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Help me prepare
- Thread starter melaq
- Start Date
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #22
Yesterday was Thaddeus's last day on Earth.
He had been doing so well for the past few weeks. I thought the vet, though well intentioned, was full of it, when she said that he may not have long. He stubbornly picked himself back up and started eating well. We gave him as much food as he wanted, ran the tap all day and night so he can drink (he loved doing that, in the past, we'd try to discourage it, but lately, we let him do what he wants). I gave him cheese, tuna, yogurt, let him lick the flavour powder off my chips. He wouldn't stop begging until he let me do that.
On Friday, he began to deteriorate. He started getting very weak. Me and my s/o talked about it, and decided that we were going to let him go. If we continued to treat, we'd fall into a rabbit hole of care, expenses, time, which wasn't that much of a big deal verses how happy and comfortable he was. A treatment now might make him feel better but what happens down the line. What if the next time, he isn't just weak, he's in pain and suffering. I try to justify all that to myself after the fact, and I know we made the right decision but it is so very hard to reconcile.
We thought we'd let him pass away peacefully at home. But when his movements became so laboured, when he stopped eating and wetting himself, we knew we had to make this decision.
He'd cry little meows for us when we weren't there, so we gave him as much attention as he wanted. I feel fortunate that my partner could be at home throughout the day for him. There was only an hour or so when Thaddy would be alone. Trying to get home after work in rush hour knowing he was alone and helpless was excrutiating for me, I'll tell you that.
But he wanted to stay close to us. He never even tried to hide. He tried to do his daily routines, but he was just too weak. He stopped eating in the last 24 hours. I gave him some tuna water and yogurt earlier which he still loved, but a few hours after that, he was completely disinterested. I'd give him water in a syringe because knowing he was going to die, I still wanted him to be comfortable.
You know, you think you'd be prepared for this. I came here asking for help on what to do. I was afraid of this moment, and I felt prepared... I literally stayed up all night, taking short naps to be with him on the couch. I felt prepared, taking him to the vet, me and my partner standing by him, petting him as the task was done. When we came home to an empty apartment, I realized I wasn't prepared at all.
Our vet was awesome. I've told you before, that money is always a problem for me, I'm close to struggling financially. This vet is not inexpensive, but they're reasonable, and if I had more money, I would throw it at them because I truly believe they care. The office he was brought had the lights dimmed. The table was covered in a soft plush blanket. The vet who helped us was the owner of the place and has seen him before. He talked us through it. I've done this once before with my sugar kitty, Niko, who I had to let go when he was only 5. I had to bring him to an emergency clinic, and make the decision right there on a metal table with a doctor he's never seen before. With Thaddeus, this is close to the best situation. The office even had a candle lit in the reception area with a small note letting visitors know that the candle was there for clients going through a sensitive matter.
I hold a lot of guilt, which I guess is natural, but honestly knowing that doesn't help. I wish I could have given Thaddy the best life a cat could have. I think in the end, he knew we were there for him. He never tried to leave our sides.
Thank you for reading.
He had been doing so well for the past few weeks. I thought the vet, though well intentioned, was full of it, when she said that he may not have long. He stubbornly picked himself back up and started eating well. We gave him as much food as he wanted, ran the tap all day and night so he can drink (he loved doing that, in the past, we'd try to discourage it, but lately, we let him do what he wants). I gave him cheese, tuna, yogurt, let him lick the flavour powder off my chips. He wouldn't stop begging until he let me do that.
On Friday, he began to deteriorate. He started getting very weak. Me and my s/o talked about it, and decided that we were going to let him go. If we continued to treat, we'd fall into a rabbit hole of care, expenses, time, which wasn't that much of a big deal verses how happy and comfortable he was. A treatment now might make him feel better but what happens down the line. What if the next time, he isn't just weak, he's in pain and suffering. I try to justify all that to myself after the fact, and I know we made the right decision but it is so very hard to reconcile.
We thought we'd let him pass away peacefully at home. But when his movements became so laboured, when he stopped eating and wetting himself, we knew we had to make this decision.
