How Would You React To This?

MonaLyssa33 · Nov 11, 2018

I was at an event with my sister today and our parents were visiting my brother-in-law and my nieces while we were away. My nieces (ages 2 years and 3 months) are the first grandchildren for my parents and they both seem to have taken being a grandparent to mean that the grandkids can essentially do no wrong even if it goes against what my sister and brother-in-law want. I'm honestly annoyed for my sister because of our parents. My mom encourages my older niece to be wild. Today it was throwing toys, other times it has been screaming for no reason, etc. I totally get that grandparents spoil their grandkids, but I associate that with receiving gifts or having foods they normally don't have, not encouraging bad behavior and going against the wishes of the parents (like also not putting my niece down for a nap). I'm certain my parents will consider our reactions to be over the top, but I don't think my sister and brother-in-law are wrong to be angry about this because I too think it is maddening. What do you guys think?

kittyluv387 · Nov 11, 2018

Totally understandable that your siater and bil are getting frustrated about this. Even if you get older and mature many parents STILL wont listen to you. It's as if they will always know better since they're your parents. Have they tried the straight forward and clear communication approach? Sounds like boundaries need to be set.

foxxycat · Nov 12, 2018

I agree. The sister will have to sit down and have the talk. Some people won't because they don't want to cause trouble. So she will either talk with them about acceptable and unacceptable behavior. It may take a few weeks for her to get up the nerve. Some people don't like to cause strife but she should speak up otherwise resentment builds up.

JamesCalifornia · Nov 12, 2018

~ It's good that your sister and brother-in-law are adult enough to be proper parents. Mom & Dad sound like they are living their second childhood with the grandkids ! :hugs:

Chuck E Cheese or the playground might be a good place for them to visit and "play" , but the improper behavior has to be stopped ASAP .
Undisciplined kids often become troublesome adults.

mightyboosh · Nov 12, 2018

I have seven grand kids and I'm guilty of indulging them too much sometimes but encouraging wild behaviour is a definite no no.

NY cat man · Nov 12, 2018

JamesCalifornia said:
~ It's good that your sister and brother-in-law are adult enough to be proper parents. Mom & Dad sound like they are living their second childhood with the grandkids !
Chuck E Cheese or the playground might be a good place for them to visit and "play" , but the improper behavior has to be stopped ASAP .
Undisciplined kids often become troublesome adults.

Have you seen some of the ADULT behavior at a Chuck E. Cheese lately? Here in WNY, we have had literal brawls break out, over who knows what reason. Not such a good example for the little crumb-crunchers.

Willowy · Nov 12, 2018

Kids know that different people will have different rules for them. They adapt. I don't think that kind of situation will turn the kids into horrible adults or anything like that. That said, it's up to your sister and BIL to set their boundaries. Can they be OK with the kids being allowed to be more wild while with the grandparents? Or is that just something they can't tolerate at all? That's up to them.