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- Jul 21, 2018
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Hi-
I've been lurking around looking at similar threads but wanted to post and get something out there for advice.
We have a 5 year old tortie named Dawson. Dawson came to live with us on 12/22/17. She was my brother's cat and he passed away. He had her since she was little, and funny story about her, she and her sister were found in the mountains of NM at 3 weeks old, being raised by a chicken (!), before being saved by my brother's friend, who bottle fed her until she was weaned. Dawson has been an only cat, pretty spoiled and has not spent much time around other people or animals. She's not a lap cat, not super affectionate but is also not anti-social, she loves being around us and often lays nearby in whatever room we are in. She's adjusted well to our home, has the run of the house and has never exhibited any bad behavior, except when new people come over. She hisses and kind of lurks around, then she eventually warms up.
On 7/7/18, we adopted a shelter cat, a 7 month old tabby we named Stevie. Stevie and her 2 litter mates were found on the street and someone attempted to raise them but it was too much, so they were taken to a shelter. Stevie was the last of her litter mates to be adopted, she was very, very shy, and had been in the shelter since 4/18. The behaviorist from the shelter told me that they worked really hard with Stevie but that she needed a family and they felt she would do well with a confident older cat to show her the ropes.
Part of the reason that we adopted Stevie is that my brother had spent a lot of time at home so Dawson was never really alone. Both my husband and I work, so Dawson was left alone for most of the day, and seemed clingy when we got hone, always following us around. Also, my brother had requested donations in his memory be made to a no kill shelter and I wanted to honor his memory by doing something to help an animal.
We set up a special room for Stevie in a spare bedroom with the door shut. Stevie did not interact with us the entire first 3 weeks, she spent much of the time under the bed or a chair. We spent time in there, quietly sitting or listening to music and my husband even started sleeping int he room. I know she came out at night because her toys were all moved around, she had a good appetite and used her litter box. She has now started interacting with us more, playing with her wand toys and is now super affectionate with us both, crawling all over us and wanting to play.
We have also put Dawson in the Jack and Jill bedrooms for the night (she likes one of the rooms because she likes to sit/sleep on the window seat) and opened the door to let Stevie out to roam the house at night. We know she actually leaves the room because toys outside the room are moved and she's eaten the treats I put out of the room. She always ends up back in "her" room in the morning.
Dawson was very curious about what was going on in the room so we stacked 3 baby gates so they could see each other. We also put Dawson's food outside of the gates and Stevie's right on the inside (open feeding). Stevie would see Dawson and hiss/growl and run under the chair and Dawson basically lurked outside, staring in most of the time but didn't seem too upset about things so we let her in the room a few times, watching them both closely. That seemed to go well for a while, Stevie would hide and come out from time to time and Dawson would watch her, flicking her tail.
One day Dawson went for Stevie, pounced and hissed, and Stevie went for the chair where she stayed until we got Dawson out. We let it go a few days and tried again. Same thing happened. We try to play with them or encourage them with treats which works to a point, then Dawson always goes at Stevie. When this happens, Dawson gets a squirt from the water bottle and she stops. Then she just lounges in the room or rolls over on her back and looks generally happy until we shoo her out. The difference now, is that Stevie doesn't take it anymore and is defending herself, she most recently swatted at Dawson while she was sitting in the tree and Dawson seemed like she was trying to play nice.
At this point, we haven't done anymore supervised visitation and Dawson sits outside the door long periods of time, looking in the room, occasionally climbing the gates to try to get in.
Now we are doing scheduled feeding across from each other. When they see each other, Dawson lunges and Stevie hisses and neither of them eat. Or one of them is fine and tries to eat and the other one creates a stink. We put the food up and hope they will get hungry enough to figure it out. We still let Stevie out at night from time to time, to get her scent in the house and to make her braver and more comfortable.
We give Dawson just as much attention as she used to get, maybe more.
We just purchased Feliway diffusers for the hallway (we already had one in the bedroom) and other rooms in the house in an attempt to help.
We love both of the girls so much, they are such sweethearts and we understand that they might not love each other. I think they are now both defending "their" territory, neither one of them has been really socialized much to people or other animals and it really hasn't been too long at all since we brought Stevie home but I feel like Dawson is getting kind of withdrawn and my husband and I are anxious and I feel like I've ruined Dawson's life. I also worry that now they have formed such negative attachments to each other with all the hissing/growling etc that they won't be able to get past it.
I was hoping I could get some advice about what we could do better, what we did wrong, or anything to help mitigate this situation besides just allowing time.