He'd cry little meows for us when we weren't there, so we gave him as much attention as he wanted. I feel fortunate that my partner could be at home throughout the day for him. There was only an hour or so when Thaddy would be alone. Trying to get home after work in rush hour knowing he was alone and helpless was excrutiating for me, I'll tell you that.
But he wanted to stay close to us. He never even tried to hide. He tried to do his daily routines, but he was just too weak. He stopped eating in the last 24 hours. I gave him some tuna water and yogurt earlier which he still loved, but a few hours after that, he was completely disinterested. I'd give him water in a syringe because knowing he was going to die, I still wanted him to be comfortable.
You know, you think you'd be prepared for this. I came here asking for help on what to do. I was afraid of this moment, and I felt prepared... I literally stayed up all night, taking short naps to be with him on the couch. I felt prepared, taking him to the vet, me and my partner standing by him, petting him as the task was done. When we came home to an empty apartment, I realized I wasn't prepared at all.
Our vet was awesome. I've told you before, that money is always a problem for me, I'm close to struggling financially. This vet is not inexpensive, but they're reasonable, and if I had more money, I would throw it at them because I truly believe they care. The office he was brought had the lights dimmed. The table was covered in a soft plush blanket. The vet who helped us was the owner of the place and has seen him before. He talked us through it. I've done this once before with my sugar kitty, Niko, who I had to let go when he was only 5. I had to bring him to an emergency clinic, and make the decision right there on a metal table with a doctor he's never seen before. With Thaddeus, this is close to the best situation. The office even had a candle lit in the reception area with a small note letting visitors know that the candle was there for clients going through a sensitive matter.
I hold a lot of guilt, which I guess is natural, but honestly knowing that doesn't help. I wish I could have given Thaddy the best life a cat could have. I think in the end, he knew we were there for him. He never tried to leave our sides.
Thank you for reading.
I am so very sorry for what you are going through. As hard as it was for both of you, you ultimately knew it was the only answer. That really wasn't the hard part, was it? Now the hard part is living without him. I will say a prayer for you and Thaddy.
I wish this transition wasn't so painful for us. I am still suffering over Meela and all my regrets. I am glad you were there in the end with Thaddy. He knew you loved him and were doing what was best for him. That's almost all you can do. Reflect on your happy memories with him, even though the pain takes away from them right now.
You shouldn't regret his life not being what you wanted or thought it should be. I mean, you gave him the best you could and I am sure he didn't expect any more than love from you. You took care of him, comforted him and LOVED him...
We all have regrets and wish we could have done better, but in the end, it sometimes can't change what God has in plan for us or for our babies.
I hope Meela and him are together waiting for us.
I wish this transition wasn't so painful for us. I am still suffering over Meela and all my regrets. I am glad you were there in the end with Thaddy. He knew you loved him and were doing what was best for him. That's almost all you can do. Reflect on your happy memories with him, even though the pain takes away from them right now.
You shouldn't regret his life not being what you wanted or thought it should be. I mean, you gave him the best you could and I am sure he didn't expect any more than love from you. You took care of him, comforted him and LOVED him...
We all have regrets and wish we could have done better, but in the end, it sometimes can't change what God has in plan for us or for our babies.
I hope Meela and him are together waiting for us.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #24
M
meelasmom
, thank you so much. I will be okay, but I'm feeling for you very much too. I mentioned my Niko, who I lost when he was only 5. He was a diabetic kitty, and I tried to manage it. It got to a point where it became unmanageable and he withdrew. I took him to an emergency vet, hoping for he could heal, instead, like you, I had to make the decision right then and there to put him down. I had so much guilt from that, and believe me, I'm still carrying that guilt a decade later. That hurt will always be there, same as it is for Niko, for my Princess who I lost two years ago, and it will be there for Thaddy. The best we can do is hold on to our memories, and heal. It's a raw, jagged wound, but we'll heal with care. Thank you.
I know you will be ok. 
We all will, in time.
My guilt stems from the fact that I DID NOT have to put Meela down, at least not that day and maybe not ever. The truth is that it was 50/50 her with the Anemia, but she wasn't dying that day. One more day is what I should have given her. Those memories of that last hour with her haunt me. I panicked.
