Need some support, am I doing the right thing?

[kailie]

Oh guys, I seriously need some support and some reassurance that I am doing the right thing.

As most of you know, one of our fosters, Surprise, has been in with us in our bedroom. We let her out with our cats occasionally, but she terrorizes them. We tried to put her in the room with Macy and her babies, but she was VERY mean to them. Of course she can't go in with the foster boys as they are all intact.

She was the cat who was literally dropped off at our doorstep months ago. We wouldn't have taken her in otherwise. We got her paperwork done up through the shelter so that she would be fostered by us but adopted out through them.

Literally guys, we haven't had a good night's sleep since she came to us. She is by far the most energetic cat I have ever known. I love her to death, but we are SO exhausted guys, and she's causing Dana and I a lot of stress. We have had NO ONE interested in her the whole time she has been here. We have tried to get her into one of the local pet stores who adopt out for the shelter, but they won't take her where she doesn't get along with other cats.

So today I talked to my friend at the shelter and she told me to bring her in. She'd get lots of exposure there, and they won't put her down or anything because she is healthy AND they know me. They would always call me before it came to anything like that.

It breaks my heart but I feel it is the best thing for ALL of us, I just feel like I failed her.

I KNOW she'll find a good home, but still...

It hurts, you know?

On a more positive note:

1) Guido is being adopted. She is going in to pay the fees and do the paperwork today, and we're going to make sure he is neutered and hang on to him for her until Christmas week. He's a surprise for her husband.

2) We also have someone coming to meet Orson any minute! Send those vibes that the meeting goes well!

My friend also told me about some feral kittens that would do fine in our foster rooms, so although Surprise will be going to the shelter, we'll probably be taking some foster kittens home. I promised Dana though, that from here on in, no matter what, our bedroom is a kitty free zone.

 

[my4llma]

Maybe your friend's shelter is her best chance to get seen by people and get adopted. She could go to a home where she's an only cat and have a very good happy life!

I had a kitten Autumn, she was great with us, loved us. But she hated my other cats. She did like Lynxx though. But she attacked them for no reason with teeth and claws. We watched our cats did nothing to provoke her. Luckily she ignored Luna when Luna kept trying to be friends and only hurt her twice. Autumn had something against Midnight, she kept going after him more than the others. She clearly wasn't happy here, she couldn't have been if she felt she had to attack the others. She is now with a family where she is an only cat, she's having the time of her life, and she is very happy. We're happy for her. Luna is a very friendly cat, she'd welcome any cat. Lynxx has so much going on I don't think he notices that Autumn's gone but I know Midnight notices, he's finally relaxed again. He was very tense the whole time she was here. If we had kept her it wouldn't have been fair for her, or for my other cats. We wanted these guys to be friends, not hurt each other.

 

[noisette]

Yea, that sucks, but it really does sound like your doing the best you can for your family. You never know, she may find her family there and go to a really great home.

As for failing her, you didn't. Don't think like that. If it didn't work out that's ok. Maybe she wasn't meant to be in your home. Someone else will take her from the shelter and be happy as can be to have such an energetic and feisty kitty.

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

Well, with as many cats as you have in your house, you've got to have peace, and it's really not fair to anyone or any cat, to have her locked up in your bedroom all the time. She's probably lonely in there when you two aren't there, which may be why you can't get any sleep; all the Nifty Nine may be a little jealous of her since she gets to spend the nights with you, etc.

This may just be the right thing for everyone, even though you feel as if you have failed her. Afterall, you did not ask for this, remember, you took her in when someone dumped her literally at your door. And your friend will not let anything happen to her.

She'll find her furever home with this new exposure, and all will be well.

 

[nurseangel]

It sounds like Suprise might do better if she could be the only cat in a home. If you friend at the shelter can promise you she won't be put down, I think this may be an opportunity for her. I know it's very hard, as much as you care about cats, but it may be for the best.

Warning, sad story, some may wish to skip this paragraph
Some of DH's relatives had an English bulldog that they had bought with the intention of breeding. Well, those dogs have difficulty giving birth...I don't know much about dogs but I think there often has to be help from a vet with that particular breed. Sadly, all of Matilda's puppies died during her C-section. Afterwards, Matilda was not the same. She was fine with woman of the house, but hated the man and little boy. She would growl or try to bite them. They thought she blamed them somehow for the death of her puppies. The woman cried and cried, but eventually took Matilda to the animal shelter with the understanding that she would not be put down and would be returned to the family rather than that. They had no trouble finding a home for her, and of course she was spayed since the shelter here has all adopted animals altered. (Just for the record, I would not have ever tried to breed a type of dog known to have such difficulties given birth.)

Anyway, Kailie, we all know how much you love cats. Why, you are a champion in helping them! It's hard to tell how many innocent lives you've changed for the better. I know it's very difficult decision for you. Whether you chose to keep her or send her, you have my support. Things are so much harder on people that actually care than the ones who don't.

 

[mbjerkness]

Sweetie you have not failed Surprise. She needs a place where she is an only kitty. I think you are doing the right thing for her and everyone else. You need your rest and your other kitties need peace. It is not always easy, sometimes for the better good we have to make difficult decisions.

 

[ldg]

I think you're definitely doing the right thing. The point of fostering is to get kitties used to living in a home, to socialize them - and you've done that part. Other kitties that are aggressive to other cats sometimes NEED the shelter environment - to "learn" normal cat interaction by watching and seeing the others without being able to actually interact with them (until she's ready and its supervised). The "alone time" helps them calm down - and the interaction with multiple people HELPS make them become better candidates for adoption.

I think this is a GOOD thing for Surprise. And as you well know, one of the hardest parts of rescuing is knowing your limits. You've done your part, and it's stressing you - and doing this is what's best for you, Dana, AND Surprise!

 

[kailie]

Thank you guys...

I KNOW it was the right thing to do, it's just hard though, as we got attached. I always do. The shelter has a new director now, and things are SO much better. There is virtually NO euthanization unless the animal is suffering. My friend showed me the sick room, where all sick cats are being treated with meds, where as before they would have been put to sleep. They all promised me they would keep me up to date on her progress and they are all confident they will find her a forever home.

I met the woman who adopted Guido there too! She paid for him and everything, but he will stay here until Christmas week. I have his paperwork though and he is being neutered Dec. 6th. The woman is wonderful and gave me a BIG hug.

I don't feel too great about the woman who came to meet Orson. He didn't really take to her, and although she said she'll be in touch, I just got that feeling I'll never hear from her again. We'll see though. If it's meant to be, it will be.

We have 2 new foster kittens in with Macy and her babies for Cat Rescue Maritimes. (ca-r-ma) One is about 7-8 weeks, very close to the same size as Macy's babes! He's a gorgeous little man, fluffy cream and white we named Jasper. He's already tried to headbutt Macy but she told him off.

The second one is a BEAUTIFUL grey female Dana named Button, but she is truly feral and currently terrified. Macy didn't even glance twice at her.

She's currently hiding, but with some time, patience and a whole lot of love, she'll come around.

Ahhh, the emotional roller coaster of fostering!