How to know when its time to let a cat go

[Hazel06]

One of our cats, Muffin, has had cancer on her leg for about 8 months now.
We took her to the vet when we first noticed it, and were told they could either operate on it, or we could just offer supportive care. The operation would have likely been to remove her whole leg, with a high chance of it reoccurring.
We felt that it would be kinder to her not to put her though an operation, and just let her live the rest of her life with us until it got to the point where we would put her put to sleep.
So now, the lump has grown a far bit, and she does have rather a limp on that leg. But she can still do everything she did before, jumping up on chairs, getting into the bath to drink from her favorite tap, purring on my lap, eating and playing.
We took her to the vet a couple of weeks ago to get some pain medication for her (she doesn't seem to need it most of the time, just on her bad days) and the fairly young vet was shocked at the size of the lump, and thought we should put her down immediately.
I don't think she is ready to let go yet, like I said she is still appearing to enjoy life as much as ever, just having to rest a bit more, and take things a little easier.
But I feel guilty incase the vet is right, and we are being cruel to her.
I would appreciate some opinions on this, and quite understand that none of you are vets, or even if you are would not want to give advise over the internet, I just want some general thoughts on what you would do in this situation.

 

[di and bob]

No, as long as she is not hiding and is enjoying life, just let her go on. Keep the pain medicine handy if she does start refusing to eat and starts hiding, a very strong sign of pain. Eating, drinking, and using the litterbox is all good signs of happiness, as well as the jumping, that is great!
That vet is as you said too young and too inexperienced to judge how you are doing. He does not know your cat as you do and never will. Try to get a more experienced one in the future. I had a cat that was dying of bowel cancer, lived for two years after he started losing weight and started withdrawing. But he got on our laps every evening and met me every morning, so we kept going until he couldn't.
When the time comes, give her a larger dose of pain meds to keep her comfortable. It helps both of you.......

 

[Hazel06]

No, as long as she is not hiding and is enjoying life, just let her go on. Keep the pain medicine handy if she does start refusing to eat and starts hiding, a very strong sign of pain. Eating, drinking, and using the litterbox is all good signs of happiness, as well as the jumping, that is great!
That vet is as you said too young and too inexperienced to judge how you are doing. He does not know your cat as you do and never will. Try to get a more experienced one in the future. I had a cat that was dying of bowel cancer, lived for two years after he started losing weight and started withdrawing. But he got on our laps every evening and met me every morning, so we kept going until he couldn't.
When the time comes, give her a larger dose of pain meds to keep her comfortable. It helps both of you.......

Thank you for the reply
Its a bit hard to get a regular vet, and the practise we go to are very busy in the moment, so its kind of a 'take who you get'. I did prefer the first vet that saw her, so we will try and get her next time.
She (Muffin I mean) doesn't look great, quite skinny, but she is so cheerful most of the time! I really just want what is best for her.
Drinking has always been one of her greatest pleasures, she will take ages over it, sort of 'chewing' on it, with a look of bliss on her face!

 

[di and bob]

Keep those sweet memories.....she sounds like a very special little girl......

 

[Kris107]

I think, as with humans, it's good to think about things in advance. Before something emergent/intense/emotional happens, try to think about what your decisions might be. I used the 5 P's as a guide - is she peeing, pooping, playing, purring, preening? I know some of those are tricky - cats can purr even when they're in pain or scared. And some cats aren't that playful. But just try to evaluate whether she's still enjoying life and whether her basic bodily functions still work. Cats hide a lot of pain, so I think withdrawing or new odd behaviors is definitely something to watch for. It's hard because every cat is different. I've had cats who at some point give me a sign. Regardless... the final decision is made out of love, and due to her diagnosis, you know you'll be sparing her a lot of pain and suffering. Try not to second guess yourself or feel guilt. It is one of the hardest, saddest decisions you may ever make, but it is also for a very good reason. Also, ignore that vet. It's a very personal decision. Savor your time with your girl!

 

[StephMo]

I'm so sorry to read about what you're going through with Muffin.. The responsibility and heaviness of this decision is agonizing.

My vet had sage advice for me last year when I was managing a sudden onset and rapidly degenerative condition my kitty developed. He stayed sick for 6 weeks before I made the call, but I deliberated for about 3 weeks while he was on prescriptions to hold his condition as steady as possible. Her paraphrased advice was, "I can't tell you when to do this, but don't wait until their worst day, or when they're having one of their 'bad days' every single day... if it's inevitable that it's going to need to be done, do it when they're still having some of their good days..."

I called my vet late on a Friday to schedule a Monday 'last day'. Then I spent the weekend treating him like a little king, and soaking up whatever affection he could still manage to show. The day he went to rainbow bridge happened to fall on a day that wasn't one of his worst ones. (He was probably at a ratio of about 2 'good days' to 5 'not good days' when I made the call.) His last morning was a decent one, and as such - my last memory of him wasn't seeing him unable to walk or show any affection. The degenerative nature of what he was dealing with meant that every week his 'good day ratio' got a little worse. So thinking of it that way may help you find your inner voice and 'feel' this ratio as it pertains to Muffin and her quality of life. Tune into that voice to help you with the timing.... In the meantime, spend as much time with her as you can and know that this site is a huge support network.

 

[Kris107]

Her paraphrased advice was, "I can't tell you when to do this, but don't wait until their worst day, or when they're having one of their 'bad days' every single day... if it's inevitable that it's going to need to be done, do it when they're still having some of their good days..."

I called my vet late on a Friday to schedule a Monday 'last day'. Then I spent the weekend treating him like a little king, and soaking up whatever affection he could still manage to show. The day he went to rainbow bridge happened to fall on a day that wasn't one of his worst ones. (He was probably at a ratio of about 2 'good days' to 5 'not good days' when I made the call.) His last morning was a decent one, and as such - my last memory of him wasn't seeing him unable to walk or show any affection. The degenerative nature of what he was dealing with meant that every week his 'good day ratio' got a little worse. So thinking of it that way may help you find your inner voice and 'feel' this ratio as it pertains to Muffin and her quality of life. Tune into that voice to help you with the timing.... In the meantime, spend as much time with her as you can and know that this site is a huge support network.

This reminds me of the adage of "better a day too soon than a moment too late". I took our kitten in a bit early but it was because she was just merely existing. It wasn't a way to live. Hard choices.

 

[neely]

This reminds me of the adage of "better a day too soon than a moment too late".

Although slightly different the meaning is exactly the same and ever since we procrastinated with one of our pets I have relied on this phrase ever since: better a day too soon than to let them suffer in pain.

I agree that you know Muffin best not the young vet. Whenever possible I choose the older more seasoned vet, e.g. they not only have more experience but usually see the big picture. A former vet told me if it's a multi-vet practice and you would like to see a particular vet to advocate for your pet because after all, you're the one paying the bill regardless of which vet you see. I have done this time and time again, and when the front desk person tells me I have to wait I say ok, I'll wait. Of course, if the vet you want has an emergency surgery it's understandable to see another vet but you can always ask for them to call you when they're out of surgery or at the end of the day.

I'm sorry that Muffin and you are experiencing this health issue. Thinking of you and sending special thoughts.