You are right. I am trying to hold onto the memories, but right now my pain overshadows any of them. I miss her so much.
We all will, in time. My guilt stems from the fact that I DID NOT have to put Meela down, at least not that day and maybe not ever. The truth is that it was 50/50 her with the Anemia, but she wasn't dying that day. One more day is what I should have given her. Those memories of that last hour with her haunt me. I panicked.
You are right. I am trying to hold onto the memories, but right now my pain overshadows any of them. I miss her so much.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #26
I know they say that time will heal a broken heart, but it just keeps tearing. I keep thinking of him, and his last moments with us. I hope he knew we were there for him and loved him. Each day that passes just keeps getting worse. My place is so empty.
I'm here crying over my lunch because I imagined hearing him in his litter box. He'd come over, sit on the chair next to me, his two front paws on the arm and meow loudly right at me because he wanted to know what I was eating.
I really miss him, and I want him back.
I'm here crying over my lunch because I imagined hearing him in his litter box. He'd come over, sit on the chair next to me, his two front paws on the arm and meow loudly right at me because he wanted to know what I was eating.
I really miss him, and I want him back.
I feel exactly like you do. I am so sorry for the pain we have to endure. It is NOT fair.
Meela would see me eating and would nose up to me sniffing until she was close enough to take from me..lol. I shared most everything with her. I miss her so much.
I know it's very hard right now but would you care to share a happy memory that might out a smile on your face?
You aren't alone with your pain. I have been thinking about Meela's last hour..that hour where I made a huge mistake and should have out more thought into it....
It could have changed everything.
I truly feel and understand your pain.I cry every day..still.
Meela would see me eating and would nose up to me sniffing until she was close enough to take from me..lol. I shared most everything with her. I miss her so much.
I know it's very hard right now but would you care to share a happy memory that might out a smile on your face?
You aren't alone with your pain. I have been thinking about Meela's last hour..that hour where I made a huge mistake and should have out more thought into it....
It could have changed everything.
I truly feel and understand your pain.I cry every day..still.
Sorry to read of the loss of your beautiful Thaddeus. He has lived a wonderful and full life with you no doubt. He's been next to you in all the most important moments of your life and you did the same when the most important day of his life arrived.
I'm not the best person to give others advise on how to cope with the grief, because I am still going through the process of accepting the loss of my sweet Lola and haven't accepted it yet, but one day we will be able to look back at the beautiful days with our beloved pets with a smile rather than with a tear.
I lost another wonderful cat three and a half years ago and I haven't gone over it yet, so probably these 43 months weren't enough.
RIP "bad boy face" Thaddeus, now you can play and run free of pains.
I'm not the best person to give others advise on how to cope with the grief, because I am still going through the process of accepting the loss of my sweet Lola and haven't accepted it yet, but one day we will be able to look back at the beautiful days with our beloved pets with a smile rather than with a tear.
I lost another wonderful cat three and a half years ago and I haven't gone over it yet, so probably these 43 months weren't enough.
RIP "bad boy face" Thaddeus, now you can play and run free of pains.
I am so sorry that your beautiful boy left on his next journey. He was such a beautiful guy
I am so, so sorry. He was a beautiful cat, and obviously much loved. RIP Thaddeus. 
I just ran across your post and with tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart I want to send my deepest condolences. You and your s/o were wonderful with Thaddeus. I also had to make the decision to not let my beloved 22 yr old pony Dusty suffer any longer. He was dropping weight and had failing kidneys. I had gotten him for my birthday when I was eight and he was four. Although it has been over 35 years and I know it was was for the best, I still love and miss him. We got a backhoe and dug a hole with a ramp. As you did, I also had a wonderful caring vet. He had been with us a very long time, he cried right along with my dad at the top of the hole after administering the shot. Dusty went to his final sleep with his head in my lap.. 
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I think you should see his passing as natural even if the vet helped him leave. And you did give him the best life a cat could hope for. You loved him every day no matter what. Sometimes the body wears out even if the spirit doesn't.
