- Joined
- Apr 24, 2022
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I am a long time lurker but infrequent poster. I lost my beloved Gizmo on October 24th, 2023. I've been wanting to post a memorial to her for a long time but just couldn't. She got sick suddenly on July 2nd 2023. That night she ate her bedtime meal but only half, which is odd, then went upstairs and immediately under the bed where she would stay until I had to force her out the next afternoon to take her to the emergency vet. She wasn't admitted then but she was two days later when the first treatment wasn't working.
She was diagnosed with pancreatitis and was hospitalized for 5 days. A tube feed was inserted as it had been many days by that point that she had not eaten anything. She took to it well and improved quickly and she was sent home with instructions which I followed to a tee. When a few months went by and she still wasn't regaining her appetite without the help of appetite stimulants and we were still mostly relying on tube feed I knew something else was going on. I made a post about balancing appetite stimulant and pain control medication on this site and received many helpful suggestions so thank you for that.
Overall she had 3 ultrasounds, pulled the tube feed out twice, and had many many checks and day long stays at the original emergency hospital that diagnosed her. Towards the last 2 weeks of her life she developed upper respiratory symptoms completely out of the blue. She was sneezy when she never was before and bad swelling developed behind one eye socket. Vets didn't know what was going on. She was treated in the standard way for upper respiratory symptoms...with antibiotics.
Then the neurological signs started. On October 24th she went downhill quickly and I had already decided she had had enough of vets. If she was going to pass she was going to do it at home, surrounded by people who loved her. My poor 12 year old girl lost her ability to walk and her ability to stand then eventually her ability to breathe. I was desperate to know how a case of pancreatitis could lead to this and in such a bizarre way. I didn't have to research long to figure out she developed dry form FIP. She had every single symptom, up to and including the eye socket swelling, the sneezing, extreme lethargy, sudden excessive drinking, then eventually the ataxia where she was very wobbly on her feet and had trouble walking.
I have felt extreme guilt since her death that maybe my efforts to get her better is what caused the FIP. Too many medications. Too many trips to the vet. I should have listened to her when she pulled the feeding tube out twice, even though I did give her a week to start eating enough on her own before I begrudgingly decided to have it re-inserted. I shouldn't have taken her back repeatedly for a 45 minute drive each way and day long stays and ultrasounds to have it re-inserted. The emergency hospital is loud and busy and she is blind and used to being in a quiet house. I can't imagine the stress she was under. I know FIP is extremely difficult to diagnose and is also pretty much always fatal (especially the dry neurological form) so I don't blame the vets. They were nothing but helpful through the whole process.
I have two other cats but Gizmo has been blind since birth and was extremely attached to me, as I was to her. I never imagined my life without her in it. My youngest cat Quey, who only knew her for 2 years, put her favorite toy in the spot on the carpet where she passed about a week afterwards and it is still there to this day. He and my other cat will play with the toy and rub on it (catnip toy) and fling it around but it always remains in that spot. I never feel her here, somehow, but I can't help but wonder if she doesn't come visit and he wants to make sure she can find her favorite toy.
I hope one day I can forgive myself for possibly trying too hard to get her better. She was such an up and down roller coaster for 3 months that as soon as I thought she had had enough she would rebound. I hope I never have to watch another cat die from FIP ever again. It is awful. I miss her every day and all the time. She was the sweetest gentlest softest baby and she didn't deserve any of it. I also need to forgive myself. Pictures attached of my beautiful girl in better times.
She was diagnosed with pancreatitis and was hospitalized for 5 days. A tube feed was inserted as it had been many days by that point that she had not eaten anything. She took to it well and improved quickly and she was sent home with instructions which I followed to a tee. When a few months went by and she still wasn't regaining her appetite without the help of appetite stimulants and we were still mostly relying on tube feed I knew something else was going on. I made a post about balancing appetite stimulant and pain control medication on this site and received many helpful suggestions so thank you for that.
Overall she had 3 ultrasounds, pulled the tube feed out twice, and had many many checks and day long stays at the original emergency hospital that diagnosed her. Towards the last 2 weeks of her life she developed upper respiratory symptoms completely out of the blue. She was sneezy when she never was before and bad swelling developed behind one eye socket. Vets didn't know what was going on. She was treated in the standard way for upper respiratory symptoms...with antibiotics.
Then the neurological signs started. On October 24th she went downhill quickly and I had already decided she had had enough of vets. If she was going to pass she was going to do it at home, surrounded by people who loved her. My poor 12 year old girl lost her ability to walk and her ability to stand then eventually her ability to breathe. I was desperate to know how a case of pancreatitis could lead to this and in such a bizarre way. I didn't have to research long to figure out she developed dry form FIP. She had every single symptom, up to and including the eye socket swelling, the sneezing, extreme lethargy, sudden excessive drinking, then eventually the ataxia where she was very wobbly on her feet and had trouble walking.
I have felt extreme guilt since her death that maybe my efforts to get her better is what caused the FIP. Too many medications. Too many trips to the vet. I should have listened to her when she pulled the feeding tube out twice, even though I did give her a week to start eating enough on her own before I begrudgingly decided to have it re-inserted. I shouldn't have taken her back repeatedly for a 45 minute drive each way and day long stays and ultrasounds to have it re-inserted. The emergency hospital is loud and busy and she is blind and used to being in a quiet house. I can't imagine the stress she was under. I know FIP is extremely difficult to diagnose and is also pretty much always fatal (especially the dry neurological form) so I don't blame the vets. They were nothing but helpful through the whole process.
I have two other cats but Gizmo has been blind since birth and was extremely attached to me, as I was to her. I never imagined my life without her in it. My youngest cat Quey, who only knew her for 2 years, put her favorite toy in the spot on the carpet where she passed about a week afterwards and it is still there to this day. He and my other cat will play with the toy and rub on it (catnip toy) and fling it around but it always remains in that spot. I never feel her here, somehow, but I can't help but wonder if she doesn't come visit and he wants to make sure she can find her favorite toy.
I hope one day I can forgive myself for possibly trying too hard to get her better. She was such an up and down roller coaster for 3 months that as soon as I thought she had had enough she would rebound. I hope I never have to watch another cat die from FIP ever again. It is awful. I miss her every day and all the time. She was the sweetest gentlest softest baby and she didn't deserve any of it. I also need to forgive myself. Pictures attached of my beautiful girl in better times.
