Father on the way to the ER

[misty8723]

My father, Jack, had his blood drawn this morning. His doctor called a bit ago and said his potassium and kidney results are slightly elevated. He's been to the kidney doctor not long ago, and those results are the same. That doctor said he isn't worrying about it based on the fact that my father is 93. But this is his PCP. Maybe the combination of potassium and kidney could be dangerous? I'm very stressed because I'm not up there and my sister is his care giver. I want to be there to help, and I just can't. My father can't walk and my sister doesn't drive, they had to go by ambulance. She's worried about how she's going to get home. I just wanted to tell somebody because I can't tell my husband, I'm sure he would find something to lecture me about. He doesn't like my family (and they don't like him).

 

[denice]

I am sorry and hope he is okay. He may not be admitted, it could just be more tests. There are other ambulance options if they are in an urban area. They are often something like a wheelchair van. They do need to be scheduled ahead of time, they are often used even for routine appointments.

 

[rubysmama]

Sorry you're not able to be there with your father. Hope he'll be ok and be back home soon. Sending hugs your way as you wait for news.

 

[misty8723]

I am sorry and hope he is okay. He may not be admitted, it could just be more tests. There are other ambulance options if they are in an urban area. They are often something like a wheelchair van. They do need to be scheduled ahead of time, they are often used even for routine appointments.

Thank you. There is a wheelchair van that they take for regular doctor appointments, but you can't get them on the spur of the moment.

 

[misty8723]

Sorry you're not able to be there with your father. Hope he'll be ok and be back home soon. Sending hugs your way as you wait for news.

Thank you. I hate waiting for news. I'd rather it be me going to the ER.

 

[neely]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad and that you are not able to be with him. I can sympathize as I took care of both my parents since my sister lives out-of-state and at the time had young children. Do you have any idea how long your dad will be in the hospital? Was your sister able to get home or get a ride from someone?

 

[Winchester]

I'm sorry you can't be with your dad. Wishing him to get better soon. Hope your sister got home OK.

 

[Margret]

misty8723 My husband lived with stage four kidney failure for around 15 years before he decided to kill himself by going off of dialysis, for reasons that aren't totally clear to me even now, but it wasn't primarily the kidney failure that led to his decision. I'm not sure what kind of previous kidney diagnoses your father has had - does he have some kind of chronic kidney problem? If so, what kind of treatment has he been getting?

High potassium levels are frequently a problem for kidney patients. There are drugs available which can help the patient deal with the problem, but most patients prefer to avoid foods that are high in potassium and resort to the drugs only when the problem becomes acute. And the way they know it's acute (based entirely on personal observation of one kidney patient - my husband) is that it's agonizing. If your dad's doctor tells him otherwise, go with the doctor's advice, especially if the doctor in question is a nephrologist (kidney specialist).

I understand that this is scary, especially since you can't be there to ask all the questions that must be leaping into your head, but based only on what you've posted so far this sounds like it's comparatively minor and the doctor is exercising caution. He may also want your dad seen by a nephrologist, and the easiest way to make that happen quickly is to send him to the hospital.

It is now about nine and a half hours since your original post - has there been any further news? Did your sister make it home okay?

Margret

 

[maggie101]

He will get better. He has lived a long life and has many more to live

 

[misty8723]

misty8723 My husband lived with stage four kidney failure for around 15 years before he decided to kill himself by going off of dialysis, for reasons that aren't totally clear to me even now, but it wasn't primarily the kidney failure that led to his decision. I'm not sure what kind of previous kidney diagnoses your father has had - does he have some kind of chronic kidney problem? If so, what kind of treatment has he been getting?

High potassium levels are frequently a problem for kidney patients. There are drugs available which can help the patient deal with the problem, but most patients prefer to avoid foods that are high in potassium and resort to the drugs only when the problem becomes acute. And the way they know it's acute (based entirely on personal observation of one kidney patient - my husband) is that it's agonizing. If your dad's doctor tells him otherwise, go with the doctor's advice, especially if the doctor in question is a nephrologist (kidney specialist).

I understand that this is scary, especially since you can't be there to ask all the questions that must be leaping into your head, but based only on what you've posted so far this sounds like it's comparatively minor and the doctor is exercising caution. He may also want your dad seen by a nephrologist, and the easiest way to make that happen quickly is to send him to the hospital.

