My Cat's Passing

OrbSlap

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Hey there!
It's my first time writing here and unfortunately a very sad event pushed me to do it. I lost a cat 2 years ago post-operational,I never had an autopsy done on it,but I'm guessing it was because the operation was not done right ( it was sterilization ), and once I realized something was wrong, I tried calling 6 different vets, none of which answered, ( it was about 2 AM ) and it died in my arms. I would have called way more, but since I live in a very small town the amount of pet clinics is very limited. I somehow got over the loss and got 2 Persian kitties. Getting onto the main subject, this little article is meant to tell the story of Cinnamon. He was a beautiful grey and white Persian, who had his quirks. Cinnamon was always acting like a royal, which was contradictory to his always messy fur coat. There was something off about him from the very beginning. One day as I came back from school I saw him laying on the balcony in the middle of the rain, I got worried and we immediately rushed to the vet. ( It is worth mentioning that I switched vets as I could never trust my first one after the death of my first cat ever again ) They told us he was stressed, but otherwise healthy. He was breathing rapidly, but otherwise seemed OK. It was a state that lasted only 15 minutes. Fast forward 6 months it happened again. This time I knew it was not just stress, as I had been with him the whole day and there was nothing that could trigger it. I called my vet immediately. I hate to say this, but he sounded very annoyed that I was calling him ( It was 6 PM and I guess he was not working at the time ),he told me that since it's happening so rarely I shouldn't be worried at all and so on. Now I like to note that Cinnamon was a perfectly healthy cat so I just blindly agreed. About 4-5 months later, or 2 days ago, it happened again. I was very concerned and stayed with him until it went away. This time it seemed to take far longer, but eventually he calmed down. I got very worried and decided that I will take him to another vet. Well, it never happened. About 3 hours from the relief I felt that he was OK, Cinnamon passed away. He was laying calmly on my bed, made a weird sound, and just died. It was so sudden I could not believe it. Having recently lost my first cat ( I know 2 years is a long time, but does it matter when it's a loss of someone/thing you love? ) I wept and wept and the sadness seems to never end. I keep blaming myself for what happened to him. Maybe if I had taken him to another vet earlier he would be healthy and alive now, after all, he was just 1 and a half years old..
 

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Furballsmom

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It is so diffucult when a person doesn't know why.
In both situations, there very possibly is nothing anyone could have done for either of your babies.
I'm so sorry you have had to go through this and my heart is wrapped around yours. Both cats had you with them, and felt your love.
RIP darling Cinnamon, your pawprints are on a soul forever.
I hope you and your other kitty find a bit of peace and solace with each other :rbheart:
 

di and bob

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I am so very sorry you have had to go through not one, but two unexpected losses. In one so young, and having the 'breathless' symptoms you describe, it sounds like a heart condition that was undetected and most likely couldn't be, because it happened so periodically. When a little one dies so young from any condition, it is most likely congenital, and more than likely could mot be helped or cured. Most treatments only prolong life for a little while, and also the misery with it. You tried, and from your post I would still look around for a kind caring vet that is not 'put out' because you call at odd hours. Mine even scolded me for not calling in the middle of the night. After such losses it is certain you will be jumpy from here on out. They are out there, you have to have a good relationship with your vet, it is to them we all turn for advise and help. There are only two small animal vets in my town and I switched years ago and am so glad I did, good ones are out there. If you ever have something like this again, video it on your phone, then you have a record of what happened and can show it to the vet. Cats are masters at hiding illness and even the most experienced of us, even vets can miss something vital. I have had over fifty cats neutered/spayed in my lifetime and have never had major problems, but the number one thing to watch for in cats who are ill is for them to stop eating and drinking. So simple, and so easy to miss.
I believe those two little ones were meant to be in your life, because you gave them the attention, the love, the home they needed. We always enter into these relationships with the expectations of many years of carefree life ahead of us. When it doesn't happen it is a even bigger blow to your heart. You have no reason to blame yourself for what happened in either case. You had no intent, or expectation that some thing like this was going to happen. If a vet was not concerned, how could YOU have been? But you know your little ones best, if something seems wrong or off, insist on help. And you did in these cases, so please don't dwell on all those should haves, could haves that come with grief, they bring nothing but heartache and change nothing. There is no way to change what happened. But I know for certain those two loved you and would never want you to be so sad, because love wants only joy in the loved ones life. Just as you would want for them if you were the first to go. One day, in time, you will learn to adapt to the loss,we all get through this pain, not over it. The bond you have with them can never be taken from you, death cannot take what never dies. The new path they follow will forever parallel yours.
My heart breaks for what you are going through, life is fragile, and it will end for all of us in time. So open your heart to a new love, and know this love will sustain the love you already have in your heart, allow it to grow and spread. We will help you, we are here 24/7 and have many experienced people who can assist. We will share your grief and be there if you need us. Take care......RIP precious Cinnamon. You will never be forgotten and will always have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 

Antonio65

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I'm so sorry for your losses.
It doesn't matter if it was two days apart, two years or five years. The loss of a pet it's something that crushes us under a heavy weight, and there's no period of time that can help us to recover from that crushing.

Like di and bob di and bob has said, it sounds like Cinnamon had some heart issues.
Shame on the vet who didn't want to intervene even when he knew what was going on. He SHOULD have known what it was, he SHOULD have visited your kitty.

You didn't fail, because you tried.
The vet failed, he didn't even want to try!

Cinnamon knows how much you loved him and he's not mad at you, he might be mad at the vet, but probably cats aren't so mean to feel hate for someone, their pure hearts can only understand and know love.
And Cinnamon still loves you.

I'm deeply sorry!

RIP Cinnamon, you shone in this world for a short time, but your light will never dim.
 

solomonar

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It took decades to solve out the heart problems of humans, and only partially and is very costly and not guaranteed at all.

Then, how could a cat heart problem be solved?

Nobody can be blamed for not solving something that is impossible.

One century ago the survival rate in newborn (humans) was far lower than survival rate in home -cats today. The same for life expectancy.

Sometime the only thing we could to is to accept Faith.

Be strong and keep caring.
 

Mamanyt1953

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Rest you gentle, Cinnamon, dream you deep. You walk in someone's heart forever.

I am so sorry that this happened. I will tell you that the chances of this being from a botched neutering are so very slight as to be almost impossible. As others have stated, this was almost certainly some heart defect or disease, and it may have been impossible to find unless a vet saw him during an actual attack. I do wonder that your former vet was so dismissive of it. HOWEVER, that must be on his conscience, NOT on yours. What were you willing to do for your boy? Anything? That's what I thought, and that being the case, you bear no guilt. Only regret. And deep sorrow. And the pain of missing him. And that, my Dear Friend, is more than enough.

Love does not die. Ever. Love changes form and continues on, still Love. And Love abides. Cinnamon is with you still, and always will be. And I am willing to bet that he thoroughly enjoys the antics of your new little ones.
 
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