Dawson, Stevie and my husband and I thank you in advance. I've attached pics so you can take a look at our girls
I've been lurking around looking at similar threads but wanted to post and get something out there for advice.
We have a 5 year old tortie named Dawson. Dawson came to live with us on 12/22/17. She was my brother's cat and he passed away. He had her since she was little, and funny story about her, she and her sister were found in the mountains of NM at 3 weeks old, being raised by a chicken (!), before being saved by my brother's friend, who bottle fed her until she was weaned. Dawson has been an only cat, pretty spoiled and has not spent much time around other people or animals. She's not a lap cat, not super affectionate but is also not anti-social, she loves being around us and often lays nearby in whatever room we are in. She's adjusted well to our home, has the run of the house and has never exhibited any bad behavior, except when new people come over. She hisses and kind of lurks around, then she eventually warms up.
On 7/7/18, we adopted a shelter cat, a 7 month old tabby we named Stevie. Stevie and her 2 litter mates were found on the street and someone attempted to raise them but it was too much, so they were taken to a shelter. Stevie was the last of her litter mates to be adopted, she was very, very shy, and had been in the shelter since 4/18. The behaviorist from the shelter told me that they worked really hard with Stevie but that she needed a family and they felt she would do well with a confident older cat to show her the ropes.
Part of the reason that we adopted Stevie is that my brother had spent a lot of time at home so Dawson was never really alone. Both my husband and I work, so Dawson was left alone for most of the day, and seemed clingy when we got hone, always following us around. Also, my brother had requested donations in his memory be made to a no kill shelter and I wanted to honor his memory by doing something to help an animal.
We set up a special room for Stevie in a spare bedroom with the door shut. Stevie did not interact with us the entire first 3 weeks, she spent much of the time under the bed or a chair. We spent time in there, quietly sitting or listening to music and my husband even started sleeping int he room. I know she came out at night because her toys were all moved around, she had a good appetite and used her litter box. She has now started interacting with us more, playing with her wand toys and is now super affectionate with us both, crawling all over us and wanting to play.
We have also put Dawson in the Jack and Jill bedrooms for the night (she likes one of the rooms because she likes to sit/sleep on the window seat) and opened the door to let Stevie out to roam the house at night. We know she actually leaves the room because toys outside the room are moved and she's eaten the treats I put out of the room. She always ends up back in "her" room in the morning.
Dawson was very curious about what was going on in the room so we stacked 3 baby gates so they could see each other. We also put Dawson's food outside of the gates and Stevie's right on the inside (open feeding). Stevie would see Dawson and hiss/growl and run under the chair and Dawson basically lurked outside, staring in most of the time but didn't seem too upset about things so we let her in the room a few times, watching them both closely. That seemed to go well for a while, Stevie would hide and come out from time to time and Dawson would watch her, flicking her tail.
One day Dawson went for Stevie, pounced and hissed, and Stevie went for the chair where she stayed until we got Dawson out. We let it go a few days and tried again. Same thing happened. We try to play with them or encourage them with treats which works to a point, then Dawson always goes at Stevie. When this happens, Dawson gets a squirt from the water bottle and she stops. Then she just lounges in the room or rolls over on her back and looks generally happy until we shoo her out. The difference now, is that Stevie doesn't take it anymore and is defending herself, she most recently swatted at Dawson while she was sitting in the tree and Dawson seemed like she was trying to play nice.
At this point, we haven't done anymore supervised visitation and Dawson sits outside the door long periods of time, looking in the room, occasionally climbing the gates to try to get in.
Now we are doing scheduled feeding across from each other. When they see each other, Dawson lunges and Stevie hisses and neither of them eat. Or one of them is fine and tries to eat and the other one creates a stink. We put the food up and hope they will get hungry enough to figure it out. We still let Stevie out at night from time to time, to get her scent in the house and to make her braver and more comfortable.
We give Dawson just as much attention as she used to get, maybe more.
We just purchased Feliway diffusers for the hallway (we already had one in the bedroom) and other rooms in the house in an attempt to help.
We love both of the girls so much, they are such sweethearts and we understand that they might not love each other. I think they are now both defending "their" territory, neither one of them has been really socialized much to people or other animals and it really hasn't been too long at all since we brought Stevie home but I feel like Dawson is getting kind of withdrawn and my husband and I are anxious and I feel like I've ruined Dawson's life. I also worry that now they have formed such negative attachments to each other with all the hissing/growling etc that they won't be able to get past it.
I was hoping I could get some advice about what we could do better, what we did wrong, or anything to help mitigate this situation besides just allowing time.
Dawson, Stevie and my husband and I thank you in advance. I've attached pics so you can take a look at our girls