It is now about nine and a half hours since your original post - has there been any further news? Did your sister make it home okay?

Margret

Thank you for your post and the information. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband, that's incredibly sad. I hope you're doing okay.

My father has a kidney doctor who is aware of his kidney levels. He's been monitored for a long time. That doctor told him that based on his age he wasn't worried about it. It was his heart doctor who sent him to the ER based on both the kidney and protein levels. His protein was actually lower at the hospital. He does not eat food high in protein. He doesn't eat much food at all these days. He doesn't really have a heart problem either. He had -- oh something replaced -- my old brain is failing me, and a stent put in some years ago and they just monitor him. Many years ago he was in Walmart with my sister and some friends and fainted. At the hospital they found out his protein was low so he's been taking protein powder - which of course they told him to cut out now. They've given him some medicine (I haven't found out yet which medicine, I'll check with my sister later today. She was just worn out last night. They plan to recheck his blood in 3 days.

One of the problems here is that they're coordining with his PCP to come up with a "plan" when they really should be coordinating with the heart and kidney doctors. My sister plans to call the other doctors today just to keep them in the loop. I would like to assume the hospital informed them, but I've learned not to assume.

I apologize for not updating last night. By the time they were ready to discharge it was pretty late. My sister had to find some way to get him home. Because he has mobility issues (barely able to walk these days) she needs help getting him up the stairs to the townhouse (5 stairs). She called the Emergycare wheelchair van but they said it would be 2 to 3 hours because they only had one driver and he was on his way out of town. So she called a friend (Bill) who used to help until he had heart problems and my sister stared using the emergycare van. At first Bill said he couldn't do it, so she was trying to get someone else. Finally, Bill said he would do it, got them home, and my father in the house. I spent a lot of hours chatting with my sister both at the hospital and after she got home, she just needed someone to talk to. I thought about getting back on here, but I just was too tired myself (I have anxiety issues, so that had kicked into high gear).

 

[iPappy]

misty8723 I hope things are looking up for you all this morning.

 

[misty8723]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad and that you are not able to be with him. I can sympathize as I took care of both my parents since my sister lives out-of-state and at the time had young children. Do you have any idea how long your dad will be in the hospital? Was your sister able to get home or get a ride from someone?

Thank you. They gave him some medicine and sent him home. They'll recheck his blood in three days, and come up with a "plan." His kidney doctors knows about his numbers, he's been pretty stable although slightly high for awhile. It was the heart doctor who sent him to the ER. It was probably just to err on the side of caution, and his protein was actually lower there. My sis was totally stressed about getting him home safely. The van was going to be a 3 hour wait and getting someone who could come and who was willing to help get him up the stairs into the house was a challenge, but she found someone. It was about 7 when they finally got home. They were both exhausted.

 

[misty8723]

misty8723 I hope things are looking up for you all this morning.

Thank you, yes they are. They're rechecking his blood and we'll go from there. I posted a more detailed explanation of the situation a few minutes ago.

 

[Margret]

misty8723 It's been difficult, but I'm managing surprisingly well; thank you for asking.

Yes, they definitely need to be coordinating with the kidney and heart doctors. The PCP has to be part of it, of course, but protein levels are directly concerning to those two.

My greatest concern reading your description is the weight loss; unless your father was seriously overweight to start with that isn't healthy, and it complicates everything else. And with a need to restrict protein it's a hard problem to deal with. I would suggest asking for a nutritionist to get involved, one who has a good deal of experience with heart and kidney disease, and maybe geriatrics as well. Does your father have diabetes or some other health problem that's contributing to the kidney problems? That could also complicate the nutrition difficulties.

Your poor sister must be driven to distraction by all this; I wish I could think of a way to fix the transportation issues for her. She really needs something more reliable for emergencies like this - asking for help with heavy lifting from a friend who has heart problems doesn't sound like a long-term solution. What city does she live in? Maybe people on TCS can do some research and find some local solutions for her.

Margret

 

[misty8723]

misty8723 It's been difficult, but I'm managing surprisingly well; thank you for asking.

