I feel extreme guilt over the death of my cat.

[LittleMeowzebub]

My cat was hit by a car and passed away a few days ago.

he was a street cat at first, a rescue basically. It took me over a week to get him to even feel comfortable with being close to me, after that he was in my front yard every single day.

he was the sweetest, kindest, most loving cat I had ever interacted with, I adore/adored him.
He would raise his upper body to meet my hand, If I meow’d he would meow back, If he meow’d I would meow and it would continue, He would look up into my eyes and I could feel the love we both shared for one another after several weeks.

I started letting him inside as he would basically try to race me into my own home, I would let him stay in my bathroom where he eventually would learn to run into when it came time to eat and sleep at night time, Though he absolutely hated staying in there,He would meow constantly and I would end up letting him out, some nights he didn’t mind though.

He genuinely didn’t like to be inside very much from what I had seen or maybe he just didn’t like my bathroom, But on the day it had happened I had thought to bring him inside, My room was free for once as my dog (blind and diabetic) was at the vet, I thought to bring him in my room even but decided he’ll be okay outside and I wanted to nap and wasn’t sure how he’d take being in my room, It cost him his life.
If I had just taken him into my room or even the bathroom like I had thought to do, he would still be here, He was the most special cat, He is the most special cat to me and it’s now my fault he isn’t here, I miss him so much I wasn’t able to eat the first 3 days, I still cry regularly and am unable to get proper sleep.

 

[neely]

I'm sorry your first post on TCS is a sad one. However, thank you for befriending this kitty and sharing your space with him. He genuinely knew you were a kind and caring person. Please don't blame yourself as you had no way of knowing what might happen. Did you name him? He is at the Rainbow Bridge now and not suffering. It will take time to recover from your grief but your memories of him will be with you forever. RIP sweet boy.

 

[LittleMeowzebub]

I had so many names for him, His “official” name was Meowzebub but I mostly called him little meow, As we would exchange meow’s every time we saw one another, I miss holding him, rocking him, feeling him use his whole weight to rub his face and body against my shins, I miss looking into his eyes and him initiating it (Never have I met a cat that enjoyed eye contact) I miss how I would call him and he would come home, I miss him trying to get in my car to stop me leaving or to come with me, I just wish I did bring him in, I hate myself for not protecting him better. From a young age I had always wanted a cat and I had a few, Though he was everything I had ever dreamt of, It really felt like fate meeting him and befriending him, I let him down while he never ever let me down, He was always there for our 5-6 months of friendship, Every single day without fail.

Thank You so much for your response and kind words, They mean so much. Thank you for taking the time to even read my post let alone try to provide me some comfort, I really can’t express the appreciation I feel, Please stay safe and well, Much love <3

 

[neely]

Thank You so much for your response and kind words, They mean so much. Thank you for taking the time to even read my post let alone try to provide me some comfort, I really can’t express the appreciation I feel,

TCS is a very supportive and compassionate group of members. I hope you will continue to be one of them since your fondness of cats shines through. Many of us have been in the same or similar situation as you and understand what you're going through. Please feel free to post whenever you feel the urge and also check some of the other forums on the site.

 

[FeebysOwner]

I want you to know from others how much we know (and feel) your grief. Nothing can change what has happened - as we all too well know from many different experiences/circumstances. Little Meow may be gone from this earth, but he is not gone from your heart - nor are you from his. That is an everlasting bond that cannot ever be denied.

 

[LittleMeowzebub]

I'm sorry your first post on TCS is a sad one. However, thank you for befriending this kitty and sharing your space with him. He genuinely knew you were a kind and caring person. Please don't blame yourself as you had no way of knowing what might happen. Did you name him? He is at the Rainbow Bridge now and not suffering. It will take time to recover from your grief but your memories of him will be with you forever. RIP sweet boy.

I want you to know from others how much we know (and feel) your grief. Nothing can change what has happened - as we all too well know from many different experiences/circumstances. Little Meow may be gone from this earth, but he is not gone from your heart - nor are you from his. That is an everlasting bond that cannot ever be denied.

It does help to know others have been through this or similar, Not to know that others have suffered and lost loved ones but to know they’ve been able to someday eventually feel okay again after something so horrible. You’re right, He will always have a place in my heart and while he was only in my life for a short part of it, I was in his for the most recent and memorable of his, I’m blessed to have had that experience, Thank you so much, Much love, Stay safe and take care <3

 

[LittleMeowzebub]

TCS is a very supportive and compassionate group of members. I hope you will continue to be one of them since your fondness of cats shines through. Many of us have been in the same or similar situation as you and understand what you're going through. Please feel free to post whenever you feel the urge and also check some of the other forums on the site.

I see that from just these few replies, I’m so grateful to have found this site already, You and the other commenter have made my day a lot less darker and a little easier to bare, I’m grateful to you both, I hope I can return the kindness I’ve been shown while I’m here

 

[FeebysOwner]

The kindness has already been returned through your loving heart to Little Meow.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Little Meow, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

What Little Meow knew of home, of love, of hearth, he knew from you. You cared for him, you loved him. You did the best you could for him under the circumstances. Now, from his new home in That Place Where All Things Are Known, Meow blesses you for your love, and he sends his love, translated and purified into Love, to walk beside you down through all your days. Because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides.

 

[di and bob]

As one who has buried SO many little ones, strays, and ferals around my place that were just trying to survive, and also my own little ones who were so dear to me and a part of my soul, I can definitely relate to your pain. Some cats just WILL NOT accept being kept inside, and their stubbornness will eventually cost them their lives, no matter how street savvy you think they are.
Your little one was living the life he wanted, you gave him what he wanted most in this life, your love and someone for him to love back. It was a tragic accident. you had no way at all to predict something like this would happen, and now there is no way to change it. Please do not blame yourself, not one of us is perfect. Try to remember how happy he was, how much happiness he gave you. That is what he wants to leave behind as his legacy. Not tears and sorrow. He wants you to go forward into your future and live it as you would want for him if you were the first to go. because he loves you just as much.
Give your heart plenty of time to heal, and it does take a long time to mend a broken heart. Love is spiritual, so eternal, know he will always be as close s your thoughts and prayers, his new journey will always parallel your own. He gave you a precious gift to keep and share in his memory, a cat's love......RIP precious Little Meow. You will never be forgotten, you will have a secure place in a loving heart for eternity. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!