Guilt About Leaving My Cat Behind

[awt5148]

So when I used to live in another country, we had a whole cat family visit our house. We would feed them & then they would go about doing their own business. We had this one cat who was my favorite. She was one of the outdoor cats also who came inside to chill with us. She slept outside (as far as i can remember). She had little kittens a few weeks earlier. Around that time, we had to relocate to a different city due to my dad's job (I was 12 at the time). We tried taking the kitty and her kittens with us in the car but she would not stop crying in the car and was just very restless. My mom convinced us that we should leave her behind at the old house (since she is partly an outdoor cat, and knows her territory, she would be okay) since we were moving to my grandparents house and they dont like animals. We ended up going back to the house and leaving her there with her kittens.
Animals are roaming around everywhere where i am from. There's no concept of getting them neutered/spayed, i didnt even know that was a thing until i came to america when i was 15. Now, 10 years later, I wish i had been stubborn and took the kitty with me. I feel so much guilt and I know she was probably okay because she knew how to hunt but she was my favorite, i feel so sad every time i think about her and how i could go back in time and just take her with me. I think about going back to my country next year and go to that city, and see if she's still there (she'd be 14 if she is still alive) :'(

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! It's so frustrating when things are out of our control (in my case living in a no animal rental then). I too have guilt over two cats I totally bonded with but couldn't give a home to.
There's nothing we can do about those cat-shaped holes in our hearts, but we can give a current kitty a home, or love and playtime by volunteering, or shelter and food by donating.