i've never had an animal die. i don't know how this will affect the brother, Boy. will he be in any danger? please advise. is there anything i can do for him?
-
Too many ads? Join our community of cat lovers now to reduce ads by 90%! Click here to join for free!
kitty just died - 20 years old. how will her brother cope? what should i look out for?
- Thread starter 2ketzels
- Start Date
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2022
- Messages
- 5,277
- Purraise
- 16,474
I am so sorry your kitty passed away. Sending prayers for you and her and her brother.
Are they litter mates, and the same age (20 years)? Or, different litters and not the same age?
I have found through many losses of my own that younger animals tend to search for their lost friends much more than older animals do. And animals who pass away at home are rarely searched for by anyone, but those who pass at the vets office, sometimes they look because their friend just disappeared one day.
I'd keep his daily routine as normal as possible. Same feeding schedule, same time with you, keep things the same as much as you can. Make sure he's still eating and using his box as normal. I wouldn't be surprised if he went through a period of grief but sometimes they do seem to move on better than we do.
Take care
Are they litter mates, and the same age (20 years)? Or, different litters and not the same age?
I have found through many losses of my own that younger animals tend to search for their lost friends much more than older animals do. And animals who pass away at home are rarely searched for by anyone, but those who pass at the vets office, sometimes they look because their friend just disappeared one day.
I'd keep his daily routine as normal as possible. Same feeding schedule, same time with you, keep things the same as much as you can. Make sure he's still eating and using his box as normal. I wouldn't be surprised if he went through a period of grief but sometimes they do seem to move on better than we do.
Take care
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #3
they are brother & sister as far as i know. THANK YOU for your advice!!!
i felt the same way: keep her at home to die, gradually - the Vet had told me she wasn't in any pain so i felt good about just keeping her here in familiar surroundings. it's a relief to know that you think that Boy will be fine...altho' he, too, is 'old', the same age. he is The Rascal & she was the Saint, the sweet one.
THANKS!!
,
i felt the same way: keep her at home to die, gradually - the Vet had told me she wasn't in any pain so i felt good about just keeping her here in familiar surroundings. it's a relief to know that you think that Boy will be fine...altho' he, too, is 'old', the same age. he is The Rascal & she was the Saint, the sweet one.
THANKS!!
,
20 years old is really a huge age to get to!
I am so sorry for your loss.
Was her brother able to see her body after she'd died? It might be uncomfortable to talk about, but if a cat dies at home it can help if their companions can see the body, they do understand that. If one dies at the vet it can be more difficult for their companions who might not understand what has happened if they were just taken away and never seen again. It also might not be possible, completely understand that.
My Sonic died at the vet surgery when we had him put down
and that was hard on his best friend Jakey (and he never saw the body due to it not being practical) - who did adjust after a while but searched for his friend at first and cried/wailed a lot. They do tend to adjust though, but like with human grief it can take a while, I would say my Jakey was in grief for 3 or 4 months before starting to perk up a bit (however in the time since Sonic has died he has lost a load of weight and been diagnosed with CKD and Chronic Pancreatitis, I do wholeheartedly believe that the stress of Sonic dying has affected his health and if not caused these conditions, might have brought to the fore some background health issues that were just brewing and the stress made him a bit weaker than he might have been, I don't know whether that makes sense).
Many condolences on your loss and I hope her brother is OK.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Was her brother able to see her body after she'd died? It might be uncomfortable to talk about, but if a cat dies at home it can help if their companions can see the body, they do understand that. If one dies at the vet it can be more difficult for their companions who might not understand what has happened if they were just taken away and never seen again. It also might not be possible, completely understand that.
My Sonic died at the vet surgery when we had him put down
and that was hard on his best friend Jakey (and he never saw the body due to it not being practical) - who did adjust after a while but searched for his friend at first and cried/wailed a lot. They do tend to adjust though, but like with human grief it can take a while, I would say my Jakey was in grief for 3 or 4 months before starting to perk up a bit (however in the time since Sonic has died he has lost a load of weight and been diagnosed with CKD and Chronic Pancreatitis, I do wholeheartedly believe that the stress of Sonic dying has affected his health and if not caused these conditions, might have brought to the fore some background health issues that were just brewing and the stress made him a bit weaker than he might have been, I don't know whether that makes sense).Many condolences on your loss and I hope her brother is OK.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2022
- Messages
- 5,277
- Purraise
- 16,474
You're so welcome
If he's the rascally one, he'll probably be fine after a few days. It seems like the ones who are a little more goofy tend to bounce back better than the Saintly sensitive ones.
If he seems off it's good to let your vet know that he's not well so you can make an appointment for him, but with some TLC he should be good
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2022
- Messages
- 5,277
- Purraise
- 16,474
It makes perfect sense to me. I lost the older of a bonded pair once. When the older one died, the younger one did search for his companion for months. Months later, he got sick. I think his entire vital force took a hit when his friend disappeared (like your Sonic, he passed away at the vets office and I don't think he ever really understood what happened to his "big brother".) He managed to get well after that but it took some time and TLC.20 years old is really a huge age to get to!
