey,

My cat didn’t let me near her for weeks. Then she realized I was mom who gives her food and water, and most importantly warmth and love. Do not worry. Do not crowd her. I promise she will warm up. Just be patient

 

[Mkmos]

Hi - i'm new here and need some help please...
i adopted a kitten from a cat charity and picked her up on wednesday (dec 22). She was 14 weeks old then turns out she was born to a mum who was hyper protective and the mom wouldn't really let anyone near her kittens. the charity looking after them had trouble getting the mum to allow them access to the kittens - getting bitten and scratched, but they did get them to the vet etc and had their shots before we picked her up.
read all the tips here first so we set up a sanctuary room and left the carrier in their when we got her home to let her come out on her own. it took about 24 hours for her to come out and explore but she now does so. eats from the bowl and uses the litter tray.
but she cries all the time - like loudly - and will hiss and growl if i try and come near her. have spent all my time on the floor following the tips.
yesterday (day 3!) i managed to get her to come forward enough to eat a bit of food off my finger but that's the best i've done and it's not something she does all the time now. just that once.
when i come in to the room, if she's out, she runs back into her safe space (carrier). If i can get her to come out with play toys she'll play but won't let me approach her. If i, or anyone else, tries to touch her or even reach towards her she backs off, growls and hisses madly. clearly very scared.
She spends a lot of time just crying out - especially at night (I sleep on the floor to try and comfort her but still won't come near me). Seems she wants comfort but won't let me give it to her. Its so sad and I'm reality worried now as it's been 5 days.
i think i've done everything people suggest on here, but can anyone who might have had the same issue let me know if there's anything else i can do or whether there might be something wrong? I just want to hold my new kitten and love her but i can't...please help! Thanks

I’m socializing 3 feral kittens for 2 1/2 weeks, one is doing great ( can pet all over & hold a bit but squirmy) other 2 slower progress but can give treat & hand feed wet cat food., I’ve used stick toys & they love getting brushed with them & playing with them & I use a plastic comb which they now like. Also try kitty up tuna pouches - you can feed & slowly try & pet. You might want to wear a glove. I’ve heard they like back scratcher ls but haven’t tried yet. Always stay when feeding, good luck, will take some time.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Rubysmama's suggestion of a Snuggle Kitty sounds excellent. I got one of these for born-outdoors baby Sishya when I brought her inside as a small, rather sickly kitten. I think it helped her. Also, we were a multi-cat family, and she was the star attraction for everyone when she came out of her special room (spare bathroom). She was instantly adopted by everyone in the house, and everyone loved her and babied her.
Wand-and-lure toys, like Cat Dancer and da Bird, are wonderful for socializing reluctant cats and kittens and getting them more acclimated to human presence.
Everyone who has posted before me has given excellent suggestions. I hope you'll keep us informed as to her progress and also post pix of your little girl!

Sishya