Getting Kitten Used To Other Family Members

[Cydonia]

Hi! Back in February we brought in a real cute feral kitten from outside. I was the one that did the socialising until I could grab and shove her in the crate. She's been spayed since then.
Now for the first month and a half she stayed downstairs in a large cat cage where she saw the TV, the dogs, all family members and the guinea pigs. Since she's so little she's now staying in my sister's room.
The problem is she is terrified of anyone that isn't me or my sister. She likes me more than she likes my sister too.
I've tried havingy mom/dad/brother feed her, wouldn't eat anything they offered no matter how good. Play with her she'll just hide and act scared of the toy. A stranger touching her is 100% a no go, she barely lets me handle her when theres a stranger.
My brother visits her semi frequently (3-4 times a week) and after 15 minutes she might tolerate play but no touching. With my mom and dad it takes longer because they don't visit as often.
My dad did work in her room and spent several hours up there with her, and even after she'd calmed down from the drilling she barely tolerated him. Next day he was a complete stranger
When she goes downstairs to explore it's so much worse. If it's just me with her she's calm but hides when I try to pick her up but she'll quickly go back to exploring. If a stranger comes out she sits under the couch and come hell or high water she won't move.
We've started sticking her in the cage so she spends a couple of hours around everyone. She won't run from anyone in the cage but acts like she's never seen you once out.
I feel really bad that we have this cute kitten that 3/5 of the family can't even touch. Is there anything besides forced exposure and time I can do to get her okay with strangers? Kinda hard to socialize the cat when it already likes you!
Thank you! Here's a pic for getting through all of that

 

[duncanmac]

What a cutie! Here's what I saw of my feral for the first week:

first night.jpg

• duncanmac
• Mar 19, 2017
• 1

I spent a lot of time with Barry - hours just sitting with him in the bathroom reading and talking to myself. It took two more weeks for him to come out around me and months before I could pet him. Almost a year before I could pick him up - not cuddle him, but just pick him up from the floor to the bed. He's not exactly cuddly now, but he is friendly - follows me around the house, comes nearby for pets, and plays.

My wife is a different story - he likes her too, but rarely lets her pet him. Its part of the feral background - they just don't trust people. One maybe, two if you're lucky.

When company comes, Barry hides. And he's good at hiding. Some of my family doubt we have two cats. If just one or two people come over, Barry might get brave and come out to see what's going on, but he is pretty wary of strangers.

If you want your guy to like the rest of the family - they should just come over, be quiet and just ignore the cat - especially when he makes the first few forays out to see them. And its going to take time.

But if you're lucky, you'll end up with this:

Napping with Barry 1

• duncanmac
• Nov 2, 2017

Barry Belly Rub.jpg

• duncanmac
• Mar 17, 2017

 

[ArtNJ]

I don't think cage time in the family room counts. Kitten probably considers that very stressful, so it may have the opposite effect your hoping for. For the same reason, your dad in the kitten's room drilling doesn't count, or counts negatively against him -- thats stressful time. If the family can't spend more time in the kittens room quietly, I think you just have to let the kitten roam and hope for the best.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I agree with not forcing the kitten to be close with no escape. That's a very high-stress situation for any cat. Both D duncanmac and A ArtNJ are right...have the family come over and just spend quiet time ignoring little Whatsherface (what is this cutie's name?). It is going to take time. Proably a lot of it, and patience. Remember, this is a kitten who grew up being taught that two-foots are mean and evil and to be avoided. She can learn differently, but she has to be encouraged to it, not forced.

 

[Hellenww]

Has she had any interaction with the other animals while she is loose downstairs? If so, how did each side react? If they were both respectful it might be a good idea to leave the bedroom door open and let kitty decide when she wants to come out and explore. Even if she just comes out in the hall and can hear downstairs voices she can get used to the sounds of the house with the freedom to run back to her room if she gets scared.

 

[Cydonia]

Has she had any interaction with the other animals while she is loose downstairs? If so, how did each side react? If they were both respectful it might be a good idea to leave the bedroom door open and let kitty decide when she wants to come out and explore. Even if she just comes out in the hall and can hear downstairs voices she can get used to the sounds of the house with the freedom to run back to her room if she gets scared.

This is what makes it so difficult, she can't roam around and when she is loose downstairs it's never for more than an hour. We have 2 dogs and she absolutely HATES them. First one didn't get a chance to sniff her cage before she started hissing and spitting, and the second one took her hissing as play/threat and ran at the cage. So for her to be out both dogs are put up at least until she's bigger than their plushie toys. There's also 2 guinea pigs that she's looked at so definitely NOT allowed near them unsupervised!
She gets special stuff whenever she's in the cage, it also has different wands and toys than the room so it's interesting. I figured it would just be getting them to sit and ignore, that's how I tamed her and the ferals by just sitting motionless for hours outside with them.
But what about actual strangers, neighbors vets ECT? Is there just a threshold where after getting used to enough people the hard way she'll tolerate everyone? When she went to the vet before anything had been done to her she turned full feral, bit the techs arm, spun around and scratched her then hissed. Felt kinda bad since they were expecting a cute sick kitten :/

And her name is Daisy! She came downstairs this morning to eat, got to sniff the catnip bag AND smell the strange hair from the neighbors cat on my deshedding brush so she was in a good mood, mom got to touch her while she was eating!

 

[Hellenww]

Can you put up a baby gate at your bedroom door? She might be able hear the sounds of the house and learn they are not a danger. Also if a dog goes near the gate she's in her safe place and can move away from the door. You may need 2 gates to stack so no one can just over and you end up with a fight. In the cage she has no escape so has to be on alert.

Some cats just choose one person, tolerate family members, and want nothing to do with any others. But since she let your mom pet her she might not be one of those.

I've had no expirience with former ferals and smaller/prey type animals learning to coexist. Maybe someone else has ideas on having Daisy free with the guinea pigs uncaged.

It could be very slow going and pushing her to interact could slow it down. Patience is the name of the game with kitties. Don't stress yourself out. Follow her lead. I'm sure she senses how much you care.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

If one baby gate won't hold her, you can stack them, one atop another.