Need as much advice and opinions I can get!

[Overtone]

Okay so I need help! The situation is different, as everyones situation will always be. Anyways moving on, I have to start from the beginning because some things matter and youll need to know to give the best possible advice.

Where I use to live (which is only a couple of streets away) we had what started as 1 female cat but now has evolved to an awesome feral cat family that lived under our house....more like an under house garage, anyways every single one of them I slowly gained the trust of and now I can pet and go near anyone of them and they are not afraid at all. They even bring there kittens up to the front door when they are old enough to explore, its a freaking awesome family...
I've personally adopted 4 out of the group which live with me now in my new home. There was only one cat from the family that did not come around, nor hangout and help raise kittens with the other queens...she was different, we barley saw her. One day I was outside and unfortunately she was struck by a car while crossing the street, I cried...we buried her and later that evening I remembered she was recently pregnant. So we went across the street to the church to see if she had any kittens and she did....
1 beautiful white kitten with blue eyes (mommy was all black). She was afraid but I was not going to let her fend for herself out there all alone, my husband tried to catch her and she was so scared that she kept running head first into the doors of the church...so we called it off and decided to set a trap.
once we set the trap I waited for maybe 45 minutes till she finally smelled the food...she walked right out into the trap but the step plate did not trigger, so my husband quickly ran up behind her and tripped it himself before she got away...she was not hurt.
She was so afraid, we put a blanket over her and put her in the living room by herself with the door open and just waited....
after that we named her Minnie and It took maybe a month but she finally warmed up to us. I would play at least 3 times a day for over and hour with her and my other cat Bug bc I wanted them to get along!!
2 months later she is sleeping in the bed with me and my husband and Bug which only was 5 months older than her.
Everything was perfectly fine...about 4 months later we had to move due to my husbands medical condition and this is where everything went south...
After moving into our new home she completely changed, not even the same one bit...
She is terrified of my husband now, I mean literally terrified. She will do anything to get away from him, its insane... same thing with me, but I slowly gained her trust again and she would only come out and hangout when my husband was not home. She still would run and hide if I got up or made any sudden movements but she would come right back out..
We had to walk on egg shells because we knew if we scared her she would do crazy things just to get out of the way and hide...like jump from the top of the stairs straight down...we were so worried that we would get her hurt somehow.
Gets worse...
July 1st of this year, more than a year after we first brought her home she somehow managed to get out....I was devastated because I knew there was no way we were going to get her back....we cant even catch her to give her flea meds when she was in the house, there was no way we were going to catch her now that she is outside...
I looked day in and day out for her and 2 weeks later found her across the street in my neighbors back yard....I did everything you can image to try and catch her and finally 2 months later she actually came in side through a whole we had in the bathroom (a pipe busted and was getting fixed)
when she came in I closed the bathroom door and finally was relieved to have her home...
She was more afraid than than ever, mowing really loud and freaking out.... I felt really bad, because she honestly lives in fear and she probably was much less stressed and scared outside so I let her outside....
again, I was devastated and again went on a mission to catch her again... if something would happen to her, I would feel so bad and couldnt live with that...so again she came in through the bathroom and we caught her the same way....
Shes been inside for almost 2 weeks now, and all she does is hide... will not come out to eat, wont come out to play with her best friend like she used to...nothing, she wont even come to me anymore or come out when my husband leaves...


I don't know what to do at this point because I dont want anything to happen her but at the same time I dont want her to live in fear 24 hours day...What should I do?
When she was outside the first time, she would come over and hangout with her best friend Kona(our older male cat) because we would let him out to play for a few hours a night and they were literally best friends....I mean cuddling together all the time, playing, eating, walk around the house crying looking for each other...I mean they had a great relationship and at night when he was out she would come over and hangout with him outside, eat then go back across the street..
I love Minnie, she is so sweet and before she got out she was a great cat and I love her company but I dont want to just give her away bc anyone who gets her is not going to have any luck with her and I dont want her going home to home and end up in the pound at the end....I also dont want her outside because if something were to happenI would not be able to live with myself
I also don't want her to live is fear 24 hours a day by keeping her inside....

