It's been awhile since I came on here...

[faerian]

I guess I just need to talk to somebody about this other than my mother, who is really not helping me cope with this. I'm going off to college in the fall (yay!), but in just a couple of days I'm going into the hospital for minor surgery (sorry if I misspelled that). I was born with a cleft lip, and now I'm getting the last repair made that should proabably should have been done years ago. There's no better way to say, other than I'm getting some fat sucked out of my butt and injected into my lip to puff out the rest of the cleft. However, I have to go into the hospital to get this done and go under anesthesia. Now, I get panic attacks just by having blood drawn-I am NOT good with needles. I've gotten better the last couple of years, but I'm still deathly afraid of the OR. My mom isn't exactly helping either, though she's trying. She keeps saying I need it, becuase she notices it when I laugh. But I never wanted to have this done, it was her idea in the first place. She scheduled the operation without heeding my opinion, and I just feel like it's my own body, but I can't find a way to tell her, and I think it's way too late now. I had 2 boyfriends who loved me for who I am, not what my lip looked like while I laugh.

 

[katkisses]

Explain all of this to your mom, tell her that you are happy with who you are. If she still pushes the issue tell her that you feel that she is being selfish. You are old enough to make your own decision, and if you deicde later on that you want the surgery then that is still an option. It is your body and your choice though.

 

[jessy]

Hey it's your face, you live with it every day, if you are happy with it and the thought of surgery scares you then don't do it :hug:

Your Mum probably has what she believes to be your best interests at heart, Idoubt she's deliberately being mean, it's just one of those "mum's think they know best" situations.

 

[faerian]

Thanks guys. I think, since I have to call the hospital today to get the time I need to go in, I'll bring the subject up before I call. Since the insurance doesn't need to approve day surgery (I'd be in prep longer than the OR), she might be willing to let me wait until I've had a chance to think about this-away from her pressure to do everything we can to "fix it". The lip isn't causing any health problems, it's actually purely cosmetic. And my doctor totally understands that I need to make my own decisions. Wish me luck!

 

[jenwales]

Good luck!

It's your face and if you are happy with yourself you have every right to decide not to have the procedure. Don't postpone just out of fear, however.

 

[faerian]

Ok well, I talked to my mom about-more like cried while she tried to explain to me what I already know. My parents both understand that I'm just not ready for this-not yet, and my doctor actually encouraged my decision. we're going to talk about it tonight and see what happens from there. I just didn't want people making that decision for me, becuase I've lived with this all my life, and if I never get it corrected it really won't bother me that much. Ever since I can remember there has only been 2 or 3 people who came and asked me personally about it. And I'm more than happy to tell them-I was born with it. Aside from that, people are usually surprised when I point it out, saying that they never really noticed it or just never paid any attention to it oncce they get to know me.

 

[katkisses]

Good luck hun!

 

[vampcow]

Good for you to stand up for what you want!

and having the self confidence to accept and love who you are. That is a wonderful thing and donnt let ANYONE try and take that away from you.

As for backing out...when you go into the hospital...you can back out at anytime up to when they put you under. You can sit in the OR and tell them no. Also YOU will have to sign a consent form to ALLOW them to do the procedure (I have had many trust me)

I understand where your mom is coming from...she is prob. MORE upset with herself that you have a cleft lip. Like she is responsible for you having one that it is her fault and she wants you to "be normal" My mom was/is the same way...I was born with a birth defect in my legs. A few years ago I had to have my bones surgically corrected a procedure that SHOULD have been done when I was a kid. I didn't want to do it but had to since my bones were being destroyed.. My mom however was a total wreck...she blames herself still whenever I have to go in for more work because she feels personally responsible. She still feels like it is her fault. I tell her its not it just nature. But I think..that your mom loves you VERY much and prehaps you need to tell her that it is YOUR body and YOUR decision but also thank her for her concern about your well being. I think she is just trying to do what she thinks is best for you like most mothers.

Good luck!!

if you need help or advice please PM me I have been in your place before.