I'm in agony, and I need opinions and advice. Please be kind, I'm really struggling to find what's right for me and my beloved cats.
Currently I have 8 cats (all indoors, 7 girls and 1 boy, ages 5-9 and I've had them all at least 5 years - one of the 9 year olds I've had since she was a kitten). I have never had this many at once, and honestly didn't mean to this time. I was previously married and my ex-husband convinced me (rather, guilted me) into adopting them. How? By playing to my bleeding heart - we'd go to Petsmart to buy food and he'd drag me over to say hi to the shelter cats, and if I even showed the slightest interest in one, he would dig at me every day about it saying things like "but no one else wants her, look how long she's been here," or "I stopped by to say hi to the shelter cat after work today, she's still there and I picked up the adoption paperwork just in case...." We had a big house, two incomes and I figured we'd be together at least 20 years, so there would be no problem. Less than a year after adopting the 8th (the 5 year old now) I caught him cheating and we divorced. I couldn't sleep at night giving him any of the cats as I knew he wouldn't care for them. Now I live in a 1100 square foot townhome, less than 1/3 the size of the house we shared, alone with 8 cats.
I have struggled financially in the last few years, but I've still managed to keep my head above water and provide the food and care all 8 cats need. I have a terrific relationship with my veterinarian, who let me carry a balance with them and pay when I can. Dating and friendships have been difficult at best. Many friends are either allergic to cats and can't come over, or men I'm interested in dating either have an issue with so many cats, are allergic or think I'm just plain crazy. Even guys who like and HAVE cats are turned off by me having so many cats, saying they still have at least 5 years left (my cats) and they can't picture living with so many, or how would their cat possibly get along with all of mine.
Up until now I've had my heart broken over and over but still deal with it because I adore my cats, they're my family. I am lonely at times, but I knew and still know adopting a cat is a 15-20 year commitment, and I have never agreed with or supported the idea that pets are 'disposable' and you get rid of them when they're no longer convenient.
Thursday I got some unhappy work related news. A major contract I've had for the last 8 years is suddenly and without warning, ending. This could result in as much as 1/3 of my income vanishing overnight. I still have a full time job where I work from home, but it doesn't pay enough for me to survive on in the area that I live. It provides benefits so it's not an option to quit or reduce hours, as my profession is largely freelance based and to find something this steady is not easy. The freelance contract that's going away was also a gift - there are not many (if any) steady, weekly contracts in my profession (I'm an interpreter). It will not be easy to replace the income I'm going to be losing, and if I do, it won't likely be steady, but fluctuate wildly from month to month. In fact, I'm the only single interpreter I know. Everyone else in my profession is married, or lives with their partner, so they have another steady income to rely on. I don't.
With the problems I'm having with friends/relationships, and now this drastic and scary reduction in income, I feel like the universe is forcing me to take a good hard look at my choices, and, more heartbreakingly, my cats. I am limited in where I can live - I can't move to a private rental, no one will accept 8 cats. Due to my divorce and resulting bankruptcy I can't qualify to buy anything I can afford. I live in a large rental community that only thinks I have two cats, and have to hide them whenever the maintenance people need to enter (and my place is SMALL, it's not easy). I have no friends or family I can move in with, especially if I have all of my cats. I recently met a couple of men I really liked and could see a potential future with; one couldn't get on board with 8 cats, the other is allergic and although he tried to see if he could be around my cats, it became clear that he was going to have too much difficulty controlling his symptoms.
What do I do? They idea of rehoming any ONE of them makes my stomach hurt. I would not give any of them up unless it meant a better life for them, but I'm really struggling with if that's the case right now. I already have a large balance with my vet that needs to be paid off, with a loss of income I don't know when I'll be able to do that.
How do I make the right decision for both me and my cats and be at peace with it? The thought of losing any of them makes my heart hurt, but how do I know if rehoming any of them is the right decision for THEM, and how on EARTH do I choose?
