Have i lost my bond

[Alimb1991]

So I have had my cat 8 years as a kitten she was introduced to an older cat, we lost her and i have moved house and I got a kitten on Friday to introduce to my current cat. The first day was as expected some hissing etc. My cat was my therapy cat I had a really special bond with her she helped with my panic attacks and she always waited places for me to come out and had affection several times a day. Since bringing the kitten home I have lost all of that. She isint nasty to the kitten she does still hiss but they don't fight and she doesn't seem unhappy or distressed. I am in pieces because I feel like I have ruined the bond with my girl, she was used to sharing as grew up with a cat. I know it should take time but I'm more worried about if I've lost that bond completely if I keep the kitten.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi, welcome!

Another cat, whether a kitten or older, changes the dynamics of the territory of a resident cat. I don't think there's a way to know if you'll get the bond back the same as it was.

Can you talk to the place you got the kitten from, and ask if you could try and see what your resident cat might do if you give them the kitten back, since this is your therapy cat?

 

[iPappy]

I don't feel like it's been long enough, personally. The kitten is brand new and your adult cat is still trying to figure things out and is more than likely busy doing that vs. her old routine. Does your adult cat have space to be away from the kitten?
If it helps, I had a papillon dog that was my soul mate. When I brought another papillon puppy home I made sure my adult dog and I spent time away from the puppy, and made sure he was welcome when I was playing with the new puppy. It took a few weeks but things went back to normal.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Friday is not nearly long enough to worry about that. Your current cat has most of her attention taken up with sizing up this little newcomer. Give this more time, and you may very well see your current cat relaxing and moving back to her old habits.

 

[Alimb1991]

Friday is not nearly long enough to worry about that. Your current cat has most of her attention taken up with sizing up this little newcomer. Give this more time, and you may very well see your current cat relaxing and moving back to her old habits.

Yeah lots of people are telling me to be patient and keep giving it more time, I am just really upset I don't have the affection

 

[JDourg]

Yeah lots of people are telling me to be patient and keep giving it more time, I am just really upset I don't have the affection

I understand what you’re going through. I had to dig down, so to speak, for more patience because my Mayer was a very nervous cat when I brought him home. After a week of what seemed to be no progress, I was getting by turns upset and depressed. But I remember calling a friend who is a nurse and she just encouraged me that I was doing great with Mayer and to stay with it. I did. And he is as affectionate and loving guy as there is — and I was so glad about the advice I received. You just have to keep going and it will work out.

 

[di and bob]

I agree taht just days is not near enough time. a kitten IS rambunctous and rowdy, the older cat is scared and unsure of herself because of the changes and bound to be trying to teach the kitten some manners. It WILL work out! Hisses, growls, swats, are all normal. The reason you don't have that 'bond' right now is that yor cats attention is ALL on the newcomer. That will all change in time. She will return to being her old self, you'll see. Her peresonality won't change. She is extremely distracted right now. this will all take a couple of months to straighten out. Try to relax, let tehm together as much as possible until conflict seems to be too intense and just love them. Get a kickeroo or two on Amazon and throw one towards the kitten when she gets too wild, or some treats. It will work!

 

[Furballsmom]

I am just really upset I don't have the affection

Hang in there with this. I realize there's more to this because your resident cat is also your therapy cat.

I'm sending loads of love

 

[Alimb1991]

Just wanted to update in the last couple of days we have massively turned a corner. Me and my partner have both had purry cuddles from my older cat and they are sharing the same spaces to sleep. We still have a little way to go as she's still not completely back but I get greeted at the door again now x

 

[Furballsmom]

I'm absolutely thrilled to be wrong(ish) when it turns out like this !

 

[iPappy]

Just wanted to update in the last couple of days we have massively turned a corner. Me and my partner have both had purry cuddles from my older cat and they are sharing the same spaces to sleep. We still have a little way to go as she's still not completely back but I get greeted at the door again now x

For it not even being a week, this is SO incredibly encouraging. Many introductions take a few weeks with a kitten and it sounds like your older cat realizes the kitten is a part of the family and is to be accepted and loved.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

YAY! Just YAY!

 

[Alimb1991]

Hello everyone thought id give you a kitty update. We are just over 2 weeks in and is very up and down. My older cat went off for a few days very skittish and reactive, very little affection or allowing to be touched. We had brought a pet remedy plug in as we thought it would help keep things calm and we think it really over stimulated my older cat. We turned that off and the next day she was really cuddly and affectionate. Today however we've had a switch again. She does try and play with the kitten but is now getting a bit rough. Hopefully we are still heading in the right direction but feels a difficult time for me at the moment

 

[JDourg]

Hello everyone thought id give you a kitty update. We are just over 2 weeks in and is very up and down. My older cat went off for a few days very skittish and reactive, very little affection or allowing to be touched. We had brought a pet remedy plug in as we thought it would help keep things calm and we think it really over stimulated my older cat. We turned that off and the next day she was really cuddly and affectionate. Today however we've had a switch again. She does try and play with the kitten but is now getting a bit rough. Hopefully we are still heading in the right direction but feels a difficult time for me at the moment

Hang in there. I remember being at a point of feeling things would not work, and just as I was feeling that, things changed and Mayer become very comfortable and more relaxed. I had my iPad in his room and used my SiriusXM app, and played the Frank Sinatra Channel continuously for him. Frank’s soothing voice helped, in my opinion.

 

[di and bob]

Playing rough is what older cats do, they are teaching the kitten limits. The kitten amy scream and run away, but as long as they do not hide when the older cat appears and avoid them, everything is perfectly normal. With all my cats over 50 years I have never had an older cat actually really hurt a smaller kitten, Sometimes the kitten screams like they are being hurt but they are telling the older cat "Hey, that hurts!"A bunch of kittens palying together and learning limits sound like they are killing each other!