WHAT THE HELL DO I DO? thank you in advance
any opinions, suggestions and advice will be so helpful

 

[silent meowlook]

Ok. First off thank you for helping the cats.
With Minnie, she has to stay in or it will kill you if you find her dead, and eventually you will if she is out. Or just never see her again.

Get a large cage and set it up with a litter pan, food and water. Wait until she goes in and close her in there and cover with a sheet. Leave part uncovered so she can see out if she chooses.
You can also enclose her into a small room that isn’t used much. Room would be better. Everyday, feed change water and litter and that’s it.
Hardest thing for people to do, but ignore her. Don’t look at her or talk to her. Let her hide if she wants. She needs to decompress for anywhere from 2 weeks to a month. She will let you know when she is ready.

play is great but wait until she is ready.
When she starts to seek out attention from you, then you can interact with her with short play sessions. This is a long drawn out process so be patient.
Don’t worry about her mental health as she really needs some down time without stress right now.
Has she been spayed?

 

[Overtone]

I would have never even thought doing something like what you have suggested, but it does make a slot of sense. She has been on high alert and just hasnt taken a break since the move, I feel so bad everyday because I would never want any animal to live in constant fear everyday especially with me. I feel like it is our fault, we messed up somewhere and somehow I just dont know where.
No she is not spayed because were afraid to put her through that experience of catching her, putting her in a cage, going into an office with unfamiliar smells, unfamiliar people, and then surgery. I'm more afraid of her ripping her stitches open somehow from the desperate attempt to get away from us. I know she should be spayed, but since the move I haven't felt confident enough to do so.
Can cats develop mental disease of some sort?
When she looks at me one eye is off, like its looking hard right while the other is straight and its almost as if shes blind and cant see anything...like she hears me, but is slowly looking for where I am... I know shes not blind because back when she normal she never displayed anything that would make me think she is...like she saw her food, the toys, her buddies
Also if she decides to let me pet her after hours of me on the floor with my hand out calling her and reassuring her she is safe she will purr really loudly, knead me, rub all over me, meow and talk to me, and this can go on till I actually stand up....once I do, its like she forgets who I am completely and is trying to get away and hide from me bc I'm an enemy...like she forgets who I am right when I stand up..
I've never had this problem before, or have I seen one like this....she is literally deathly afraid of us, even feral cats eventually warm up to us...no not her

 

[fionasmom]

Welcome to The Cat Site!

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat – TheCatSite Articles
How To Help An Abused Cat Recover – TheCatSite Articles
How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding? – TheCatSite Articles

Thank you for helping this cat. I agree that she needs to stay with you for all the reasons mentioned. First of all, with the above articles, you may find something in one of them that might help. I do not think that Minnie is in any way abused, but she is acting like an abused cat might. There are a couple of points to consider. Possibly something scared her at your new house; it could be something that you are not or were not aware of like an animal she spotted outside the window. If it is that, from her behavior, I would suggest that it might still be around. This does not mean that you have a grizzly bear outside your living room window, but she is reacting as if you do.

She needs to go to the vet. Absolutely she needs to be spayed, and you need to be able to discuss her eye issue with the doctor. This may be the crux of it....or not. She may have a condition which has affected her vision, so now everything is scary. If her vision were faltering in your old house, she knew where everything was and what everything was going to do. At the new place, she has never gotten a good look at what is around her so she is on the defensive.

As S silent meowlook says, she needs a crate or a small room of her own. If there is a medical issue, she is at large in a very frightening world, even if you are there to protect her. She has some bond to you or she would not show the affection that she does and while it is true that some cats do not recognize their owner out of context, especially outdoor cats, she is reacting too quickly to you standing up for it to be that, unless there is another issue.She won't like going to the vet but it is necessary. Bring her home to her own little safe room and start from there. Please let us know what happens.