I have a very hard time trying to figure out what would be the best decision for us so I am looking for an objective fresh perspective. This situation has taken an emotional toll on me.
My bf, me and our three cats live in a rented one bedroom apartment. We have grown to hate it. Bad. For the first time in my life I have experienced anxiety attacks because of that apartment - everything is old, squeaks, the kitchen tiles are falling and we have an infiltration that sometimes gets dry. We do not know the owners as they do not live in this country, we pay the rent to some relative of theirs who is more than willing to help us with the minor stuff, not so much with replacing the tiles and the floors. We do not have the concept of landlords - here, individual people buy apartments which they can rent to other individual people, most of the time with no legal bond. My anxiety comes from a weird source: my downstairs neighbor is away with work 10 months/year, but in the months he is home he really likes to entertain people. Loud. I do not want to say anything to him because my three cats run around like a herd of hungry hippos at night and my NEUTERED male cat sings us the song of his people every morning at 4 am. So I guess we have this unspoken agreement that we bother each other but not complain. It is obvious the time to move, because I think all of us deserve and afford a better home.
Here is where it gets complicated:
- my mother owns a three bedroom apartment in which she lives alone. She is willing to take us in, although she doesn't like cats (in general).
- my father owns a cottage and a land in the city, but there is a very complicated legal situation there which I am trying to solve. He is willing to sell it as soon as possible and give us the money or allow us to build our own home on the land (which we can not do yet because of the legal issues of the land)
- my bf's parents own a two bedroom apartment and a huge country house 1 hour away from the city. They are planning to move to the country house in two-three years, when they retire, and give us the apartment
- we have money for a small apartment (like the one we are living in right now) and the bank will give us enough money to buy a big house and land outside the city
THE OPTIONS:
1. Buy a small apartment with the money we have BUT why do that when my mom has a big one and his parents have one that will be ours in two-three years, and maybe have loud neighbors or be the loud neighbor?
2. Move in with my mother. Although I love that apartment, I grew up in it, I don't know if I am ok moving with my bf and my mother (moral issues). They both get along very well. We would have to keep the cats in one bedroom, a small hallway, a big bathroom and an enclosed balcony, at least at first (I don't think this is an issue for them, because they tend to stay in one room now anyway). We could use this as a temporary solution, until we figure out the issue with my father's land or until we find something better. And we could save some serious money.
3. THE DREAM: Buy a big home outside the city, have enough land to plant own tomatoes and stuff. THE DISADVANTAGES: have a bank debt for the rest of our lives, increase the expenses with gas and home maintenance and refuse all social life, as everyone we know lives in the city. Never go away on holidays as there is no one available to feed the cats, or pray to make new friends where we'll move. It is our dream to have a house like this, but we are probably not ready for the lifestyle yet.
4. Rent another place - even if I would find someone to accept three cats, there will be the same risks with loud neighbors or us being the loud neighbors. Plus we have so so many things hard to move, and in the end the efforts is too big for another temporary solution.
5. The most obvious option, I suck it up, take some Bach remedies and some camomile tea and stay here where we are until we figure out what to do. It is just frustrating that we have to pay (rent) to feel bad.
What to do, what to do?! My bf is a very calm whatever kind of guy, he is ok with any of the options, except with the buying a big expensive house right now (he says we should not hurry buying an expensive house and I am in a hurry to move).
My bf, me and our three cats live in a rented one bedroom apartment. We have grown to hate it. Bad. For the first time in my life I have experienced anxiety attacks because of that apartment - everything is old, squeaks, the kitchen tiles are falling and we have an infiltration that sometimes gets dry. We do not know the owners as they do not live in this country, we pay the rent to some relative of theirs who is more than willing to help us with the minor stuff, not so much with replacing the tiles and the floors. We do not have the concept of landlords - here, individual people buy apartments which they can rent to other individual people, most of the time with no legal bond. My anxiety comes from a weird source: my downstairs neighbor is away with work 10 months/year, but in the months he is home he really likes to entertain people. Loud. I do not want to say anything to him because my three cats run around like a herd of hungry hippos at night and my NEUTERED male cat sings us the song of his people every morning at 4 am. So I guess we have this unspoken agreement that we bother each other but not complain. It is obvious the time to move, because I think all of us deserve and afford a better home.
Here is where it gets complicated:
- my mother owns a three bedroom apartment in which she lives alone. She is willing to take us in, although she doesn't like cats (in general).
- my father owns a cottage and a land in the city, but there is a very complicated legal situation there which I am trying to solve. He is willing to sell it as soon as possible and give us the money or allow us to build our own home on the land (which we can not do yet because of the legal issues of the land)
- my bf's parents own a two bedroom apartment and a huge country house 1 hour away from the city. They are planning to move to the country house in two-three years, when they retire, and give us the apartment
- we have money for a small apartment (like the one we are living in right now) and the bank will give us enough money to buy a big house and land outside the city
THE OPTIONS:
1. Buy a small apartment with the money we have BUT why do that when my mom has a big one and his parents have one that will be ours in two-three years, and maybe have loud neighbors or be the loud neighbor?
2. Move in with my mother. Although I love that apartment, I grew up in it, I don't know if I am ok moving with my bf and my mother (moral issues). They both get along very well. We would have to keep the cats in one bedroom, a small hallway, a big bathroom and an enclosed balcony, at least at first (I don't think this is an issue for them, because they tend to stay in one room now anyway). We could use this as a temporary solution, until we figure out the issue with my father's land or until we find something better. And we could save some serious money.
3. THE DREAM: Buy a big home outside the city, have enough land to plant own tomatoes and stuff. THE DISADVANTAGES: have a bank debt for the rest of our lives, increase the expenses with gas and home maintenance and refuse all social life, as everyone we know lives in the city. Never go away on holidays as there is no one available to feed the cats, or pray to make new friends where we'll move. It is our dream to have a house like this, but we are probably not ready for the lifestyle yet.
4. Rent another place - even if I would find someone to accept three cats, there will be the same risks with loud neighbors or us being the loud neighbors. Plus we have so so many things hard to move, and in the end the efforts is too big for another temporary solution.
5. The most obvious option, I suck it up, take some Bach remedies and some camomile tea and stay here where we are until we figure out what to do. It is just frustrating that we have to pay (rent) to feel bad.
What to do, what to do?! My bf is a very calm whatever kind of guy, he is ok with any of the options, except with the buying a big expensive house right now (he says we should not hurry buying an expensive house and I am in a hurry to move).
