Need Advice on Helping 2 "Strays"

[3houselions]

I say strays in quotes, because they're not really strays. They live at my elderly mother-in-law's...a massive old rural building that is in ruins she stays alone in, doesn't drive, has no help. If you saw it, inside or out, you would think it abandoned, if not for the animals and junk she has hoarded.

She gets animals, then can't care for them right. It's not worth fighting her on with the cramped livestock she keeps breeding, but a couple months ago she bought kittens from some awful man who kept them in a small crate in a garage, no attention whatsoever, for the purpose of mousing. They're separated to the upper floors, away from the other cat that my brother-in-law dumped there (which we took in and got spayed because nobody else was going to,) but then also separated from any chance at socialization.

We just learned that they're not neutered, and they're brother & sister. They're really just ditched upstairs in a rarely used, never heated part of the house - I went up there last week to see them. The female is skittish but wants love, and I think will be easy to get into a good home, but the boy hides, and I couldn't stay long enough to assess how he is. They must only be a few months old, but I'm horrified at the prospect of them having kittens in that place, my sweet husband agreed that we're going to, at the very least, get them spayed, and then brought back.

The earliest my vet can get them in though, is late May (and nowhere else nearby can get them in any earlier.) My dilemma is on separating them until then. I have 3 cats as it is, so I can't take in both at once and still keep them separated. I'm concerned if I take the female, the male will be without his only comfort/friend, and will become too shut down. I'm worried about stress-peeing in my home if we take the boy instead.

We're moving in summer and trying to start a family, and my husband has a lot of trauma from that house and these types of situations...he's the youngest of many, but always seems to be the one stuck with the problems. So it's really important I go about this in a way that causes the least amount of stress and problems in our own household.

Sorry for writing so much, I don't have anyone else to mull this over with, and it's such a sad situation. What would you do? :s

 

[kikilover]

I would call or email, whatever, a cat rescue asap. And don't take the response that you can pick up a trap and get the animals. This is not that type of situation. I call this animal abuse and must be stopped!! I feel for you honestly it's hard to even get dedicated cat caregivers to help. People need education and assistance instead of "here is a trap get them neutered". But seriously you need help and you may need to get aggressive. I understand your she is your mother-in-law but this can't continue to save her feelings. She is mentally disturbed and is abusing these animals by doing this. I shudder to say but if you have to call animal control - hopefully you can do so anonymously, you have to do it - unfortunately, the cats will likely be euthanized but I'm not sure if how they are being forced to live now is any better. Not sure your location but google cat rescue in your area. Anything, but please get these cats out of there. I'm sick and tired of people thinking they can do anything they want with poor defenseless animals. Seriously!

 

[3houselions]

I would call or email, whatever, a cat rescue asap...

Hey, thanks for taking the time to respond. I absolutely consider it animal abuse as well...and I didn't even get into the livestock situation. I've been considering an anonymous call to animal services, but my province isn't known to care much about animal welfare at all. As long as there's a food dish somewhere and no visible wounds they leave it alone...I've dealt with them before for a similar situation...I've worked with refuges and TNR groups in the past. Even if they were to do something, I'd be scared that the house would be condemned, and my MIL would be homeless. I couldn't do that to my husband...she's a nice woman, but has a lot of trauma and, as you say, is not too mentally sound.
I don't think I can take the kittens back there, to be honest. I'd rather find real homes. It's so painful to see that house.

 

[kikilover]

i'm so sorry to sound harsh. But your MIL is putting wildlife in danger and is abusive. Let's say those were children, I would hope you wouldn't hesitate. In one way you are protecting her by making sure everyone is safe. It sounds as though you aren't in the US. Regardless, make some phone calls, don't make assumptions, that is what I did. The first time I was on vacation and there was a stray momma and 2 kittens. I was clueless as to what to do. I called the local humane society - they asked me if I'd like to drive an hour to pick up a trap?? Eventually though, the man on the other end got that I was clueless and gave the number of a person who rescues cats. Well she came she told me about TNR. She was grateful because she said they had been trying to trap momma for a few years. Then she said something very interesting. They started the TNR 10 years ago and reduced the stray cat population by 90%. Unfortunately, from what I saw they now have a rodent problem.

