Moving... not sure I can take my feral. Not sure of best option

[sweetlilac]

I am having to move at last, due to medical reasons, I can't keep up my current place any more. (One maybe serious 2 operations needed.) Not sure where I/we are moving yet but considering a place an hour away in a community for 55+. Country setting. Here seem to be my choices:

1) Give Kitty Kat to my neighbor down the street, who has the mother, and would be happy to take her in. (Concerns: her place is not as coyote safe, and "Mama Cat" may or may not welcome a new addition, though there have been more cats there in the past so Mama is at least used to other cats, as is Kitty, who used to have siblings.) "Mama" is loosely indoor/outdoor socialized feral.

2) Take her with me though she cannot become an indoor cat. a) she sheds a lot, more than most cats; b) i cannot handle litter duty nor can my partner; c) not sure if the new terrain will be any safer or may be more dangerous. Our place was fenced in. I would consider the catio scenario but am renting for a bit first. IF this is where we move. She will probably be very upset in an outdoor catio (I imagine.)

3) Try to find someone in the 'hood who wants a sweet cat to care for. Does not catch mice, but is mellow and likes attention. However as a semi feral she is not used to most people.

4) Leave them and hope the new owners adopt her.

This is really hard for me. I took these kitties in as they were hungry and the previous owners of the house left them. I would not have taken this responsibility as I know I have limitations. That said, she is a true sweetheart, kind, gentle, intelligent etc. I have spoiled her to pieces so that might make it harder to give her away too. I don't think she'll do well with "culture shock". I just don't know what to do. Not even sure at this point where we will be moving (may get temporary housing for a few months then find a more permanent place.)

Would welcome thoughts. Thanks.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi
I would absolutely vote for number one, your other options are too unsure for her wellbeing and safety.

Additionally, I'm sure that neighbor would be willing to let you have her back when you're settled and can more deliberately consider a catio that will work for her .

 

[sweetlilac]

Thank you, I think you're right, and I appreciate having the chance to lay out the dilemma. I will probably post again after I talk to the realtor and before I talk to her, about how to navigate asking her to take Kitty and also discussing integrating Kitty (who's set in her ways, of course, she's a CAT!) with another household. I don't want her trying to come back here especially if i am not here anymore. A perilous fruitless journey. She will be a saint to take her.

 

[kittychick]

What a difficult situation - - - and I'm sorry you're facing it. I have a feeling we'll need to move in the next few years, and am dreading it (trying to prep well ahead - - but it's never easy or sure, is it?).

I too lean toward (as usual) the advice of Furballsmom . Altho (as I'm sure you're concerned about too) - the "non-coyote safe" is concerning (I'm guessing no fence?), as is her perhaps not being welcome (altho know that's always a possible issue - - would the "new" caretaker work with the situation to make it as safe as possible? If not - the possibility of finding a neighbor sounds like a good - if not simple - option. Chances are many neighbors know of her - probably more than you realize-, and you may be surprised as to who might be willing to step up and take over her care. If you're unsure of #1, I don't think a little checking around is a bad idea?

At least it sounds like you've got some good options (so few do!) - although we all always want PERFECT options, don't we? (I know I do. ). Let us know how it's going - - hopefully you'll be able to move with a clear heart (and even better - perhaps a chance to take her!).

 

[sweetlilac]

Thank you for your empathy, I am overwhelmed, not to mention that I love my KittyKat and will miss her dearly when I know I will want to talk to her as I do every day and comb her out and get her advice on things serious and trivial. She's so wise.

But I have to think of her best interest, as any loving parent would. I am not sure there are many coyote-sate places around here, and I could look around for another person... good thought! The neighbor's place is fenced in at night, open during the day, so Kitty may have the smarts to stay close to "home", assuming she doesn't try to come back to my house.

I think my neighbor is a known quantity who loves ferals, and I could not say that about anyone else. God forbid any harm should come to her just due to a clueless or mean person.

That said, even with my neighbor, I realize she will enter a new ecosystem ...even if "Sally" is open to easing Kitty Kat in. I can only hope. I think she sees Mama and Kitty as related (they sure look alike) and there was a spate of nearly identical gray cats around here for a while, so not far fetched. Quite strikingly similar. I think Sally would do her level best. And Kitty could be charming if only she would open up around others. But she has the smarts and experience of being chill around me and my partner and a few others. At least.

Best of luck with your quandary too. I've had mine for a while. Sad that these things often don't get resolved until something forces us!

 

[kittychick]

A quick note to show you how deeply I truly empathize with your situation....

Long story short (something I'm bad at but I'lll try!). Hubby and I have always been big shelter/foster kitty folk - - and upon finding a large colony of feral/semi-feral etc. kitties(how we didn't know they were there before - - got me!), became big TNR folk. After TNRing, 5 became permanent residents in our yard/garage (which now has heat-controlled kitty houses, etc. inside and out, etc.). After losing 2, we decided to try to bring the other 3 in permanently (after MUCH effort and loss of any semblance of wooden molding) - we're stilll trying, but it ain't easy. All come in largely for the winter, but less so in the warm months. Coyotes now come around - and we're trying harder. We're also facing the eventual aspect of needing a first floor master/bath. So - - -trying harder on the outdoor kitties. But realistically - - - we could face exactly what you're facing. And it's scary. Tears at night scary. So I get it. It makes me well up just reading your note.

But we're all here for each other - -to lean on - - to ask about options - - to help come up with things we haven't thought of.

We're here. We get it. We care. (and I cry! )

 

[sweetlilac]

Wow I read and re-read all the posts so far. What a difference this makes. It's so heartbreaking to have to walk away from a loved one, not knowing what will happen, after they have trusted you 100% and learned that people can be wonderful friends.

I guess many of us people have these issues too. Which is one reason it's so hard. I know what it's like to be abandoned. Luckily for me I made my way in the world at age 19 after I lost my family. I know the kindness of strangers. I still say thank you in my heart to those who found a place for me to stay when I was attending college (besides couch surfing.) It meant the world to me. I have been so happy to give back, to give Ms. Kitty a home, and now, .... well... if I could think of another way I would have.

I do take joy in seeing her smile and play and live a simple life of watching butterflies and spiders. Even if it ends soon. I am glad I have given this to her. We all do this (I am guessing) for our furry kitty pals. It's so special. I keep hoping she'll enjoy her next chapter, more friends, perhaps? More attention even if not "spoiled to pieces", more new things to learn and do.

Best of luck resolving your dilemma too. It is worthy of a few tears, I get it. Your kitties love you, that I would be certain.