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- Aug 24, 2018
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Hi everyone,
I am new to this site. I am filled with grief and guilt. I had my baby, Winston, put to sleep yesterday and have so much guilt over it. He was 15 and had a lot of health issues in the past few years. He had a lot of close calls in the past year and always rallied. But, this past week, he went downhill really fast. A week ago he was eating well, sitting out on the porch, etc.. The vet had told me in June that he was "in hospice" now. I didn't want to bring him in there for more painful tests and blood draws when there was nothing more that could be done for him, he was not going to be cured. He had heart disease (congenital heart defect), diabetes, arthritis, pancreatitis (this is what kept coming back over the past year and I think was what took him). After Wednesday, he lay in the same place, on a little bed I made for him in the living room with his water bowl next to him. He didn't want to eat anymore and couldn't get up to go to the litter box. I prayed for him to go peacefully in his sleep. But, I contacted the vet to come out on Saturday (yesterday)in case. In the morning I had so many doubts still, he seemed so close to the end- I didn't want his last feeling to be another needle. When the vet got here she said that he was most likely in pain because he was swollen (tummy and paws) from fluid leaking inside him. I didn't want to let go, but, I feared that he would suffer for days - even hours would be too much to put him through and I was also afraid that he'd have a seizure or something worse. So, I made the decision, trying to do what I honestly thought was best for him. She had trouble getting the IV into his arm due to the fluid and then put it in his leg and he meowed and was gone. I am so in fear that he was scared at the end when I wanted so badly for him to go in peace and wonder if I should have let him go on his own, with no needles. Any insight or advice would really be appreciated. Winston was so special and precious to me and I tried every day to do what was best for him and wanted to keep him from pain at the end. I'm so torn up. Thank you.
I am new to this site. I am filled with grief and guilt. I had my baby, Winston, put to sleep yesterday and have so much guilt over it. He was 15 and had a lot of health issues in the past few years. He had a lot of close calls in the past year and always rallied. But, this past week, he went downhill really fast. A week ago he was eating well, sitting out on the porch, etc.. The vet had told me in June that he was "in hospice" now. I didn't want to bring him in there for more painful tests and blood draws when there was nothing more that could be done for him, he was not going to be cured. He had heart disease (congenital heart defect), diabetes, arthritis, pancreatitis (this is what kept coming back over the past year and I think was what took him). After Wednesday, he lay in the same place, on a little bed I made for him in the living room with his water bowl next to him. He didn't want to eat anymore and couldn't get up to go to the litter box. I prayed for him to go peacefully in his sleep. But, I contacted the vet to come out on Saturday (yesterday)in case. In the morning I had so many doubts still, he seemed so close to the end- I didn't want his last feeling to be another needle. When the vet got here she said that he was most likely in pain because he was swollen (tummy and paws) from fluid leaking inside him. I didn't want to let go, but, I feared that he would suffer for days - even hours would be too much to put him through and I was also afraid that he'd have a seizure or something worse. So, I made the decision, trying to do what I honestly thought was best for him. She had trouble getting the IV into his arm due to the fluid and then put it in his leg and he meowed and was gone. I am so in fear that he was scared at the end when I wanted so badly for him to go in peace and wonder if I should have let him go on his own, with no needles. Any insight or advice would really be appreciated. Winston was so special and precious to me and I tried every day to do what was best for him and wanted to keep him from pain at the end. I'm so torn up. Thank you.