Getting back to the matter at hand, the city near where I live has a phenomenal human society. Very proactive, no kill, etc. If you keep trying you will succeed. And you might be saving your MIL because she will be found out - these things always have a way of surfacing. I fear those poor creatures will be dead by then or hopelessly destroyed. Once that happens the result won't be pretty. It's like I tell my kids, it's hard to do the right thing sometimes. So much easier to walk away. Look at this way, your MIL is not only putting animals in danger, she is in danger as well. There is a lot at stake here.

Please someone else weigh in and back me up!!

 

[kikilover]

If you are in Canda (I really have no clue) but here's a place to try. If they are close by maybe they have a network in your area.
Contact Us
Address: 3380 No 6 Rd, Richmond, BC V6V 1P5 (located behind Phoenix Perennials)

Due to fluctuations in COVID rates in the province, we encourage visitors to wear masks. Thank you for your understanding and continued support!

Phone: 604-279-0024

PS. That creepy old man who brought her the kitties should be in jail. See how he likes that!!

 

[3houselions]

i'm so sorry to sound harsh. But your MIL is putting wildlife in danger...

No, I am not in the US. I've worked with refuges and TNR groups for years, and that means dealing with our local animal welfare resources. I've made the call on situations worse than this one - with animals that had been dead in cages for so long their bodies were moldy - and nothing was done because those that were alive were not in a severe enough state yet. It's unfortunate, but not everyone is as lucky as you to have good local services.

With hoarding and mental health issues, it is important to try to get them help before you go legal routes. If the animals are all seized, they are likely to just get more, and cut off those close to them, which makes more victims. I would prefer to handle the issue gently - while still removing the kittens - so that things do not simply get worse, for her and animals.
Any welfare services will be a last resort. The animals are not at risk of death or grievous bodily harm, and I will be taking in one of the kittens until they are both taken to the vet in late May, and I will talk to her first with compassion, in hopes of healing the situation instead of digging the wounds deeper.

Thank you for your responses, if you have any advice on my original question of which kitten would best benefit being taken out of the home until the neuter appointment for both of them, please feel free to share.

I will update as the situation progresses. I'm hoping to go over this weekend to deal with things.

 

[kikilover]

I'm so sorry, we do take what we have in the US for granted that I do not doubt. I can only say I wouldn't leave either of the kittens there alone. It will be very traumatic for them to be separated. Perhaps a friend or relative could help you? Are you planning to return the kittens to her when they are neutered/spayed?

Today on the news they reported someone was busted for hoarding 93 cats....

 

[3houselions]

I'm so sorry, we do take what we have in the US for granted that I do not doubt...

My province is known for being the puppy & kitten mill capitol of all of North America...if that doesn't tell you how toothless our animal welfare services are, I don't know what else to say. It's very sad. The vast majority of animal hoarder busts here are when the hoarders can be convinced to give them up.

I really don't want to separate them, but I'm not sure of their ages, they're certainly under 6 months, so a major concern was the brother impregnating the sister, which could happen at MIL's or mine...vets here are very difficult to convince to do abortions as well, which is why I leaned towards separating them asap. But I don't think I can bear traumatizing them more than they've already been...
I would rather not bring them back to her. That's a last resort, but may well be our only option...we don't have any pet-responsible friends or family that are willing to help. At the very least, there they will be fed and have a roof over their heads, and I can check up on them they few times a year we visit.
If I knew they could live well with my own cats, and my husband would be ok with it, then I would keep them in a heartbeat, but I don't think he would let me, so that's where I would have to get help from our local rescues, and foster them until they're adopted. Too much of this situation is a "wait and see..." maybe husband will get too attached to them to say goodbye...

 

[Margot Lane]

Kikilover is offering spot on advice here. Your husband is ”one of many?“ Could this be the time to lean on the others to lend a hand? Perhaps they have been counting on your husband too many times to be the responsible one, and they could step up?

 

[3houselions]

Kikilover is offering spot on advice here....

Yes, he's the youngest of a large family, and despite numerous situations - not confined to problems with the house or animals - where they are asked to step up, they won't. I won't get into it, but it's not just the animals that have been neglected and traumatized. Everyone prefers to ignore things and stay far away.

 

[3houselions]

I think I'll be convincing husband to take in the two at the same time and keep them together...hope for the best in that, with proper socialization and the friendly sister, the boy will open up and I'll be able to find them both a nice home.