Again, please be kind, I feel like my world is being ripped away from me and I need to find a way to come to terms with whatever decision I make.
Currently I have 8 cats (all indoors, 7 girls and 1 boy, ages 5-9 and I've had them all at least 5 years - one of the 9 year olds I've had since she was a kitten). I have never had this many at once, and honestly didn't mean to this time. I was previously married and my ex-husband convinced me (rather, guilted me) into adopting them. How? By playing to my bleeding heart - we'd go to Petsmart to buy food and he'd drag me over to say hi to the shelter cats, and if I even showed the slightest interest in one, he would dig at me every day about it saying things like "but no one else wants her, look how long she's been here," or "I stopped by to say hi to the shelter cat after work today, she's still there and I picked up the adoption paperwork just in case...." We had a big house, two incomes and I figured we'd be together at least 20 years, so there would be no problem. Less than a year after adopting the 8th (the 5 year old now) I caught him cheating and we divorced. I couldn't sleep at night giving him any of the cats as I knew he wouldn't care for them. Now I live in a 1100 square foot townhome, less than 1/3 the size of the house we shared, alone with 8 cats.
I have struggled financially in the last few years, but I've still managed to keep my head above water and provide the food and care all 8 cats need. I have a terrific relationship with my veterinarian, who let me carry a balance with them and pay when I can. Dating and friendships have been difficult at best. Many friends are either allergic to cats and can't come over, or men I'm interested in dating either have an issue with so many cats, are allergic or think I'm just plain crazy. Even guys who like and HAVE cats are turned off by me having so many cats, saying they still have at least 5 years left (my cats) and they can't picture living with so many, or how would their cat possibly get along with all of mine.
Up until now I've had my heart broken over and over but still deal with it because I adore my cats, they're my family. I am lonely at times, but I knew and still know adopting a cat is a 15-20 year commitment, and I have never agreed with or supported the idea that pets are 'disposable' and you get rid of them when they're no longer convenient.
Thursday I got some unhappy work related news. A major contract I've had for the last 8 years is suddenly and without warning, ending. This could result in as much as 1/3 of my income vanishing overnight. I still have a full time job where I work from home, but it doesn't pay enough for me to survive on in the area that I live. It provides benefits so it's not an option to quit or reduce hours, as my profession is largely freelance based and to find something this steady is not easy. The freelance contract that's going away was also a gift - there are not many (if any) steady, weekly contracts in my profession (I'm an interpreter). It will not be easy to replace the income I'm going to be losing, and if I do, it won't likely be steady, but fluctuate wildly from month to month. In fact, I'm the only single interpreter I know. Everyone else in my profession is married, or lives with their partner, so they have another steady income to rely on. I don't.
With the problems I'm having with friends/relationships, and now this drastic and scary reduction in income, I feel like the universe is forcing me to take a good hard look at my choices, and, more heartbreakingly, my cats. I am limited in where I can live - I can't move to a private rental, no one will accept 8 cats. Due to my divorce and resulting bankruptcy I can't qualify to buy anything I can afford. I live in a large rental community that only thinks I have two cats, and have to hide them whenever the maintenance people need to enter (and my place is SMALL, it's not easy). I have no friends or family I can move in with, especially if I have all of my cats. I recently met a couple of men I really liked and could see a potential future with; one couldn't get on board with 8 cats, the other is allergic and although he tried to see if he could be around my cats, it became clear that he was going to have too much difficulty controlling his symptoms.
What do I do? They idea of rehoming any ONE of them makes my stomach hurt. I would not give any of them up unless it meant a better life for them, but I'm really struggling with if that's the case right now. I already have a large balance with my vet that needs to be paid off, with a loss of income I don't know when I'll be able to do that.
How do I make the right decision for both me and my cats and be at peace with it? The thought of losing any of them makes my heart hurt, but how do I know if rehoming any of them is the right decision for THEM, and how on EARTH do I choose?
Again, please be kind, I feel like my world is being ripped away from me and I need to find a way to come to terms with whatever decision I make.