I am so sorry for your loss.
Was her brother able to see her body after she'd died? It might be uncomfortable to talk about, but if a cat dies at home it can help if their companions can see the body, they do understand that. If one dies at the vet it can be more difficult for their companions who might not understand what has happened if they were just taken away and never seen again. It also might not be possible, completely understand that.
My Sonic died at the vet surgery when we had him put down
Many condolences on your loss and I hope her brother is OK.
Hello, adding to the comments above, to help him with the transition try a purr toy or heartbeat toy, and also Spotify and other sources have harp music for cats 
Cats view death as very natural, they just know they are lonely and want their companion back. It takes at least a few weeks for them to adjust, but they are SUCH creatures of habit they look for much longer than that. I pray you to know that your precious Boy is at the end of his life too, and will need a lot of extra attention and good treats to make him feel better. Even as you go through the grieving process. For your little one to die at home is what she wanted most, she is at peace because she will always have your love in her heart.
To have two cats reach such a great age is a testament to your care and love. The average age for a cat to reach the end of its life is 15-16, so your two little ones reached a major milestone!
My heart goes out to you. I pray Boy will give you the comfort you need in your time of mourning, he needs you too. Watch for him withdrawing, just keep his routine as normal as possible. His sister will wait for him at the Bridge, and they will have a glorious reunion. Then they both will wait for you. May you be blessed for giving them both such a long, happy life!
RIP sweet girl. You will be dearly missed, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again.
To have two cats reach such a great age is a testament to your care and love. The average age for a cat to reach the end of its life is 15-16, so your two little ones reached a major milestone!
My heart goes out to you. I pray Boy will give you the comfort you need in your time of mourning, he needs you too. Watch for him withdrawing, just keep his routine as normal as possible. His sister will wait for him at the Bridge, and they will have a glorious reunion. Then they both will wait for you. May you be blessed for giving them both such a long, happy life!
RIP sweet girl. You will be dearly missed, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again.
Cats grieve. My cat grieved for a year after his 13 year old little brother died. The first 3 months were the hardest,
My advice?
1) If you can let your cat see/smell the one that died (cats know what death is.) However cats wandering off to hide & die is normal. So the sick cat just not coming back works with what happens in nature.
2) talk to your cat. I know it sounds weird but I think they understand more than we know.
3) keep talking to your cat. “I know, I miss them so much to!”
Lastly just plain old TLC.
My advice?
1) If you can let your cat see/smell the one that died (cats know what death is.) However cats wandering off to hide & die is normal. So the sick cat just not coming back works with what happens in nature.
2) talk to your cat. I know it sounds weird but I think they understand more than we know.
3) keep talking to your cat. “I know, I miss them so much to!”
Lastly just plain old TLC.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #11
THANK YOU so much for your kind reply. i'm not sure if Boy saw Luna at the foot of the stairs or not. i had decided to do everything 'naturally' since the Vet had said she wasn't in pain. she was incredibly courteous in her dying...just like the kitty she has always been...no mess for me to clean. so far, Boy has been eating; i pet him a lot & now let him into the bedroom; he doesn't seem anxious & today he was purring so...i guess he's ok. now i'm on the hunt for 2 kitties & wondering how Boy will react; it's going to take time because the prices here are outrageous!! wish me luck and...thank you again for writing!!20 years old is really a huge age to get to!
I am so sorry for your loss.
Was her brother able to see her body after she'd died? It might be uncomfortable to talk about, but if a cat dies at home it can help if their companions can see the body, they do understand that. If one dies at the vet it can be more difficult for their companions who might not understand what has happened if they were just taken away and never seen again. It also might not be possible, completely understand that.
My Sonic died at the vet surgery when we had him put down
Many condolences on your loss and I hope her brother is OK.
Rest you gentle, Luna, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever!
Give your boy a bit of time before bringing kittens home, and make sure he has a place to retreat to, so that he can escape all that energy! He's the equivalent of an 84-year-old man now, and it would be like asking a man that age to babysit a pair of 7-year-olds! He's gonna need a quiet place to retreat to.
It's good that he's eating and purring. Just give him lots of love.
Give your boy a bit of time before bringing kittens home, and make sure he has a place to retreat to, so that he can escape all that energy! He's the equivalent of an 84-year-old man now, and it would be like asking a man that age to babysit a pair of 7-year-olds! He's gonna need a quiet place to retreat to.
It's good that he's eating and purring. Just give him lots of love.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #13
thank you for your advice.
i'm treating Boy well (when have i not?) & i might have found a new companion - 3 years old, shy, like Luna. by the way, i did a check on cat years versus human years but the calculator i found said that 20 year old cats are 96!! wow!! [hope i live that long]
Yes, you have given them a long, loved life!
