Iittle one went on her way today

[BelmontCarr]

My first cat went over to the bridge today.

She had been with me 15 years and was nearly 20. She was my buddy.

She was a terrified cat when I got her and had been passed over by others at the shelter.

We made a life together, I helped her trust and she helped me too. We had an unbreakable bond that meant she came first, I was there to look after her as others hadn't before.

Life changed as it does, we lived in different places, we both got a bit older but the bond just got stronger. She was a lap cat and had such a character, never failing to make me smile and laugh. You could speak to her and she would respond by miaowing. I've never known such a vocal cat.

She got older and became more frail, we adapted our ways, she liked to snooze more, she couldn't jump to the bed so easily, she still loved a comfy warm spot to lie.
Still, after so long together I didn't think she would go. But last week she had some sort of episode that meant two of her legs stopped working properly. She was struggling, it wasn't improving, vet thought there was unseen things going on that caused it. Her behaviour and her demeanour had changed, she was tired of it. We decided it was time for her to move on before she got more ill.

So today we went to the vets and she went quietly. The vet gave her a sedative first, while it seemed peaceful and as good as it could be I am worried she was scared but the sedatives meant she couldn't cry or tell us. She tried to get up and jump off the table and started to drool. I shielded her and reassured her til she lay. Would she have known what she was doing, was it fear or did she just feel woozy? I hope she was OK.

I miss her already, I know it was time but I feel the sadness is yet to hit me properly. I'm worried the memories will fade. I'm sad I can never cuddle her again.

 

[Furballsmom]

Thank you for a wonderful story of life and love, and honoring her. You did the very hardest thing to do, with compassion and unselfishness, for her.

RIP sweetheart

 

[Mighty Orange]

Your love for her is evident in what you said. Cats tend to grab the strings to your heart. May she rest in peace. She will be waiting for you at the bridge.

 

[denice]

Yes, you will be sad, and you will grieve but you won't forget her. You did what was best for her. You were with her until the end, she wasn't scared.

 

[catsknowme]

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. Sometimes sedation causes nausea & in some cases, a brief anxiety. Years ago, my disabled daughter had a similar response to a sedative at the dentist; after the retching, she became combative & hollered and struggled - we had to restrain her to get her teeth cleaned. You did the right thing in giving your precious one the gift of a peaceful passing. She was your soul-kitty and tonight the Night Sky Trail (aka Milky Way) is one star brighter as she crosses the Bridge.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Sweet Girl, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Here is the thing you need to know. Cats do not fear death. They accept it simply as "what comes next." They do not worry about it, they don't fret over it. They simply...get on with it. Now, she may have been a bit anxious about being at the vet's office if she normally was, but not dying. That did not come into it. Perhaps her attempt to get off the table was nothing more than her little body trying to follow her Spirit as it took its first steps between This Adventure and her Next Great Adventure, not quite understanding that that body was no longer needed. And now, from her new home in That Place Where All Things Are Known, she blesses you for every moment of her life, when she lived, breathed and had her being wrapped in your love. She blesses you, and she send her love, translated and purified into Love, back to walk with you down through all your days. Because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides. How can you ever forget, when her Love walks beside you?

 

[BelmontCarr]

I just want to say thank you to all of you for taking time to reply. Your words are helping and they're so kind.
It's nice to know they don't fear death, and that she's gone on to the next place, I hope I'll get a sign sometime so I know she's settled. I know we don't all believe in next places but it gives me hope.
Today I'm looking at pictures of her smiling at how happy she was with the simplest of things, a nice blanket and some sun. I walk to the couch and expect to have to move her to make space for me to sit but she's not there.
I need to make a call and arrange the cremation and so on. I can't face it just yet.

 

[di and bob]

With the sedative, she more than likely didn't even know what she was doing. Your presence was the best thing for her. Your love calmed her. It truly sounds like she was ready. She was at the end of her life, and the future held existing, not truly living.
Believe me, your memories will never fade. It does help to get a small journal and write down your memories and thoughts, it's nice to look back many years from now and relive those memories more clearly. Time has a way of dulling the sharp pain of grief, and also the sharp memories we have.
After so many years, the bond of love between you is incredibly strong. It is forged of love and NOTHING can ever take it from you because it is spiritual, so eternal. She will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers. Though she now follows a new path, it will always parallel your own.
Try not to dwell on her end, or the sadness that comes with it. Try to celebrate all that she gave you, the good memories,m there are so many more of those. Try to go forward into life and seek its beauty and joys. just as you would have wanted for her to go forward if YOU were the first to go. She wants no less because that is love.
I hope eventually you will take comfort in your memories, and the knowledge you spared her so much pain. It takes a long time to mend a broken heart, but time will bring a feeling of peace and she will send you the strength to get through this. Because there is nothing stronger than love. Take care, and know we are here anytime you need us. We are a testament to surviving after the agonies of death. It takes a long time, one day at a time........RIP precious little one. you will never be forgotten, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[betsygee]

Oh, your sweet kitty. It's clear how much you loved each other. It's so hard to lose them when you've spent so much of your lives together. My heart goes out to you. What was her name?

 

[BelmontCarr]

You're all so kind.

I feel uncertain and unsettled, like I'm not sure what to do. The house is quiet. It's very strange.

Her name was Tabitha.

 

[di and bob]

Oh sweet Tabitha, Help your loved one through this.....Rip precious angel.....