Yes, they definitely need to be coordinating with the kidney and heart doctors. The PCP has to be part of it, of course, but protein levels are directly concerning to those two.

My greatest concern reading your description is the weight loss; unless your father was seriously overweight to start with that isn't healthy, and it complicates everything else. And with a need to restrict protein it's a hard problem to deal with. I would suggest asking for a nutritionist to get involved, one who has a good deal of experience with heart and kidney disease, and maybe geriatrics as well. Does your father have diabetes or some other health problem that's contributing to the kidney problems? That could also complicate the nutrition difficulties.

Your poor sister must be driven to distraction by all this; I wish I could think of a way to fix the transportation issues for her. She really needs something more reliable for emergencies like this - asking for help with heavy lifting from a friend who has heart problems doesn't sound like a long-term solution. What city does she live in? Maybe people on TCS can do some research and find some local solutions for her.

Margret

I'm glad you're doing as well as can be expected. I can't imagine it's easy.

My sister has spoken with the kidney doctor who's advice to her was that they were making a mountain out of a mole hill. He says he does definitely needs to get the potassium under control, and he is sending her a list of foods to help with that. Unfortunately, my father has ARFID, selective eating disorder, and has gotten steadily worse as he ages. Getting him to try anything new is impossible. I have the same eating disorder (it is not learned, because I didn't grow up with him and never knew he was like this until after he and my mother got back together shortly before I married and moved away - and my mother ate just about anything. I think it's genetic). Knowing that, I completely understand how difficult it is for him to try new things. My sister and I have both pretty much torn our hair out trying to think of something he might at least try. The fact that he has no teeth doesn't help. We've tried pureed food but he's not interested. It's very hard to get someone to do something they don't want to do. He is an adult and there is nothing wrong with his mind, so we can't force him. We are going to look at the list and see if there is something we can figure out, and just hope for the best.

We've tried a few things, including signing up for a program for the sole purpose of helping him get to his appointment, but two things. He was more mobile then, but barely, and they insisted he be able to walk up and down the stairs by himself without help. One time when they brought him home the woman who was with him grabbed hold of him and practially dragged him up the stairs. I wasn't there, but I saw the bruises in the pictures my sister took. The other thing was they wouldn't let him go to his own doctor, he had to go to their center, and they wouldn't let my sister go with him. He is very hard of hearing, even with hearing aids, and we could imagine that they might get him to sign something that wouldn't be to his benefit. Especially if it was a pretty young girl asking him to sign. I have no reason to think they were doing anything unethical, but the fact they wouldn't let my sister go to the appointments was a huge red flag. No it's not ideal asking an older man with heart issues to help, but she mainly needed someone to pick them up and get them home and was able to get her landlord's daughter's partner (a young man who lives next door) to come over and help get him in the house. He just wasn't able to actually go to the hospital and drive them home. If we could come up with another solution, we would, as it's an ongoing concern for both of us. The erergycare van works well, but you can't always get them on the spur of the moment and just have to wait for them to pick you up afterward.

 

[denice]

One time when they brought him home the woman who was with him grabbed hold of him and practially dragged him up the stairs.

That is so wrong. It takes patience and understanding to do that type of work. Someone who doesn't have those qualities should find something else to do.

 

[neely]

misty8723 Where I live there is a special bus service for people with disabilities and all you need to do is make a reservation. I don't know if this is available where your dad lives but they do help people get to and from their house onto the bus. I thought this AARP article might have some helpful advice for you: Transportation Resources Caregivers Need to Know

Margret You have my sincere sympathies on the passing of your husband. I'm so deeply sorry for your loss.

 

[misty8723]

misty8723 Where I live there is a special bus service for people with disabilities and all you need to do is make a reservation. I don't know if this is available where your dad lives but they do help people get to and from their house onto the bus. I thought this AARP article might have some helpful advice for you: Transportation Resources Caregivers Need to Know

Thank you for the article, I'm going to read it and send my sister the link. They use a service called Emergycare, which has a wheelchair van, but you have to reserve it. With a case where you need to it right away, they'll come if they're available, but they're very busy usually.

FYI: the link took me to a page to join AARP. Since I am already a member, I'm going to log in and see if I can find it that way.